And I am leaving Singapore tomorrow. I feel scared, worried but yet super duper excited. I feel like I'm on a roller coaster, I can't stop it from happening, I am scared of thrills, yet I still want to feel the exhilaration.

This blog is gonna be dead for 3 weeks.
Toodles :)

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I throw all of your stuff away
then I clear you out of my head
I tear you out of my heart
and ignore all your messages
I tell everyone we are through
cause I'm so much better without you
but its just another pretty lie
cause I break down everytime you come around

You never know what you want
and you never say what you mean
but I start to go insane
everytime that you look at me
you only hear half of what i say
and your always showing up too late
and I know that I should say
goodbye but its no use
can't be with or without you

-xx-

I don't know why I keep on lying to you, I don't know why I can't bear to see you with someone else. I don't know why I keep thinking of you.

This is so insane I feel like smashing my phone. They say feelings die off, they slowly fade away. They're all liars, it's been so long, why does this feeling still linger?

I always tell myself I'm getting over you, but every question still has you in. I say I'm fine, but I never think about you though you're always on my mind.

P.S. HE added me on msn!

-xx-

To my best friend in the whole wide world:

Don't be sad anymore, I love you and you are my pretty sunshine. You are everyone else's, too! Look around you, how many people care about you - family, friends, even guys that do so much as pass by you probably has this huge crush on you, you know those like, I-saw-you-once-and-instantly-I-knew-you're-the-one kind of thing. :)

I love the bees (heard you're a bee ;)),
I love the daffodils,
I like the mountains,
I like the orange (favourite colour :D) hills,
I love my Natalie,
you'll never walk alone.

Life is all about obstacles. Be strong!!!!!! I know you are!!! <33333333333
You're my darling bao bei, you're a hpy to some people, you're the bees to some flowers, you're the leader in npcc! You lead people with your joy, you make people love you, and it's okay, things, feelings like this really goes away! (Only affairs of the heart don't, sadly, haha!) I love you, okay! You've gone through it before, I know you can, again! Trust me, you're not the only one that has to go through these kind of things, everybody has!!! Just that they try to hide it and "be cool", but you don't!!! See how many people care for you, 我爱你！

因为有你，世界就有声有色、完美、充满乐趣。你是大家的最爱，大家的宝贝，你善良，有魅力，而非常美丽！！！加油，千万不能放弃哦！

Pardon my chinese, bestie >< I'm really 班门弄斧-ing!!!

-xx-

MALACCA WAS AWESOME AND I LOVE 209'09!!!
Tired to post about it, if you want to read, go weiyu's blog she has a very extremely detailed version of Malacca's trip :) Just a few things I wanna say:

• Super memorable - many many ahem incidents that happens on the bus, and i will not experience it again
• Super extremely fun :) 20909 rock!!!
• Super extremely funny :D
• Super extremely crazy
• I will really miss 209... :(

-xx-

OMG! NZ's in like, 4 days :O I feel like fainting... 3 weeks w/o family & friends in Singapore! :( What if I cry man... Haha I have not started packing, shixzxzxzx and I still got loads of things to buy!!! I went to buy a super expensive winter jacket that I actually have, it' just a different design. And I fought with my whole family because they didn't allow me to buy it at first. I think I need to learn to be thrifty... :( I am really making my parents hard earned money to go waste!!! Although the jacket reallyyyyy looksss damnnn fabulousss!!!

I wanna watch 2012! But my dad wants to watch the dunnowhat ninja thing. I hope I win the 2012 one!!! 'cos anyway since I'm leaving (boohoo) he should let me choose. And my mum wants 2012 too! I wanna watch Love Happens before it runs out!!! :O

O.M.G. what am i babbling about... I just hope Nat feels better because I am feeling sad for her too :( This is just nonsense you can stop reading now... I feel so sad nobody tags here anymoreee :( I really like Boys Like Girls.

P.P.S. Although he may not be that shuai I think I'm looking forward to talk to him OMG THERE IS SERIOUSLY SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME!!!

Byebye people! This will probably be the last post before I leave... I WANT TO KISS MY FLOOR GOODBYEEE... 3 weeks, OHMYGOOSE!!!

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Well we got so much in store
tell me what is it im reaching for
when were through building memories ill hold yesterday in my heart
in my heart.

they can take tomorrow and the plans we made
they can take the music that we never play
all the broken dreams take everything
just take it away, but they can never have yesterday
they can take the future that we'll never know
they can take the places that we said we will go
all the broken dreams take everything
just take it away, but they can never have yesterday.

-xx-

209'2009, we had so much troubles, so much fight between us to get the best. People once said, shouldn't 209 be bonded, after all we all have something in common: Music. Shouldn't we? I heard others saying that on their last day of school, everyone was cheering - they were happy, ecstatic, that school has ended and that they won't see each other again. What about us - people were crying, people felt heartbreaks, there were people leading the way, to cheer one last time for 209. And I think we don't have to compare with the other classes, we don't have to see their exterior of love portrayed, because we know that deep down, many people feel the same way. And maybe, like Ji Laoshi said, because we learn music, we aren't that open to share our love and let our voices be heard.

The most important thing is: We know that we care.

The last day of school was fantastic, it ended better than I thought it would. I thought it would be like any other normal school day, but it wasn't. I think the post-exam activities made us more bonded, regardless of anything else. They always say that the more fights in a relationship, the stronger the bond. Maybe that really works for us. Drama fest'09 played an important role in making us feel as one, too!! I remember this person, who never really talked to me, came up and high-fived me when we got into the finals. The look on her face, depicted from the love for our class, allowed happiness to implode into my mind. So what if we didn't win, we don't need a freaking paper to remind us of the hard work we put in. What we need is the memories, because a paper can be destroyed, but our memories are able to stay, etched indelibly in our minds.

Although we had many ups and downs, I'm proud to say that I'm from TWO ZERO NINE. And I don't need all of us to be a legacy, I just want our smiles to brighten up walkways when we pass each other, the simple "hello, how are you?" will do, in fact it will be fantastic.

When we win prizes for our class, 209, we cheer, scream and holler.
Why?
It is not only because we feel proud that we're in the class with the ability to win awards,
it is not only because we are trying to paint a picture of us being enthusiastic, overpowering the rest.
It is because we know that each and every one of the 209-ians played roles, however significant of insignificant, to achieve this standard that bonds us together, that makes us the incredible 209'2009♥, that enable us to feel as one, and that is what that creates a wonderful picturesque of memory that nobody, but us, can capture.

They can take away our future, but they can never, ever, get hold of our yesterday.

-xx-

PSL WAS FUN :D xyzomg! We totally had a huge bitching session and everyone got so excited listening to me talk. Although most of the time I was exaggerating, they thoroughly enjoyed it! WE SO HAVE TO HAVE A BITCH @ THE BEACH OUTINGGGGGG!!! I love PSL♥!! It's the L-O-V-E baby. Eunice & I had a fantastic time tricking them with our lame games until Cheryl Choo was so freaking pissed she went to tell everybody who played, REMEMBER IT'S BERNICE GOH WHO CAME UP WITH THIS, THIS IS BERNICE GOH'S JOKE. HAHAHA!

-xx-

I'll miss the lame The Cool. I really will. :( It's been awesome with you guys, your lame jokes really spiked up my day!!! During LA lessons, especially, when we all sit with each other. Even when serious gigantic problems cropped up, we'll still be all, it's okay and will even cover it with many jokes to brighten up the atmosphere. I LOVE THAT!!! And although I'm always the helper, Fatimah, I still loved everything ♥!! I MISS YOU ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLXYZ.

& can you believe it, I still don't know what I'm gonna take next year. Should I take that option?? I am so indecisive.

Malacca is gonna be awesome, and I will not let anything get in the way of it being one of my best memories, in that invisible 209'2009 album we keep in our hearts.
I'LL MISSSSSSSS YOU ALLL DARLINGS!!! :'(

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