Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequitted love.
~ Charlie Brown

From the first moment I met Evan, I knew that he was that special someone. Even if I knew I wouldn't be spending the rest of my life with him, I knew that I absolutely adored him before I even knew his name.
I met him in Drama Club, and I took an immediate liking to him. He wasn't all that handsome, but what I fell in love with was his personality.
I know that you probably think fourteen years old is much too young to claim to be in love, and I agree. However, I could tell that when I met him, I would spend a long time mooning over him. As it turned out, I did.
Mine was the type of crush that would stop me in my tracks when I saw him in the hallways. He would sometimes smile at me, sometimes he wouldn't, but I would still let out a breath that I had been holding in after passing him, and once he was gone I could feel my body stop shaking. It was sickening how completely crazy I was about him, especially since I was a freshman and he was a senior.
As I stated before, I met him in Drama Club. It was my first year and his last, which made things even harder. The first day of Dram Club, I hardly noticed him. It was our first meeting after auditions, and I was nervous, even with my normal friends around me. I saw seniors, and I was extremely and utterly afraid of upperclassmen.
One of our first exercises was to get into groups. I wasn't in a group with any of my friends. Instead, I was stuck with a sophomore and two seniors - one of them was Evan.
I smiled faintly, and we went on with the exercise which we had to say our character name and walk around in a diamond as everyone repeated the name coupled with a dance move. My two-syallable name was perfect for the exercise, and at the end, Evan smiled at me, telling me that I had great rhythm. I grinned back, my voice high: "Th-thanks!"
I knew that there was definitely something about him that I liked. Perhaps it was his constant happiness. Whenever he was with me, he would accompany his "hello" with a smile and a cheerful wave.
Maybe I liked how he brightened the room. He could dance and sing, make anyone tumble with laughter and pull off any joke or stunt or outfit... I absolutely adored him through and through.
In our play, he was the antagonistic character, the Devil. He played the part perfectly, and I would sometimes stand backstage so as to watch his dancing skills as he practiced.
I was fortunate enough that year to find my own skill in dancing, something that caught Evan's eye. The entire Drama Club applauded me with a standing ovation - twice - for my skill, but I would have given it all way just to have him look at me and smile, even faintly. I could tell that he liked me as a friend, at least. Evan would smile, I would melt. He would laugh, I would sigh. The list went on and on.
I suppose at this point, I should move on with my life. All that I have left are the memories and a few weeks until the end of the school year. I have a few pictures of him - a friend from Drama Club took a picture of Evan with his arm around me, wearing my favourite costime of his from the play. I haven't gotten it from her yet, but once I do I will be framing it and putting it next to my bed.
I adore Evan. I really do. I'm a freshman and he's a senior. It's too bad that he's graduating this year. It's too bad that I won't be able to see him for a very long time.
And it's too bad that he's gay.

~ Roxanne Hawthorne

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