I feel like crap.
I feel like I'm rolling down hill and heading into a bottomless black pit.
I miss my friends. Bad.

I don't want to be so kind to you anymore. The only "skill" that you ever can succeed in is treading on others' toes and receiving benefits for your own selfish needs, putting on a front that shows that you care for the whole world.

Who are you kidding?
Not me, anyway.

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Remember the days, we set out together with faith. We struggled through the darkest storms, living in poverty and scraping for a sense of life.

Uncle gave you everything he had, including his younger days for you to have a better life full of prosperity. You're a well-known doctor, earning more than enough for you and your family. You don't have to give him a luxurious life full of branded atmospheres, the least you can do for your father is to ensure that he has money to survive, to enjoy his last days.

Yet here he is, selling tissue packets for ten years now. He goes from table to table, perseverance being a part of him, begging for cash in exchange for his heavy and bulky goods. Losing face is one thing, suffering with trembling hands, throbbing veins and limping legs is another. I distinctively remember him coming towards my table once, tripping ever so slightly on the uneven ground, with weak shaking hands extended the neatly tied tissue packets together. His hands were full of rough and wrinkled folds of skin, cradling them into an old crumpled ship, sinking to reach for more packets in his squeaky trolley. He moved his mouth with an expressible amount of effort and asked me to buy, to support his survival. To my utter dismay, I had no money, and I had to turn him down. The look of disappointment and weariness stirred my heart, exploding it into a thousand shattered fragments. As he thronged away with an obvious limp, I was determined to amend it right.

When my mother came back, I got money from her, sprinted towards Uncle. I stopped short in front of him, panting slightly, watching him politely persuading a couple to buy. I placed the golden coin into his outstretched palm, smiling, grinning, from ear to ear. He reached, with quivering hands, itching inch by inch into the trolley, stretching with all his might for the deeply buried tissues. Instinctively, I said, "Uncle, 不用纸巾." Abruptly, I turned away, sudden springs erupting from my steps, sending a wave of thrill vibrating through my body.

At first, silence throbbed the air.
Seconds later, a faint voice from behind:
"Uncle, 我们也不用纸巾."


-xx-


I KNOW WHAT I'VE BEEN MISSING, WHAT I'VE BEEN DEPRIVED OF.
Shopping. Expensively.
I've never done that in a million years. The feeling of exorbitant cashmere flowing through your skin and the thrill of seeing countless clothes that will belong to you in seconds running through the cash register sends you to cloud-nine.
The best part is, you're not the one paying.

Final product? W.O.W. It has always been, out with friends, having holes in your pockets and throwing yourself into piles of debt. I'm out of that, it's the bags and bags of happiness that welcomes me now. Shopping and beaming at yourself in the mirror just fills your mind with glee. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I'M SOOOOOOO ELATED I CAN CRY.

Okay, Bernice, CHILL. Yesterday was full of fun! My mum and I walked into the Gents'. And even after my mum told me time and again that it's my fault, I don't agree. It's hers. She looked at my shirt (yeah I asked her to do that, but not to the extent that she forgets where she's going). As a result, my mum and I were aimlessly walking, but somewhere deep in my mind, I am indistinctly aware that we are somehow heading towards the wrong direction. Seeing my dad pulling up his pants (ew yes omg) confirmed my suspicion. At first, my mum and I stared, rooted to the spot, oblivious. Until my dad yelled, "Oi! Get out!"

HAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAH YEEEEEEES. My mum was like, Thank God it isn't some lao ah pei. Yep, gross content. Sorry for not warning xD But anyway, I'm so used to the atmosphere of being in a guys toilet since in CCA we often go there :D


THIS POST IS LONG ENOUGH. I love you guys, byebye!
BTW. You guys should so go to Fox <3!
BEST CLOTHES THIS SEASON WHOOOOOOPS!

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Don't be afraid to smile.

Last tuesday was a good day! Went out with Natalie♥ to ion! At first I got lost, but thank heavens nat is such a good director :D haha! Anyway, we were both wearing our couple ring necklaces!! Everybody was staring at me on the MRT; they must be thinking, "Wow, this girl sure loves her 'boyfriend' a lot!" Nat got me to love Japanese food! I have to admit, the rice with the egg is delicious! We crapped a lot during lunch, with nat telling me that she performed for teachers' day!!! O: WOW! What a shame I couldn't watch it :( Oh well! We watched The Proposal! The proposal is a very touching show, it pulls at your heart-strings when you least expect it. Both nat and I were tearing at the scene where Margaret Tates goes all, "You don't want to be with me." And the amazing thing is, the show is so cleverly set to crack you up when you're crying. Nat & I bought couple tees of Starbucks Coffee! :D Which I am wearing now, haha! Later, we went to shop at Uniqlo! :D I bought a black skirt, after persuasion from nat dear! I was supposed to save money, but it turns out that nat has the exact same one! :D SO COOL, we have the same taste!!

When it was time to part, it was really sad. But! We enjoyed ourselves and that's all that matters :)


-xx-


With all of my heart, I will care.

I counted, I actually eat 8 meals a day! Not to mention huge meals. It's no wonder I'm fat.

家好月圆, Moonlight Resonance, is a touching comedy! It tugs at your weakest points and opens the gates to enable your tears to trickle down, to the extent that you don't even have time for tissues. It sums up all of our everyday life happenings into an unbelievable yet promising tragedy filled with surprises that gets on your nerves. You can't stop, even after the theme song has died down, after the disc has been ejected, the scenes of pity and sympathy races through your mind, filling it permanently, so that even in your dreams, it appears in flashes to haunt your tears.


-xx-


Even though it hurts tremendously, even though all you want to do is to break yourself apart to rescue, you've still got to hold yourself back. That's when, you really break.

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