No one told me I was going to find you


Child of God, ♥

I will fight the good fight, I will run and finish the race, I will keep the faith and see God face to face.


Affiliates, ♥
A
B
C Clara! Clare! Clarice! Charmaine!
D Daphne! Dorothy!
E Elizabeth! Elissa! Estee! Eugene! Eugenia!
F Felicia Chin!
G Grace! Geraldine #1! Geraldine #2!
H Hilary! Huimin!
I Isaac!
J Jacob! Jasmine! Jek Jin! Jermaine&Adelle! Jermaine! Jia Yun! Jian Sheng! Jin Cheng! Jing Ren! Jing Wen! Joeline!
K Kayla! Kah Hui! Kah Hwee! Kylee!
L Lesley! Liki! Lingting! Linsha! Li Wei!
M Marissa! Ming En! Min Hui!
N Natalie!♥ Natalie&me!♥ NY PSL!
O
P Phoebe!
Q Qian Yi!
R Rachel Tan! Rachel Teo! Rae! Rui Si!
S Shanna! Sherry! Shi Chen! Shi Jia! Shi Ying! Shin Yun! Si Ning! Si Yao! Stella!
T
U
V Valerie! Vanessa! Vanice!
W Wei Min!
X Xiaoen! Xiu Yi!
Y Yang Jie! Yi Xuan! Yuan Mei! Yue Ling!
Z
# 209!


Thanks, ♥
© * étoile filante
inspiration/colours: mintyapple
icons: cablelines
reference: x / x

title:
date: Saturday, November 8, 2008
time:3:31 PM
HELLO!
I think I should reply tags here.
BECAUSEEE. If i reply tags @ my tagboard I'm just going to push all the tags from my loved ones downn.


eliz!: Ohhh really! I didn't know. HAHA but I think it's better for the tagboard to be @ the 4th navigation. Hmm well idk I like it like this. Although I don't really like the way everything's so compact. ):

weiyu: OHH! Ty :D! Yea it's so confusing, right!

qianyi :): HAHAH HELLO! So big "YOOO" for me - i feel so honoured HAHAH. YEP I'M FEELING GREATT :DD It's good to be able to taste yummy food again :DD

jw: OHHH YEA! You're creativeee :DD Well seems like the designer doesn't think that way.

natalie: Woah... So buyaolian ah. Thought you so nice call me bestie actually want me to buy souvenir??!?! HAHAH KIDDING LA! :D Of courseee I'll buy for you a BIG BIG BIG souvenir :DD What d'you normally like! (Oh P.S. I'm planning to buy off-season stuff as they're cheaper HAHAHA don't mind hor. BUT THEY'RE STILL REALLY IN STYLLEE :D)

qianyi :): SORRY :X ! 'cos I decided to be fair to everyone, like only those who are my bestest bestiee then I give them hearts. sorry laa. BUT YOU JUST KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU CAN LIAO! :DDD


Last night I was lying in bed when the shadows rose ominously & all,
&.
I was wondering.
About how the future will be like.
How advanced technology will be.
Like maybe next time we can print pictures with our mobile phones. (expected.)
Like maybe next time everyone'll have a personal robot to help them.
Morning, you lie in bed while the robot brushes your teeth & all.
Exams done in computers (or something more advanced?!?!?!)
Like what correction tape will become.
Probably everyone's house will have a swimming pool (hey i like that.)

Maybe, a new colour might be found.
Called, BERNICE!
& then everywhere I go I hear people saying:
"Hey could you pass me that BERNICE colour pencil?"
OOOOOH!
Maybe the world will expand!
Then everyone's room will become LARGER & LARGERRR :DD

Well idk.
Scientists are now highly-educated, with overseas textbooks, with what, the highest technology and the best teachers like wts.
SOO. They should be smart enough to come up with much better technologyy :D , like maybe they can find a way to cure cancer!
It helps people, mannn.
Maybe they'll find the elixir!
People can live forever, because I think by then the world will expand!
And then more & more peopleee :DD
So it's like we get to know our greatgreatgreat X1234567890 grandparents!

Stella just asked me to watch this youtube video.
About 5 Rangers!
IT'S REALLY INTERESTINGG :DD
idk how to technically get put the video here for all to view so I'll just give you the website & you can click click & watch it by yourself!
5 RANGERS!
It has 13 episodes, I think.

I think I've changed.
Really.
I'm not in those crappy mood anymore, but instead I'm in those thinking, processing and patient mood where I'll sit down & meditate & drink a cup of oolong tea.
I think i've had a personality change.
Not totally like slightly.
But an obvious one.
Last time I used to be superduper kind & caring like wts it's trueeeee.
When people whom I don't even know fall / smth I'll go right up to her & help her up.
Now If i don't know them I'll be like asking myself of their reaction when I help them.
Like I'm actually worrying about what people will think as if that is more important than healing a person's wound.
This will sound like crap but hey I'm suffering a little early-life crisis hereee. & I need it to be sorted out.

& I think I've become more selfish.
I help people freely like I don't expect anything back from them.
Not like, Oh I teach you this question next time must teach me another question.
I don't have one whole list of who owes me how much $ pasted on my wardrobe.
Honestly.
Now I still do that. I still help people w/o wanting things back but what I've changed is.
I used to just give them my personal notes that help them during exams w/o feeling like, angry, or like they're going to do better than me / anything.
Now, rarely, but I do keep some of these things to myself. I mean, I still give them to people, but very few. I still help them with the knowledge.
I also feel the pinch & the anger and this damned selfishness in me when people copy my notes.
I mean duh I let them copy but I feel that... it's-mineee feeling.
& I really don't know why.
I'm not blaming anyone around me but I sincerely think that it's due to the influential surroundings that I'm in.
Like example, secondary school life.
Or should i say, competitive secondary school life where everyone wants the best for themselves.
I came in helping people only to get people turning their backs on me, leaving me in the stupid ditch to help myself out.
I mean like wth. That's what I get. I don't need a 1 for 1 trade, what I need is for people to help me when I need it.
(Altho it's pretty often but that's beside the point.)

I think another reason on why I've become more self-centered is well.
People look down on me.
I don't need fans, I don't need to be idolised.
I need R E S P E C T .
It's like everyone thinks I cannot do it & because of that I want to show them that I can do it.
I came to nanyang having the thought that I'm going to just pass & get promoted every year but due to the tensed atmosphere, the war grounds and the battle weapons I want to FIGHT. I don't want to be a back soldier, where people don't need because the front ones are so trained. I want to show them that I'm capable of something.
& I think that is why, i became somewhat competitive.
I wanted to beat some people.
SOME, if you did notice.
SOME = THOSE THAT LOOKED DOWN ON ME.
Those that they thought they will be better than me.
I don't need to be the top, I don't need to be the head soldier leading the way.
I just want to be the person who gets the orders, be the soldier who at least got acknowledged by the head soldier once.
I hope next year will be a better year.


& I CAN'T WAIT FOR MY BIRTHDAYYY :DDD!
I think I'm getting hyped up today because people are CALLING IN & asking for the things that i LOVE.
Obviously they want to buy me presents HAHAHA but they just don't want to admit it.
AWW my friends are hopeless liars.
HAHHAA but really, really really really I don't need a present.
I promise.
What I need is a call or a message. (I know it also costs but wts it's like max. $5 if you're overseas for just a HAPPY BIRTHDAYYY, RIGHT?!)
I still remember the other time Shi Ying called me on my birthday to wish me happy birthday & to tell the truth yes I was downright shocked.
I mean, everyone sends little sms-es which I appreciate a lot, too but a call!
That's something to treasureee.
The conversation flowed like this:
SY: Hello, may I speak to bernice, please?
ME: Yep.
SY: Err... Happy birthday.
ME: ... ... *momentarily shocked* OHH! (coming to life) Oh yes yes thank you! Thank you so much! (flustered by the fact she actually bothered to call)
SY: Yea ok have a nice birthday ya byebye.
ME: ... BYE!
So just some little wishes here & there, and like turn up for my birthday party :D!
(altho i still don't know what i'm going to do this year.)
I was actually thinking of going to like, East Coast Park and book those barbeque pits / smth.
I think we have to book, right.
Because people will also want it since 8thdec is also a public holiday.
And then... we can chill out & have some games &...
ERHEM. I really don't want to say this but.
probably minggy can teach me how to cycle.
There there now I didn't say that.
But I think it would be kind of boring just doing that.
Actually y'know my mum wanted to book the Singapore Flyer.
But I told her it'd be boring.
'cos you'll be cooped up in that... what'sthatthingcalled - room? box? cable car??
for approx. an hour.
WHICH WOULD BORE YOU TO TEARS.


OHWELL!
If anyone has suggestions, please tell me.
Don't be shyyy.
:D
OK. Minggy doesn't want to talk to me anymore because I didn't want her to go anywhere near my face & do make up on me.
AIYA OK LA I LET HER DOO.
But i must buy for her manequin to try it out.
At least IF IF IF (BIGG IFF) she cannot make it then I will know it beforehand.

I think this is one of my loong posts.
Oh y'know I haven't actually counted how many posts I've posted.
I should go count them now.
Kayla told me to go check it from the dashboard.
Let's hope while clicking here & clicking there I'll find it.
AH OK BYEBYE! :D



I think I need that oolong tea now.
I'm feeling a teeny weeny bit confused & lost hereee.


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