i woke up on the roof with my brothers.
there's a whale in the pool with my mother.
& my dad paints the house different colours.
where would we be, if we couldn't dream?

& i know, we get a little crazy.
& i know, we get a little loud.
& i know, we're never gonna fake it.
we're wild, we're free,
we're more than you think.
so call us freaks,
but that's just the way we roll.

you've got moves,
i got shoes,
let's go dancing.

-xx-

i'm needed for maths remedial ):
eeeeeek.
i shouldn't get all happy with my science.
anywayyyy. i'm still happy.
my marks is actually like damn low?
but i'm still happy because i finally finally finally PASSED (:
& i could have gotten an A1 with just one more fcuking mark. ):
& that mark could easily have been gotten!
i made TWO SUPER DUPER LUPER ZUPER BIG CARELESS MISTAKE!
each 2 damn marks.
= super good A1. ):
i just suckkkk.
life is just so unfairr. ):
(: but i PASSED!

sorry if i sound like i'm boasting ):
i really am like super happy (:
youknow i received the "bring dictionary & gao zi" message 5 times, & minghui still told me again on msn.
but anywayyy (:
at least i am reminded so many times.

TOMORROW'S APRIL FOOL! ;D
our class thought of loads of pranks on our teachers!
haha!
we must thank stellaaa & ashley (:
they thought of the pranks! (:

i suddenly realise i'm always smiling.
(: even tho most of the times they're fake smiles, youknow those type where you just wanna lie to yourself, to show yourself that you're happy when you're not.
sigh. at least i made the effort to smile ((:

i catch a glimpse of heaven,
i find my paradise,
when you look me in the eyes.

maybe it's not that easy to say i love you (:

YSMMHS (:
= you smile makes my heart ______ ;D

sugar
= C6H12O6

salt
= idon'tknow.

-xx-

what do you get when you fall in love?
you get another chance to catch phamonia (however you spell that!).
so for at least, until tomorrow,
i'll never fall in love again.

what do you get when you kiss a guy?
idon'tknow.
lalalalalalalalalala.

it's a song btw. (:

-xx-

THIS IS AN SOS,
DON'T WANNA SECOND GUESS,
THIS IS THE BOTTOM LINE IT'S TRUEE!
i gave my all for you,
now my heart's in two,
and i can't find the other half.
better believe i BLED. (:

-xx-

idon'tknowwhetherisitrightformetofallinlovewithyou.maybeihaven't,idon'tknowyouthatwellyet.butyouseemwellenough.i'mnot
goingtobetrayanyone,notmyself,notyou,nother.we'regoingtoforget&liveon,asfriends,eventhoiknowit'snicetobefriends,tosharethesecrets
wedon'twanteithertoknow(:

Hold on, hold on.
'cause an empty room can be so loud.
when you love someone & they break your heart,
don't give up on love, have faith, restart (:

-xx-

tomorrow's going to be a nicer day for me.. i HOPE! ):

someone shooot me now.
before i do it myself ):


<333
bye (:

NIGHT!
sweetdreams&goodnight&don'tletthebedbugsbite (:

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I PASSED MY SCIENCE!
OHMYTIAN YOU CAN NEVER GUESS HOW HAPPY I AM.
I FREAKING PASSED MY SCIENCE!
YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY!
I PASSED MY SCIENCE.
LALALALA.
I PASSED MY SCIENCE.
(:
I'M SO DAMN FREAKING HAPPY.
:D :D :D

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK.
I PASSED MY SCIENCE! (:

okay, this minghui is pestering me to go home.
i shall.
bye!
& she's also going "walao" (:

<3333

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If the heart is always searching,
can you ever find a home?
I've been looking for that someone,
i'll never make it on my own.
Dreams can't take the place of loving you,
there's got to be a million reasons about why it's true.

When you look at me in the eyes,
tell me that you love me.
Everything's alright,
when you're right here by my side.
When you look at me in the eyes,
i catch a glimpse of heaven,
i find my paradise.

How long will i be waiting to be with you again?
I'm gonna tell you that i love you in the best way i can.
I can't take a day without you here.
You're the light that makes my darkness disappear.

More and more,
i start to realize,
i can reach tomorrow;
i can hold my head up high,
is all because you're by my side.

-xx-

There he goes again,
the guy i'm in love with.
It's cool we're just friends.
We walk the halls of school,
but i know it's casual.
I don't wanna lead you on,
but the truth is i've grown fond,
everyone knows it's meant to be.

Falling in love,
just you & me,
till the end of time,
till i'm on your mind.

I'll just keep on dreaming.
But it's cool we're just friends,
small talk on IM,
just one word sentences.

He walks down the aisle,
i see all my friends smile.
'cause everyone knows,
we're meant to be.

-xx-

YAY!
i'm almost finishing the geography project!
now doing the IPO (:
BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO THE BIBIO! ):
anyway, it's not supposed to be in the slides...i think!
so maybe i'll just do it next time.

stupidd death note movie.
it's in JAPANESE!
how am i supposed to understand!
aiya, never mind.
i didn't bother to watch anymore.
i don't know how my brother understands la!
(: anyway, it's better blogging than watching.

deja vu = when you do something & felt that you've did it before but you didn't.

i think now alot of people loves the jonasbrothers.
i like them (: loads.
but i love the click five muchmuchmuchsupermore (((:
!!! eeeeeeeeeek!
click fiveee (:
SOS from jonasbrothers is damn super nice. [:
told you i made dinner plans,
with you & me and no one else.
haha! :D
go listen to ittt!

i didn't go training todayy.
):
simple reason:
my dad was sick & thus he couldn't bring us.
& i don't know how to go myself.
HAHA!
i am suchh a loserrr.

i don't know why i even bother to pretend, maybe it's just something i had to do. i don't know why i smile, when actually i felt like screaming & hitting you. i don't know why i go all, "hi" when i feel like slapping your smug face. i don't know why i apologise, when all i felt was to go, it's your own fault, your own mistake. i don't know why i even pretend to be your goddamnnn friend when i just want to be your enemy. i don't know why i pick you up when you fell when all i wanted to do was to kick you harder and leave you there. i don't even know why i'm pretending & faking. maybe 'cause this is just the way life is. maybe 'cause other than you, i don't have anyone close to help me smile, even if it's fake.

-xx-

purple is a niceee colour!
=
emooo. (:

tomorrow's monday!
monday's a nice day,
you get to go school late! (:

-xx-

BYE!
i gottaa continue my geog. (:

<3

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We're in the woods, just the two of us.
I have on my best sneakers,
the ones with the rainbow laces.
Her steps are bigger than mine, but it's a game -
i try to jump into the hold her shoes leave behind.
I'm a frog; i'm a kangaroo; i'm magic.

When i walk, it sounds like cereal getting poured for breakfast.

Crunch. "My legs hurt," I tell her.

"It's just a little bit longer."

"I don't want to walk," I say, and i sit right there, because if i don't move, she won't, either.

She leans down and points, but the trees are like the legs of tall people i can't see around.
"Do you see it yet?" she asks me.

I shake my head. Even if i could see it, i would have told her i couldn't.

She picks me up and puts me on her shoulders. "The pond," she says. "Can you see the pond?"

From up here, i can. It is a piece of sky, lying on the ground.

When Heaven breaks, who fixes it?

-xx-

Today my mum told me this fascinating fact when we were shopping for groceries.
she was all,
"Do you know that being a parent is the most unfair & 痛苦 one?
me,
'Why?"
her reply,
"Because even when your kids don't love you, you still have to love them."

I was like, WHAT???
ohmytian, my mum is seriously weird.
maybe she's too stressed.
i was so freaked out la!
(: but anyway, i think she's normal. (:

-xx-

training's tmr!
& i'm getting all scared 'cause i'm afraid i might fail again & suck. ):
sigh.
cross your fingers & hope for the best!

-xx-

I'M SCARED OF MY BLOCK TEST RESULTS! ):
i'm so scareddd.
i hope i pass.
):
pray for mee! ;D
just one,
"good luck, bernice!"
on my tagboard'll be goodd! ;D
thankyoup! (:

-xx-

ohya, i forgot to add this in.
the pictures were actually taken by Goh Minghui.
Credits to herr! *claps!*

the click five still rocks! :D

goodnight, ya'll!

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I LOST MY DAMNED PHONE ):

i got some pictures to show ya'll!

THEY ARE ALL TAKEN IN THE TOILETT! hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahaha! take a look: PRECAUTIONS TO TAKE BEFORE LOOKING AT THESE PICTURES: 1) Make sure you're not drinking or eating. 2) Make sure not to go eeeew.
3) Make sure you won't call the police & go all, "OrhHo! You __________!"
Thank You for Your kind co-operation (:

qianyi, minghui, yuanmei & me in a framed toilet (:

a clear version of the toilet. you can see the sink, the toilet bowl, and the cubicles (: hahaha!

(older post)
& that's the reason why, when you're young you fall in love

training was saddening today.
it was stupid, disappointing and stressful.
i got 184 for the first game.
& the second?
i got a freaking 58.

MY DAMNED BALL KEEPS ON GOING INTO THE GUTTER.
i think my ball and the gutter are going to get married someday.
): stupidd.
and i hate my arm too!
it keeps on slantinggg.
HMPH.

never mind, bernice. you've got to perservere!
jiayou! (:

if this carries on, i'm going to say goodbye to transferring of cca. ):
AHHH.
i just suckk.

take one step forward,
legs crossed,
hands swing back into a pendulum swing,
and follow through the ball,
and in it goes into the gutter!

HAHAHA.
not funny.
):

-xx-

You can feel people staring;
it's like heat that rises from the pavement during summer,
like a poker in the small of your back.
You don't have to hear a whisper,
either,
to know that it's about you.

I used to stand in front of the mirror in the bathroom to see what they were staring at.
I wanted to know what made their heads turn,
what it was about me that was so incredibly different.
At first i couldn't tell.
I mean, it was just me.
Then i started to listen to their comments
& pretty soon,
i believed them.

-xx-







i flunked all my blocktests.



):



WHY AM I SUCH A FREAKING FAILURE!



i don't know.



maybe i'm just born stupiddddd.



or maybe i was born smart but i didn't have the brains to use my smart brains.



-.-



i'm always crapping. (:

-xx-

nothing's showing on the outside,
something's dying on the inside.
i'm still broken but i'm freee.

-xx-

everyday's a bad day for mee. ):
maybe because of some particular things!
maybe i'm just to stupid to solve them,
but too smart to caree. )))))):

-xx-

youkeepmehangingon,
butwe'renotmovingon,
we'restandingstill,
jenny,
it'skillingmeeee.

-xx-

youknow actually i posted this post alr, but some problems occured & the other half was gone so i have to retype but the problem is that i can't remember what i've just typed last timee. ! ahh.
anyway never mind. ((:

i shall stick to today's post!

oh, the nanny for our LA is HONGjunyang (minghui! i got it RIGHT!) & our group coloured his hair white & the whole class was laughing like hell for our presentation! hahahaha! (:

i know it's kinda late,
but happy birthday.

so hard, when you're far away.
it's lame, but i forgot the date.
i won't make the same mistake,
i'm so to blamee.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA.
the hongjunyang picture is so damnn funny.

(: i'm always laughing 'cause of either minghui/yuanmei/stella. (:

ooooh!

i have nothing else to post. (:

i shall end here noww. BYEE! ;D

the click fivee rocks! ;D

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'cause an empty room can be so loud,
there's too many tears to drown them out.

i need to wake up from this state of mind.
this situation is the staying line.
i gotta get your memory out of my head.
would you catch me if i had to fall?

if i cannot do great things,
then i can do small things in a GREAT way.

the weekend song by the click five is nicee! :D
i just bought the jonas brothers cd.
i like s.o.s. the best! :D
friday night by the click five is also nice.
i wanted the simple plan cd with the t-shirt but they only have Large size... ):
walao!
i shall continue finding. (:


yesterday, all my troubles seem so far away.

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COMMON TESTS ARE FINALLY OVER!

like totally! :D
6 exams all down in two days! (:
and i studied only on tuesday and took the exams on wednesday.
studied on wednesday and took the exams today.
and i find that that's TOUGH! ):
i didn't have time during the holidays so i had no choice.. ]:
i definately failed history and chinese.
SIGH.
it's not easy to study in less than half a day for three subjects, trust me.
i had to practically burn the midnight oil and only remember like half of what i'm supposed to. SO DON'T EVER BE LIKE ME! :D
lol.
i hate common tests. ):
but at least now they are over!
and i also tried finishing all my SIAs in one day.
the next day, only 1 of all i had done was needed to be handed up!
i was like so damn pissed.
life so isn't fair. ):

i'm supposed to go out with stellaa today but she can't make it last minute.
and this ym can't too.
and everyone can't.
P-A-T-H-E-T-I-C!
): but never mind 'cause yuan mei & i are going to celebrate her birthday at her house, JEC and vivo! :D
the itenary. (19th June)
9a.m. to 11a.m.
Go to Miss Leong Yuan Mei's house.
- Tour around her house. :D
- Do some crazy stuff. (;
11a.m. to 4p.m.
Go to JEC.
- Take neo-prints. (:
- Ice Skating! [:
- Eat lunch..lol. -.-
4p.m. to 6.30p.m.
Go to Vivo.
- Buy the teddy for yuan mei as her birthday present.
- Yuan Mei will do some baby uhm paint-colouring at the baby place. (: LOL. while i choose her really cute birthday present.
6.30p.m. to 7p.m.
Go back to Yuan Mei's house.
- Play some more and my dad will fetch me home. [:

lol. it's all soo detailed.
will we finish it all?
hmm. we'll see.
I CAN'T WAIT FOR JUNEEE! :D
on her birthday others will come too! [:
yay. :D
i am so retarded.

i hate the way you butt into everything that i do. haven't i given enough you enough clues that it's your turn to back-off? like wth, you've almost ruined all the wonderful things that i've done. i've been very nice to you to tell you lies, but you should know too, that they are lies. well, if you believe them, that's your problem, not mine. i'm just your normal friend now, just like we've been, always. don't ever come between again, you bitch.

INTERESTING FACTS
yuan mei was merilyn's kindergarden very good friend.
merilyn was my primary school friend.
and yuan mei is now my super great and fantastic friend! [:
so cool.

you suck at everything you do. at calligraphy, in school work in everything, you're failing. you're failing life. you're not up to the standards. you're still losing.
but i will improve. i will and will and will improve and be up to the standards.
jiayou, bernice! :D

Yesterday was my mum's birthdayyy! :D
19th of March.
which has the samee date as yuan mei's birthday! (19 June)
and my mum said that yesterday was the lousiest birthday of her life because she was sick and couldn't go to her company's party and etc and etc. i told her to now be sad because it's her birthday!
i'm starting to be some sort of encourager for her, lol.
SHE HAS BEEN ONE FOR ME TOO!

Dedication to my Mum <3
Mummy you've been a great mother! <3
you've always been there for me.
you've always encouraged me, and even as i fail, you'll be there to pick me up.
you'll be crazy and talk about crazy stuff with me.
you'll talk about your love life when you were young.
thank you mummy! <3

And now the laughing machine beside me is making me crack up like hell.
yuan mei and i always have the same thoughts.
we can say the same full & long sentence at the same time with the exact words. :D

OOOOH. i love life.
lalalalalalalalala.
i love life.

and minghui, thanks for letting me hold your hand and scream with you before the exams. you've been a great stress-bag. :DDDD
ahahaha!
and a nice lesbo friend. [:
thanks for tagging too!

QIAN YI & CHARM are chio buus! [:

everyday is happy day.

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I feel the heat around me
I feel the beat surrounds me
Could this be for real,
I wonder
No need for hesitation
It's time for celebration
Will this be the night I've waited for
When angels fall in love
Heaven knows, does it show, oh
If this love, will last for eternity
Set me on fire
I believe, I believe in love
And like the stars above
They shine, let it shine over me
Set me free I believe in you
And that our love is true
Oh I believe, I believe
I see that people dancing
Boys and girls romancing
They want this to last forever
Cause underneath the moonlight
Everything is alright
We're reaching our hands up in the air
To where the souls alive
Heaven knows, that it shows oh
If this love, will last for eternity
Set me on fire
How could I doubt, what was meant to be
Everything I needed was in front of me
Your healing touch, will lift me up in the sky, so high

2 more days till performancee! EEEK!

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you know sometimes, someone comes up to you and tell you all the good things about her day.
you, on the other hand, had just had a very bad day.
you smile, and tell her how cool it is, when actually on the inside, you just want to tell her how screwed up you are now, and ask her to get lost.

in life, many of these stuff happens.
and that's why life's so sucky and idiotic and screwed up.
and that's why we must smile and forget, maybe let the wind take them away.
but sometimes it isn't that easy.
the thoughts may still come and haunt you.
but to win this stupid battle, the thing you must do is to stay strong, and have a friend who is very like you. continue looking at the bright side of things.
it doesn't matter whether you win/lose, the only thing that matters is the experience, and how you felt through it, and what you've learnt from it.

life is so fucking sucky.
i hate stress.
STRESS. is the most stupidest thing in the world.
i hate it when it's exams, when it's my performance.
i hate it when the world thinks i'm so fucking happy when i'm not.
i hate it when everything goes wrong and i'm supposed to pick the pieces up.
i hate it when i'm supposed to do something big in my life; and i know that i'm going to SCREW UP.
i hate it when it's again my turn to do the things that others like, and make myself suffer.
i hate everything.
i hate life.


I'm going to perform in a concert this saturday!
and i haven't even practised my song well yet.
AHHH.
let me tell you.
my life is SCREWED-UP.
fucking SCREWED-UP.
and i don't have time, nor the mood to go practice.
i hate the way life is. ):
i hate pressure.
shoot me. somebody.

i still love you. <3

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it doesn't matter anymore; now that we're together.

I cleaned the toilets! :D
during the camp.
and it's cool cleaning.
it's FUN.
(: yay i mastered a skill.
;P

how can you be a survivor, when you can't even remember the war?

memories change over time.
sometimes, you hear what people say, what they think that happened before.
your mind tend to take those in,
and it will slowly form a new memory;
one that is being passed.

the first tear is always the hottest.
it sprang out of my eyes, and rolled down.
even as i wipe it away,
the smear of it can still be felt;
a tinging sensation,
a burning drop of tear.




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OHMYGOD.
i think like this is the BEST camp EVER.

hmm where shall i start!
okay. the fact that we have a 5-day camp.
starting from monday.

we have our telematch!
and you get to play games.
like bursting balloons.
and we were like fighting with other classes.
and we played straw games.
which you were supposed to steal from other classes.
and we were practically FIGHTING. (as in kicking and and pushing and pulling and tugging)
just to get one goddamn straw.
STUPID RIGHT.
but it's fun.
and kayla got injured! ):

we were cheering like HELL for our class.
and we won the cheering for the first game. (most likely)
then the second game the loud-cheeres went to play.
then i didn't think we won.
third game.
4/5 of the loud-cheeres went to play.
so. we didn't get that cheering point.
):

then on wed it was like so funn! we had LOADS of games. :D
and we did talentime preparation.
and the food sucks.
charm and i shared our sleeping bags.
so cool.

on thurs it was our talentime.
ARGH.
i was so freaked out!
before the talentime we haven't even got our last part done.
so charm & i woke up at 5.15
and called the other dancers at 5.30.
while others woke up at 6.30.
SEE WE'RE SO HARD WORKING.
except someone who didn't want to practice.
and we had seal sports to organize stuff for us.
someone kept on saying that our instructors were hot (*winks*)
it was so fun lah!
then we had watersports.
(some people - not from our class - said that they were uncomfortable with guys instructors seeing them in swimming costume & i think that it's freaking stupid. whatever tho.)
so fun!
and charm & i and ash were like warming each other up 'cause it was freezing in the pool.
then we did trekking.
and the instructors were SO IMPRESSED by our cheers! (:
we were like so cool.
then we did cheering and learnt new cheers.
i love cheering.

youknow our class is like totally weird.
those enthu people are over-enthu.
and
those quite people are over-quiet.
and that makes a weird class.

then it was talentime.
charm cried before it and i felt like crying too.
we couldn't do anything right.
and while we were watching performances we were eating our m&ms like HELL.
we calmed each other down by telling ourselves that we aren't dancing to win, but to enjoy.

and when we performed.
we did it.
with.
NO MISTAKES!
i was like so damn happy.
charm too.
we were screaming & hugging each other.
and rae was so damn well with the drums.
you should have heard it.
rae, rock on!
we've formed a rae-fan-club. LOL.
and i heard that rae, you cried after playing.
you were SO PROUD OF YOURSELF RIGHT! :D

that night charm and i played the whole click five album.
and sang along.
we also are like super great friends with 108 now.
and we danced the mass dance & chicken dance with them (no joke!)
and we were enjoying shaking our butts and all.
we were supposed to get one 1/8 partner and dance with her.
i love 1/8. <3

charm and i were so excited of the results.
it's going to be released on friday.
and charm and i were like freaking out.
and did we win?
we were so confident.
we were the only class which used the drums & guitar & piano.

and guess what?
we LOST.
ohmg i tell you.
i was almost crying.
all our effort...
all our carrying of drums...
all our recesses and lunch...
youknow. life is so fucking unfair.
just because _______________
they won 2nd place.
i shan't say it.

i feel so pathetic.
DAMN.
we lost.
we lost.
we lost.
i cannot believe it.
we broke the record.
fcuk.

why didn't we win!
why are some teachers sooo biased!
okay i shall stop writing.

ta ta's! <3

charm, my little partner who slept beside me, with her hands all around the place, making it so uncomfortable for me to sleep.
charm, my little friend who is always enthu.
charm, my chio bu friend.
charm, i love you. <3

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great. now i have to type in normal font because my blogskin can't take small fonts.
just great. it looks so ugly here.
):

shit.shit.
i can't go bowling for TWO weeks 'cause of calligraphy competitions!
): ): ):
ahhhhhh.
and tomorrow i'm supposed to go up the next level.

block tests are coming. ):
and i'm going to flunk it.
]: god help me.

now the stupid terrorist is out and there are police around my house.
and even when i go home i get scared.
it's retarded.
but it's because usually no one is around my house and it gets so freaky.
so i have to walk from the bus-stop all the way home and keep on checking behind my shoulders.
i'm such a scardycat.
please catch that terrorist! ):

yay i'm going camp-shopping.
oooh i love camp shoppping.
and i love packing my bag for camp.

camp is coming!
yay it's games time. :D
HMPH. d'you know that we have to shower using a SCOOP?
and only given 5 minutes?
urgh.

mum's screaming for me to get into the shower.
ta ta!

<3

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you can't exist in this world without leaving a piece of yourself behind. there are concrete paths, like credit card receipts and appointment calendars and promises you've made to others. there are mircoscopic clues, like fingerprints, that stay visible unless you know how to look for them. but even in the absence of any of this, there's scent. we live in a cloud that moves with us as we check e-mails and jog and carpool. the whole time, we shed skin cells - forty thousand per minute - that rise on currents up our legs and under our chins.

yahoo! i finally changed my skin. :D
and my tagboard is easier to tagg!




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