My heart aches. It aches like that mournful and sorrowful bird who has lost her children. It aches like that jailbird who was wrongfully accused. It aches like the super, awesome grandmother who doted on her kids and whom her kids have abandoned her in an old folks' home, leaving her to others' care. It aches like that poor desolated beggar who sits on the sidewalk all day, begging for a meal but no kiasu Singaporean cares. My heart aches, is because someone really close to be has betrayed and spread gossips about me.

Then here comes the saying, "The closest to you can do the most harm."

But then again, I always thought she was sweet and would never spread gossips. I thought she was really lovely and loved her friends. I thought wrong, I guess. Anyway it's okay, because I'm going to forget about it. I can't seem to, though. Everytime I look at her, that words, that hurtful, piercing words come back flooding to my mind. Ah damn.

I also think that I'm like a jailbird confined to four walls of the cell, there are only particular words that I can say so that I don't hurt others. But what about how others treated me? If they hurt me, am I supposed to tell them that? Or am i supposed to smile, and rebuke them in a joking way?

I'm angry at people who tell guys whom I like that I like them. But I'm super furious and dolorous when people tell guys whom I do not like that I like them. I feel betrayed, disappointed and so super duper sad. I feel that I've chosen the wrong friend. HAHA. That sounds so weird.

We keep on pretending, that sometimes we almost forget what it's like to be our own normal self. We're wrapped around tightly by a thick sheet, and it seemed to take so much effort to reveal out real self. But then again, this is the Singaporean. We never seemed to tell the truth, maybe because of popularity, maybe because of love - impressing your partner.

I also strongly dislike people who act cute and different to others. To us, close friends, you use your own sarcastic tone. To others, your loved ones or your seniors, or people from other classes, you go all, "Ohh, HELLO!" in this super damn freaking fake voice. I cannot stand these type of people. People will like you for who you are, not who you pretend to be. You can always go try to be an actor/actress if you really want to act in front of special people.

Moreover, I don't like selfish people. In other words, those that cares only about themselves. You want the best for YOURSELF, you don't bother to share what you succeed in. I can't can't can't can't x198570293489 people who pretends to "try" when he/she's actually making use of people. I can't stand people who pretends to "help" when they are actually waiting for you to say, "No, it's okay." so people will think that oh, you're such a great fantastic person. I hate people who go all, "Oh okay." when they actually don't want to. Why can't you just say what you really want?

Then also, I strongly detest people who thinks that they know alot of secrets but they don't. I don't like people who try to ask for secrets that someone has. I don't like people who tries to stick their big fat butt in the middle of a secret discussion and demand what's happening. And when people tell them secrets, sometimes they don't tell anything at all. Whatthehell, man!


In addition, I strongly dislike people who acts pretty when they're not. I mean, yes everyone's pretty. But try to style their hair into a really different style and tossing it around like you're on some Hollywood movie and am a big Hollywood model star.

I strongly strongly hate people who copy me, too. They simply have no fcuking orginality. HELLO?! It's my work, my personality. OH, youknow people even tried copying my PERSONALITY?? My favourites and what i wear and what i say. HAHAHHA. How hilarious. But sorry, I don't find it the least bit funny. I find it stupidly annoying. I don't mind if I, ME, MYSELF & I gave you the idea. Or helped you. If you would have so kindly open your small mouth and ask, "Bernice, could I copy your XBOETOIU idea?" I would have said yes, 'cos I'm really generous and kind. But I can't stand people who copy me, and pretend that they don't. Screw them, man.

My heart still aches. There, my post about people that I dislike. I've been trying to control my anger for a loong time now. To summarise it all up, I just hate people who PRETEND. Like manequins in a boutique. They make clothes that actually don't look nice, beautiful. They try to cover up their "ugly" (to them) self and try to be "cuter", much more "glamorous" and "cool". I think it's a whole lot of shit. I don't like being betrayed, or being the topic of a gossip discussion.

-xx-

I love watching the olympics :D After I prayed to the Lord for sooooo long, SINGAPORE FINALLY GOT A MEDALLL! I was shaking my leg so hard 'cos i was scared that Singapore might lose ): But in the end they wonnnnn :D AHAHA to Korea. So they're going into the finals - which means that they could get GOLD/SILVER :D WAY TO GOOO SINGAPORE! HAHHA. Thanks to Feng Tian Wei :D YAYAYAYAYAYYYY! Hahaha all my praying has not gone to waste. I was more like convincing the Lord. Like telling him the pros of Singapore winning & why they should. :D I made some promises too. HAHA [:

Oh TEACHERS' DAY'S COMING SOON :D Minggy & I are going to buy presents for teachers together [: YAY! Lol. Ok. I love qy. She's so sweeeeeeeeeeeet :D AHAHHA. I love minggy soo soo much too [: Today i took the laoya pork pork 852 bus again! Hahaa. Oh y'know. I saw my cousin while waiting for 173. My friend, Rachel was waiting with me too. He was with this group of ACS guys, his school/classmates probably. AND HE DIDN'T SAY HI. I was telling Rachel on how xin tong i was, and how hurt. And how afterall, we still had blood relations. HMPH. So I kind of like stood in front of him, but he still did not say hi. WHATEVER. We took the same bus (stayed near each other) and he got down first, but still did not say hi. HMPH. So we were kind of playing the "you-say-first-not-me" game. I don't care. Why must I say hi? Cannot be him meh? Should be da de rang xiao de. He purposely one lor. Look at me then quickly look away. DAMN HIM LA :D hahaa.

-xx-

Ohwell. PSLs results are out. Out of 9 people, 5 people got in. I know I won't, but I hope I will. :D See, I TELL PEOPLE that I WANT. Not like those who go, "Aiya i know i won't get in, anyway idc also." SO FAKE, WTH?? Yea so like I wish all interviewers all the best :D! I know you guys will get in. [:



With tons & truckloads of LOVEE,
Bernice! (:

comment? / top