BERNICE! (:

LIVE LIFE WITH NO REGRETS

2010-07-25T00:07:00.001+08:00

"Take chances and risks, and throw all caution to the wind. You only have one heart, so love, goddamn it, love until it’s battered and bruised, because that’s a sign of a heart that knows what it wants. Don’t build walls around it, because they don’t keep people out. They fence you in. When you find the people you want to spend your entire life with, never, ever give them up without a fight."

I've lost my navigator

2010-07-21T21:40:00.000+08:00

So, I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons. And maybe we’ll never know most of them. But even if we don’t have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there.

You ask me why I like you, and it’s really something I can’t put into words. Maybe it’s because you make me happy most of the time. Maybe it’s because you know how to keep a conversation with me. Maybe it’s because you got me thinking about you before I go to sleep, and after I wake up. Maybe it’s because I can be myself around you. Maybe it’s because you bring the best out of me.

Maybe it’s because I can spend hours on the phone with you talking about the stupidest things. Maybe it’s because I can never get enough of you. Maybe it’s just because your just being yourself, and I’m slowly falling for you.

-xx-

There will always be those days, when all you want to do is stay in bed, let the world crash over you like a giant wave, and just sleep it off. You just want to pull back from everything, call in sick, when you’re emotionally hurting. But the best thing you can do on those days is get up and work through it because it only makes you stronger.

People who take your breath away don’t come often; sometimes, never again.

BE FREE (:

2010-07-19T23:09:00.004+08:00

There hasn’t been one day since you left where I haven’t fought the overwhelming urge to put you back into my life.

Sometimes we can fall in love with someone for all the wrong reasons, and still love them even after all the heartache because most of the time, we can’t pick who we love. And even though we know we shouldn’t love them, we do and always will, because there are just some people in our lives who will get to us for reasons we can’t explain, even when they shouldn't.

You don’t lose from loving. You only lose by holding back.

You know you have found someone special and irreplaceable when you feel an aching gap in your heart when they walk away.

Everyone is at war with different things. Sometimes I think I am at war with my own heart.

One of the worse things in life is caring about someone and wondering how they’ve been and what they’ve been up to when they’ve stopped thinking about you a long time ago.

I guess my only regret is that i couldn’t give you enough reasons to stay.

Sometimes we leave because we really want to stay.

~ All taken from http://runawaytrain.tumblr.com/ [:
It reminds me so much of you.

I'm falling even more in love with you

2010-07-18T15:04:00.003+08:00

Desperate for changing
Starving for truth
I'm closer to where I started
Chasing after you
I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you

Forgetting all I'm lacking
Completely incomplete
I'll take your invitation
You take all of me now...

I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you
I'm living for the only thing I know
I'm running and not quite sure where to go
And I don't know what I'm diving into
Just hanging by a moment here with you

There's nothing else to lose
There's nothing else to find
There's nothing in the world
That can change my mind
There is nothing else
There is nothing else
There is nothing else

-xx-

I'm confused, so many choices, so many words, so many memories, all yelling out only a single thought:
I'm falling deeper in love, with no one else, but you.

It's like I'm hanging by a moment here with you, but I don't want to let go, I want it to go on.

That's what I've been trying to avoid, but I realised that it was inevitable, for me at least.

MY BRAIN IS MESSED UP BY THIS FEELING.

Ohman I feel so screwed up.

AMPLIFY WAS AWESOME (L) :D

LOVED IT TO THE MAX! ((: I wanna do my part to help the less fortunate, I wanna open up to the world of minorities that are left struggling in developing countries... I wanna do so many things. But I'm pulled down by society, by school, by so many things D:

I wanna save the world with you.

WE'VE GOTTA FIGHT TILL THE END

2010-07-14T17:09:00.004+08:00

BLOCKS ARE COMING!!!

I AM SO STRESSED, SO WORN OUT AND SO SCREWED.

IT'S TIME TO TRY DEFYING GRAVITY,

TIME TO ABSTAIN FROM REACHING OUT TO UNFULFILLED DREAMS AND START CHANGING THEM INTO REALITY.

BECAUSE, GOD'S GONNA HELP US THROUGH THIS STORM.

BECAUSE, WE CAN BEAT THIS. (:

"Failure is not in the falling down,

but in the staying down."

OUR FUTURE'S SO BRIGHT,

WE NEED SHADES. [:

I wish our hearts could come together as one (:

2010-07-03T17:14:00.005+08:00

You make everything alright. (:

Horoscope!:

Your sweet, romantic side comes out in full force and you need to show someone how fun love can be. Even if you are just casually dating, you can make a serious impression.

COOL EY ^^ Too bad I'm staying single till 18! (:

"You need two people to make it work - it takes two hands to clap. Sometimes, people may get hurt falling in love but it doesn't mean they should not fall in love. I hope to believe in love until I am 80."

~ Singer-actress Rene Liu

-xx-

BE YOURSELF DAY WAS AWESOME ((: I LOVE 314'10 (L)!

WE DRESSED UP AS MIMES WITH FACE PAINT AND THE EXPERIENCE WAS EXTREMELY ENJOYABLE ((: It's a memory that will forever be etched indelibly in my mind yo! :D

IMMA HAPPY KID :D

-xx-

I have never walked on water;

Felt the waves beneath my feet but;

At Your word Lord, I'll receive Your;

Faith to walk on oceans deep. ♥

Send them your heart (:

2010-06-26T15:40:00.002+08:00

A child dies every three seconds from AIDS and extreme poverty, often before their fifth birthday.

More than one billion people do not have access to clean water.

Every year six million children die from malnutrition before their fifth birthday.

More than 800 million people go to bed hungry every day, 300 million are children.

Of these 300 million children, only eight percent are victims of famine or other emergency situations. More than 90 percent are suffering long-term malnourishment and micronutrient deficiency.

“I know poverty because poverty was there before I was born and it has become part of life like the blood through my veins. Poverty is not going empty for a single day and getting something to eat the next day. Poverty is going empty with no hope for the future. Poverty is getting nobody to feel your pain and poverty is when your dreams go in vain because nobody is there to help you. Poverty is watching your mothers, fathers, brothers and sisters die in pain and in sorrow just because they couldn't get something to eat. Poverty is hearing your grandmothers and grandfathers cry out to death to come take them because they are tired of this world. Poverty is watching your own children and grandchildren die in your arms but there is nothing you can do. Poverty is watching your children and grandchildren share tears in their deepest sleep. Poverty is suffering from HIV/AIDS and dying a shameful death but nobody seems to care". " Poverty is when you hide your face and wish nobody could see you just because you feel less than a human being. Poverty is when you dream of bread and fish you never see in the day light. Poverty is when people accuse you and prosecute you for no fault of yours but who is there to say some for you? Poverty is when the hopes of your fathers and grandfathers just vanish within a blink of an eye. I know poverty and I know poverty just like I know my father's name. Poverty never sleeps. Poverty works all day and night. Poverty never takes a holiday" (One Poor African)

Appreciate what you have, save others when it's within your means.

Not for good karma, but to put a smile on their faces, for that is what true happiness is about.

Never let them succumb to fate. Hope and faith is available at every devastating corner, all we need to do is search deep enough, without letting go of that ray of sunlight.

Hanging by a Moment

2010-06-25T17:33:00.007+08:00

I miss you, but I'm a good actor.

And I'm not sure if I miss the old you - molded by special memories that lay within me, or the new you - constantly leaving others stunned, but still as caring as ever.

I'm sorry I put you through it.

-xx-

After some time I've finally made up my mind
She is the girl and I really want to make her mine
I'm searching everywhere to find her again
to tell her I love her
and I'm sorry 'bout the things I've done

I find her standing in front of the church
the only place in town where I didn't search
She looks so happy in her weddingdress
but she's crying while she's saying this

Boy I've missed your kisses all the time but this is
twentyfive minutes too late
Though you travelled so far boy I'm sorry your are
twentyfive minutes too late

Against the wind I'm going home again
wishing me back to the time when we were more than friends

Out in the streets
places where hungry hearts have nothing to eat
inside my head
still I can hear the words she said

Boy I've missed your kisses all the time but this is
twentyfive minutes too late
Though you travelled so far boy I'm sorry your are
twentyfive minutes too late

-xx-

I've already forgiven you, although my actions say otherwise.

I want to be your friend again, I want you to quit this, I want you to be that guy you were.

"It is never too late to be what you might have been."
- George Eliott

Promises last a lifetime

2010-06-19T19:37:00.000+08:00

Somehow even the inevitabilities you manage to predict, still shock you.

Despite all that has changed, some things never do, history still repeats itself and lessons remain unlearnt.

Yet something feels different, and after all the drudgery, it's gonna pay off. Now all that's left to do, is wait.

The past has lost it's significance, and the future, looks surprisingly awesome [:

Many stories we tell will start with, "It was the year 2010,"

Make your 2010 a year to remember.

Touched by an Angel

2010-06-08T01:00:00.003+08:00

You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses.

These few days have been good for me and I feel happy like a little kid but I don't know what's gonna happen! I feel so sad for my dearest, please cheer up okay ): I know life's tough, but hang in there and persevere! No one's gonna be able to take anything away from you - block out their arguments, your friends will be here to give you all the freedom, support and love you need :)
Strive towards a better future, love! <3

-xx-
Love Gives Me Hope:

I had my first kiss today.
I'm 58 and I've never been happier.

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of four years in a nice restaurant. When she said yes, the entire restaurant stood up and applauded.
We're both women.
Understanding of true love GMH.

When my sister was younger she came home from school one day and demanded I take her to the library so she could get books on sign language.
I asked why? She told me there was a new kid at school who was deaf and she wanted to befriend him.
Today I stood beside her at their wedding watching her sign "I DO". GMH

-xx-

GOODNIGHT EVERYONE :D Sweet dreams! XOXO

Guys should totally read this:

2010-05-17T21:43:00.002+08:00

FROM GIRLS:

1. Don’t think that just because you didn’t tell us we are never going to find out.

2. Our friends know EVERYTHING.

3. EVERYTHING said to our friends will be told to us. Guaranteed.

4. No matter what we say, we hate your ex-girlfriend.

5. We check our phones every hour to see if you have replied to our texts, then worry if you haven’t.

6. The fact you might leave us for another girl keeps us up at night.

7. When we’re not talking to you on MSN, we’re actually waiting for you to talk to us (in a non-snobby way, we want to see if you still care enough to talk to us).

8. When we act sad, we want you to hug us.

9. Our favourite part of the MSN convo is at the end when you say good bye, because that’s the part you say you love us.

10. We actually freak out on what to do during holidays like Valentine's Day.

11. We don’t care what our friends think of you, but we do care what your friends think of us.

12. Yes, you might be the reason we failed that Maths test.

13. We are very, very scared of scaring you away.

14. We don’t care about what we talk about, just as long as we have your attention for a few minutes.

15. Of course, we do believe the crap we read in magazines.

16. We have mood swings. Get over it.

17. Everytime you’re around other girls, we worry they are better than us.

18. We don’t want to hear how cool your ex-girlfriend/neighbour/best gal friend is.

19. Movies like ‘He’s Just Not That Into You’ depress us.

20. We will move mountains on our timetable if it means seeing you.

21. We compare every other guy to you, and you always come out best.

22. We hate it when you go to discos without us.

23. We hate feeling as if we are like any other girl.

24. Don’t brag about other girls liking you, it just makes us insecure.

25. When we say everything is ‘fine’, it generally means everything is absolutely horrible and we are on the brink of falling to pieces.

26. Don’t just say ‘ok’ when we say we don’t want to talk about it.

27. If you want to know something about us, ask our best friend.

28. If you do not hug us, we will not kiss you.

29. We think you are the best guy in the world.

30.We. Will. Kill. You. If. We. See. You. Slow. Dancing. With. Another. Girl. Without. Telling. Us.

31. We really do want you to stick up for us.

32. Compliments. We love them.

33. Be on time. We will think you don’t care if you’re not on time at a certain place.

34. Whether you say (L) or luv or love does matter.

35. We don’t care if you couldn’t come on that date because of the most embarrassing reason in the world, just don’t lie to us.

36. We like cuddling up to you so let us.

37. Silent Treatment + Short Answers + Not Smiling or Laughing + Evil Looks = YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG.

38. You will be classed in our ‘Hate’ list if you forget our birthday.

39. Do not ask what’s wrong. We’ll never tell you we just want you to cuddle us.

40. You need to tell us what you think of us, we don’t make assumptions (apart from ‘OMG HE’S GONE OFF ME HASN’T HE?!’)

41. Telling us that we are pretty will mean absolute LOADS.

42. Do not make fun of us unless we are in a good mood. As insecure as girls go, we take these things very seriously.

43. If you do end up doing Number 42, you just have to hope we aren’t in a bad mood.

44. Saying something sweet MIGHT get you off the hook. Doing something sweet will ALWAYS get you off the hook.

45. We never forget things. Ever.

46. We over-analyze everything.

47. We over-react to everything.

48. When we are mad at you, we aren’t actually mad at you we just want you to apologize so we can start showing we like you again.

49. Please don’t stand 384931491329403 feet away from us. Even if we are scary.

50. Please acknowledge that when we are online when you sign in, we probably have waited ages for you to come online so please make it worthwhile.

51. We do not care if 50 000 other guys declared their love for us if you never do it none of it matters.

52. We don’t like being used.

53. We like it when you do un-expected nice things.

54. We usually don’t let just any guy make us cry, so if you make us cry, damn you must have done something bad…

55. This is the way it works: You don’t give us any attention, we dump you. It is NOT: You don’t give us any attention, we chase after you. Deal with it.

56. We like it when you are protective of us. It makes us feel special.

57. Unless she is a moronic idiot, a girl who truly loves you will love you for a long, long time.

58. When we come back from a holiday and brag about how awesome it was, during the entire time there we were probably thinking about you. A lot.

59. No matter where we are or what we are doing, we really want you to hold our hand.

60. And please for the love of god shut up about how fit other girls are. You know we like you and the fact you do this despite you knowing how we feel is just evil.

It's so true!!!!! :D

Take my hand, and let us take a step further

2010-05-06T23:57:00.003+08:00

"A picture speaks a thousand words."

AHH I HATE GETTING BACK RESULTS! D: BUT THANK GOODNESS EXAMS ARE OVERRR ((((((((((:

Because together, we can conquer the worst.

As a friend, not as an ex. Don't be like this! It hurts everyone and I can't do anything about it :(

We'll pray, things will get better

2010-04-29T22:27:00.002+08:00

Let's cross our fingers that you'll learn from this mistake,
that you'll take it as a challenge,
and that no matter what,
you'll never, ever,
give up!

I AM GOING TO FAIL EVERY SINGLE BLOCK TEST PAPER NEXT WEEK.
I CAN FEEEEEEEL IT IN MY BLOOD!!!

The glass is half full. Half full. Half full.

Where the world, must come together as one

2010-04-26T17:43:00.003+08:00

Credits: Nat bestie! <3 (:

I am so addicted to Nat's tumblr :) So many cool quotes! xo
I deleted my tagboard, now you guys can only comment on my posts :)

More exams are coming up,
I'm searching for a breather

Tell me, show me, let me feel
that life's good.

Open up your heart and make that difference

2010-04-11T16:31:00.001+08:00

The Starfish Story

One day a man was walking along the beach when he noticed
a boy picking something up and gently throwing it into the ocean.

Approaching the boy, he asked, “What are you doing?”

The youth replied, “Throwing starfish back into the ocean.
The surf is up and the tide is going out. If I don’t throw them back, they’ll die.”

“Son,” the man said, “don’t you realize there are miles and miles of beach and hundreds of starfish? You can’t make a difference!”

After listening politely, the boy bent down, picked up another starfish,
and threw it back into the surf. Then, smiling at the man, he said…

“At least I made a difference for that one.”

- credits to Rachel: http://yenping.tumblr.com (:

Some people take forever to have a moment like this

2010-04-03T19:47:00.005+08:00

Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't, and believe that everything happens for a reason! :)

...and I got to share it with you.

I have to STOP looking, stop stop stop because it's killing, killing and killing me inside.

Absolving happiness

2010-03-31T20:59:00.002+08:00

The sun is bright, the sky is blue, animals are sitting in the green, kids jumping, yelling, bouncing by the colourful rainbow.

LIFE'S GOOD

You make me smile like the sun

2010-03-28T21:16:00.003+08:00

You make me dance like a fool, spin like a record and forget how to breathe

Whoohoo! :D Yesterday & today was fun!! Yesterday was shopping day :)) Bought pretty ding dang stuff! Today Jamie & I went to Anne's house to do our Chemistry experiment BOY IT WAS MAJOR FUN! I think I almost peed in my pants (ANNE PEED) while laughing so hard!! I STABBED THE POOR LEMON DON'T KNOW HOW MANY TIMES CAN! Anne's house is major beautiful, okay! The decos are super sweeeeeeeeeet! :))) Now I wanna become a NUS professor and stay there!!

Oh no now I've become so ah lianxzxzxzxz. SCHOOL'S TOMORROW, BUT WHO CARES GOOD FRIDAYYYYYYYYY COMING UP SOON :D whoopee!

Happiness depends on how you look at it!

Life's beautiful.

2010-03-07T15:30:00.002+08:00

Learn to dance in the pouring rain.

OBS IS TOMORRROWWWW!
I don't know whether I should laugh or cry.
The only thing I'm looking forward to is the souvenir shopping at the end! :)

I haven't even packed my stuff. I think I still need to buy quite a lot of things.

It's hard to live without you telling me what my next step should be. "Over you" is more than just 2 words with 7 letters, it's me giving you up, deleting you from my memory which you've already been etched indelibly inside. It's me destroying one of my organs.
Which is why, it is impossible.

SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE!

2010-02-26T21:42:00.004+08:00

THIS IS SUCH AN AWESOME VIDEOOOOOOO IT IS SO INSPIRING!!! :D

Watch this too!!

YOU SHOULD REALLLLLLLLY WATCH BOTH OF THEM THEY ROCK THE WORLD ;DDDD

THIS SEASON CHARLIEEEEEEEE WON OMG I LOVE HER SHE ROCKSSSSSSS!!! :DDDDDDDD

I am so inspired to learn jazz right now and if I do I will never, ever give up.
I didn't realise how much I missed being tossed in the air, feeling on cloud-nine, dropped meticulously to convey the tragedy and sorrow. The adrenaline is breathtaking I AM GOING TO DROP EVERYTHING ELSE AND FOCUS ON TAKING UP DANCE TO A WHOLE NEW LEVEL.

Whoohoooooooo I'm addicted now!

I AM IN A GOOD GOOD MOOD :D

2010-02-19T15:05:00.004+08:00

Okay I am terribly sick but I am in an overwhelmingly superb mood.

I HAVE CLEARED MY MIND. I JUST FINISHED READING THIS BOOK I BOUGHT YESTERDAY - TWENTIES' GIRL. :D It made me realise many things, it made me leave you behind, most importantly, it enabled me to move on, and establishing a life for my once bleak, but now promising future.

No more reminiscing of the past, no more re-reading of your sweetened texts, I'm totally over you. After all, honey words must be substantiated with real actions. You don't spark me off as The One anymore, you're just there to attempt to sooth my worries by blocking them out, because you were never really interested, and yet it took me 4 years to comprehense this fact. You never wanted to solve these problems of mine, all you wanted was somebody you could manipulate in your control.

Well YIPEEEEEE I have woken up! :) I am living a very happy life!!!
GOOD RIDDANCE, BROTHER.

-xx-

I think the fever medicine is starting to take effect...

You know I'm talking about you

2010-02-13T12:19:00.001+08:00

You said move on
Where do I go
I guess second best
Is all I will know

Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into your eyes

You're like an Indian summer
In the middle of winter
Like a hard candy
With a surprise center
How do I get better
Once I've had the best
You said there's
Tons of fish in the water
So the waters I will test

He kissed my lips
I taste your mouth
He pulled me in
I was disgusted with myself

You're the best
And yes I do regret
How I could let myself
Let you go
Now the lesson's learned
I touched it I was burned
Oh I think you should know

-xx-

THIS LYRICS IS SOOOOOO TRUE!! :D

HAPPY CNYYYY AND VAL'S DAY EVERYBODYYYYYYYYYYYYY :)

Was your heart with you when you said forever & always?

2010-01-29T16:07:00.003+08:00

Love hurts. So I'm going to stay single till I'm 21.

-xx-

O.M.G. THE BOYS LIKE GIRLS CONCERT WAS SOOOOOOO AWESOME!!! CHAR AND I CARRIED EACH OTHER ON OUR SHOULDERS, I RAISED HER UP LIKE SO HIGH AND I THOUGHT MY SHOULDER BLADE SNAPPED BUT SHE WAS SO HAPPY UP THERE HAHA I FEEL SO BLISSFUL WHEN SHE'S HAPPY! :DDDDDDD O.M.G. WHEN CHARMAINE LIFTED ME I WAS LIKE, XYZOMG FAINTING BECAUSE MARTIN JOHNSON, HOT, GORGEOUS MARTIN JOHNSON CAUGHT MY EYE AND SMILEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!! :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

I thought I might faint. Their songs are so freaking amazing, Martin keeps on going, I LOVE YOU SINGAPORE!!!!!!!!! I think Paul DiGiovanni is super beautiful, too :) haha! And we got a picture with Duane, Tabitha and one other Singapore Idol Top 10! :D AND OMG WE SCREAMED, TABBY I LOVE YOUUU, to which she turned around, gave us a kiss and waveddd!!! :)))))))

CLASS BREAKFASTTT WAS AWESOME!!! :DD Xyzomg I love 314! <3>I think I might start to fall for you.

It's... Complicated.

2010-01-25T20:54:00.002+08:00

Why do things have to be so complicated?
I see the way you're acting like somebody else gets me frustrated.

Because when you said Forever & Always,
I fell deep, right into your trap.

Shouts and screams of no, you're making the wrong decision fills my head every now and then, I don't know which advice I should heed.

You don't even come here, anyway.

-xx-

P6 CAMP IS TIRINGGGGGGGGGGG XYZOMG!!! The little primary sixes DO NOT LISTEN AT ALL. You have to repeat your instructions ten million times and they only get like, 1/10000000 of what you said.

And now they think that my hwachong buddy and I are dating. And when I bull-shitted after getting frustrated by their questions, I said that yes, we're getting married next month.

Extraordinarily, they bought it, well wrapped around my beautiful stick of crap. Honestly, bull-shitting requires skill. But oh shizyz, now they want us to hug. And he's Sec 2. I really miss my primary school days.

You are my only

2010-01-10T13:28:00.003+08:00

Stuck on a rollercoaster,
can't get off this ride...

You made me in every way mesmerized,
still I feel as though I'm treading on thin ice.
I don't know if you mean what you say,
you're controlling the speed, the direction of my heart beat.

I want to say no, I want to say you're too fast,
but I don't want, and I can't afford to lose this.
You've captured me,
so deeply, so entranced.

I know one day this will all stop,
it's as though I'm on the scariest roller coaster,
I know what's coming, but I don't have the ability to stop it.
It may be enjoyable, it may be exhilarating,
and yet so threatening.

The scariest part of it all is that I don't know when it's going to stop,
and whether you, me, or someone else will be the one ruining the joy of the ride.
Or worse still, will we be caught, suspended in mid air,
then finally wrenched from our dreamland to a demonishing place known as reality?

You spin my head right round, right rounnddd ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

2010-01-05T17:25:00.002+08:00

Thanks to you,
I am not lonely anymore.

The future is in our hands now. :)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! :D

2010-01-01T12:44:00.003+08:00

Yesterday was majorrr fun, or rather TODAY was majorrr fun :D

Champagne just tastes especially good on New Year's. My family hung out with the other families from our Africa tour group, from 7pm to 1.30am :))) It was so exciting, we had an indonesian dinner that was soo cool, played loads of games like Taiti, Charades, Taboo, Cheat, some hand slapping game that made me laugh till my friend was screaming for me to go into the toilet before I wet my pants.

I forgot what else made me laugh so hard but all I know is, that amazing party and the afternoon huge family (with cousins and etc) party made me welcome 2010 with more laughter, more hopes and even better dreams. And I think that this year, I must smile more, be more open and enjoy myself to the fullest, even over the littlest of things. I musn't get angry or pissed off, and must not be too stressed even though I'm gonna be the lousiest in the whole class.

Be more optimistic, that will be my goal. And stop spending money, that's my second. Although I learnt this new awesome phrase: "Shopping doesn't make the world go round. Shopping makes the ride worthwhile."

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE OUT THERE, THANKS SO MUCH TO SO MANY PEOPLE WHO HAVE WISHED ME, EVEN BEFORE THE REAL NEW YEAR'S :D Sorry that I can't send to every single one of you, and sorry if even you sent but I forgot to reply, but you guys are still the awesome-est. :) Wo ai ni men!!! Hen duo, hen duo!!! <33 xoxo

EEEEEEEEKK!!!

2009-12-30T13:59:00.002+08:00

THERE IS A BOYS LIKE GIRLS CONCERT IN SINGAPORE ON THE 28TH OF JANUARYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY :D :D :D :D :D :D

I am going crazyyyyyyyyyy!!! Nat bestie is so awesome, she was telling me that one day, Boys Like Girls will sure come to Singapore and we'll go together!!! :))))))))))

This is ssooooooo exciting!!! Although my parents haven't exactly agreed to buy the most expensive ticket, they agreed to let me go so waitttttt, one step at a time. EEEEEK I AM STILL SO EXCITED!!! :))

After the whole morning till now, I am only halfway through my Math mindmap. And it is looking crap. I still have my LA compooooo :((((((((((((

My life is so horrible I don't like 2010. I just know that I am going to be the bottom of the class and I would probably commit suicide by taking sleeping pills and never wake up the next morning.

Interesting, but nah. This post is rubbish and I feel discouraged but let's just cross our fingers and hope that a miracle will happen.

I always said I hated dogs, because you know they freak me out by the fact that they BITE. Now I kind of like this dog that my dad's friend's daughter has, it's a teacup poodle and she's called Pillows!!!!!!!! How sweet is that :))))) She keeps on biting my sock (in the end I gave it to her) and I love brushing her hair it's like oooohhhh you know when you're young you comb Barbie's hair??? And you really enjoy it??? THAT'S THE EXACT SAME FEELING!!! :D

In addition, her teeth are soooooo tinnyyy even if she bites your arm it doesn't hurt at all, it's only really ticklish!!! She is so cuteeeeee and so prettyyyyyyyyyy but I must stop dreaming 'cos my mum said never in a million years she'll buy a dog. So I have to wait till I'm old and living with my friends or something. So sadd. I miss Pillows :( And I didn't get a picture of her!!! That's even sadder.

Yesterday was CCA!!! I really missed my good old calli mates they are so awesome and funnyyy :) Although they are really mean when they make fun of me, but. THEY ARE JUST SOOOOO GOOD FRIENDS, YOU KNOW! I love them all muaxxxzyzyzyyzyz. Even more than I love Pillows!!!

Okay. 2010. Here I comeeeeeeee.

I'm not gonna wait for you, anymore.

2009-12-16T10:57:00.003+08:00

How can I put it, you put me on
I even fell for that stupid love song
Yeah, yeah, since you been gone
How come I'd never hear you say
I just wanna be with you
Guess you never felt that way

But since you been gone
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so movin' on, yeah, yeah
Thanks to you, now I get, I get what I want
Since you been gone

You had your chance, you blew it
Out of sight, out of mind
Shut your mouth, I just can't take it
Again and again and again and again

-xx-

Few extraordinary things that happened in New Zealand (rambling @ the top of my head):

I swam with dolphins and they brushed past me.
I can ride a horse.
I can drive a car.
I know how to dance at dances, and got hooked up by guys.
I had an amazing Kiwi birthday party!!
I love spa pools.
I am addicted to Glee.
I love watching movies.
I know how Paige reacts when a guy asks her out.
I know that kissing ain't that hard.
Paige's house's toilet has a gigantic window right in front of the shower head, a.k.a. anyone that walks past can see me when I'm bathing.
I had to sleep with 5 layers of t-shirts and winter jackets, 2 layers of long pants, a glove, a hat, a scarf and two duvets.
I walked and climbed 12km of hills filled with cow and sheep poo and mud, I even trudged through jungles and almost got myself killed.
I slept in a tent. It was raining, muddy and horrible.
I showered once in 3 days at a very gross camp.
I wore my muddy, wet and disgusting shoes for 3 days.
I made good friends with people who have sex on a regular basis. Got enough of their stories.
I just might marry a New Zealander. That sells chairs. (Because they are hot. Soo incredibly hot. Even Paige's mum thinks so.)
I wore a bikini.
I drunk New Zealand beer and it is disgusting. Horrendous. I reeked of beer the whole day 'cos I spilled it all over my body.
I wore jandals (flip flops) to school. And rolled my skirt 5 times.
I never thought Christmas presents include G-strings.
I know how to bake! And what a skewer is.
I flew up 5 stories high and screamed till my lungs burst.
I did trust fall.
I know how to cook spaghetti.
I managed to turn off the cooking stove without burning the house down.
I know how to play cricket.
I am in love with Timezone and sticky photos.
Paige is insane.
I made very very good friends!!!
I saw sheeps! And cows! And horses! And bulls! And lots of bees!!!
New Zealand food are so expensive! One plate of Chicken Rice costs you $10.90. And you are not even in a restaurant.
New Zealand people are so friendly, they say good morning to the bus driver and thank you as they leave.
I know what green milk is: healthy milk, not milk that is green in colour.
Paige forced me to do something I thought I'd never do, and it was all because of He's just not that into you. (Which after, she gave me a brand new DVD as my birthday present.)
I left tons of clothes, books and souvenirs at Paige's dad's house.
I became more vulgar.
I got used to the cold after a while. And realised how hot Singapore is!!
My luggage did not exceed the weight limit. All the heavy things went into my back pack and I had to go for a shoulder massage the minute I landed.
My parents called me every single night and if my phone was turned off, they would call Paige's house and wake the whole family up just because they were "worried" that "something happened to me" as they did not hear from me for ONEEE night.
My brother, who said he was happy to see me go, left me 3 voice messages on the FIRST day to say "I miss you" and "I love you". Honestly, I didn't feel the same way.
I got home sicked every time I think of my family's faces. And I only cried like thrice when I was there!! I am such a big big girl.
Paige's mum cried so hard when I left. I think Paige did, too!!! (Although she keeps on saying she didn't and had to rush me to get into the plane.)
I became a baby sitter on the plane and helped this 9 year old (who was travelling alone) open her breakfast, get her luggage down countless times, visit the bathrooms... Set up movies... Man. But she's really cute and she reminds me of my lil bro.
I sat on business class for the price of economy's. Because I was an unaccompanied minor.
I realised that over there, not many people have expensive phones, they all have simple ones and are not allowed to use them while they are in school, not even during lunches.
They have one shop that sells food in the whole gigantic school.
I broke my slipper and had to walk through a museum with one slipper.
I learnt that boyfriends can kidnap their girlfriends if they get emotionally, physically and mentally protective and that really, really, freaks me out.

I can't think of anymore right now :( I won't post any pictures here, too tired... Go see them on Facebook! :)

Toodles, I'm leaving tonight, midnight flight!!! Whoo so exciting, I'm gonna hug a lion.

That day, I was daring.

2009-12-12T16:10:00.003+08:00

Guess this means youre sorry
Youre standing at my door
Guess this means you take back
All you said before

Like how much you wanted
Anyone but me
Said youd never come back
But here you are again

Cause we belong together now
Forever united here somehow
You got a piece of me
And honestly
My life would suck without you

Maybe I was stupid for telling you goodbye
Maybe I was wrong for tryin to pick a fight
I know that Ive got issues
But youre pretty messed up too
Either way, I found out Im nothing without you

Cause we belong together now
Forever united here somehow
You got a piece of me
And honestly
My life would suck without you

Being with you is so dysfunctional
I really shouldnt miss you
But I cant let you go

Cause we belong together now
Forever united here somehow
You got a piece of me
And honestly
My life would suck without you

Cause we belong together now
Forever united here somehow
You got a piece of me
And honestly
My life would suck without you

-xx-

I CAN DRIVE!!! :D If you think driving an automatic car is easy, think again.
I have a video!!! Maybe I will upload it sometime, please mute before you play it: you might hear Paige screaming "I am going to die!" unneccessarily in the background.

I MISS THEM ALREADY :'( Gotta go, will blog about New Zealand sometime! :D

GOODBYE SINGAPORE :'(

2009-11-21T09:35:00.002+08:00

I am ADDICTED to Sonny With a Chance.

And I am leaving Singapore tomorrow. I feel scared, worried but yet super duper excited. I feel like I'm on a roller coaster, I can't stop it from happening, I am scared of thrills, yet I still want to feel the exhilaration.

This blog is gonna be dead for 3 weeks.
Toodles :)

I'm trying to let you go

2009-11-17T08:37:00.002+08:00

I throw all of your stuff away
then I clear you out of my head
I tear you out of my heart
and ignore all your messages
I tell everyone we are through
cause I'm so much better without you
but its just another pretty lie
cause I break down everytime you come around

You never know what you want
and you never say what you mean
but I start to go insane
everytime that you look at me
you only hear half of what i say
and your always showing up too late
and I know that I should say
goodbye but its no use
can't be with or without you

-xx-

I don't know why I keep on lying to you, I don't know why I can't bear to see you with someone else. I don't know why I keep thinking of you.

This is so insane I feel like smashing my phone. They say feelings die off, they slowly fade away. They're all liars, it's been so long, why does this feeling still linger?

I always tell myself I'm getting over you, but every question still has you in. I say I'm fine, but I never think about you though you're always on my mind.

P.S. HE added me on msn!

-xx-

To my best friend in the whole wide world:

Don't be sad anymore, I love you and you are my pretty sunshine. You are everyone else's, too! Look around you, how many people care about you - family, friends, even guys that do so much as pass by you probably has this huge crush on you, you know those like, I-saw-you-once-and-instantly-I-knew-you're-the-one kind of thing. :)

I love the bees (heard you're a bee ;)),
I love the daffodils,
I like the mountains,
I like the orange (favourite colour :D) hills,
I love my Natalie,
you'll never walk alone.

Life is all about obstacles. Be strong!!!!!! I know you are!!! <33333333333
You're my darling bao bei, you're a hpy to some people, you're the bees to some flowers, you're the leader in npcc! You lead people with your joy, you make people love you, and it's okay, things, feelings like this really goes away! (Only affairs of the heart don't, sadly, haha!) I love you, okay! You've gone through it before, I know you can, again! Trust me, you're not the only one that has to go through these kind of things, everybody has!!! Just that they try to hide it and "be cool", but you don't!!! See how many people care for you, 我爱你！

因为有你，世界就有声有色、完美、充满乐趣。你是大家的最爱，大家的宝贝，你善良，有魅力，而非常美丽！！！加油，千万不能放弃哦！

Pardon my chinese, bestie >< I'm really 班门弄斧-ing!!!

-xx-

MALACCA WAS AWESOME AND I LOVE 209'09!!!
Tired to post about it, if you want to read, go weiyu's blog she has a very extremely detailed version of Malacca's trip :) Just a few things I wanna say:

Super memorable - many many ahem incidents that happens on the bus, and i will not experience it again
Super extremely fun :) 20909 rock!!!
Super extremely funny :D
Super extremely crazy
I will really miss 209... :(

-xx-

OMG! NZ's in like, 4 days :O I feel like fainting... 3 weeks w/o family & friends in Singapore! :( What if I cry man... Haha I have not started packing, shixzxzxzx and I still got loads of things to buy!!! I went to buy a super expensive winter jacket that I actually have, it' just a different design. And I fought with my whole family because they didn't allow me to buy it at first. I think I need to learn to be thrifty... :( I am really making my parents hard earned money to go waste!!! Although the jacket reallyyyyy looksss damnnn fabulousss!!!

I wanna watch 2012! But my dad wants to watch the dunnowhat ninja thing. I hope I win the 2012 one!!! 'cos anyway since I'm leaving (boohoo) he should let me choose. And my mum wants 2012 too! I wanna watch Love Happens before it runs out!!! :O

O.M.G. what am i babbling about... I just hope Nat feels better because I am feeling sad for her too :( This is just nonsense you can stop reading now... I feel so sad nobody tags here anymoreee :( I really like Boys Like Girls.

P.P.S. Although he may not be that shuai I think I'm looking forward to talk to him OMG THERE IS SERIOUSLY SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME!!!

Byebye people! This will probably be the last post before I leave... I WANT TO KISS MY FLOOR GOODBYEEE... 3 weeks, OHMYGOOSE!!!

Yesterday, ♥

2009-11-07T10:59:00.003+08:00

Well we got so much in store
tell me what is it im reaching for
when were through building memories ill hold yesterday in my heart
in my heart.

they can take tomorrow and the plans we made
they can take the music that we never play
all the broken dreams take everything
just take it away, but they can never have yesterday
they can take the future that we'll never know
they can take the places that we said we will go
all the broken dreams take everything
just take it away, but they can never have yesterday.

-xx-

209'2009, we had so much troubles, so much fight between us to get the best. People once said, shouldn't 209 be bonded, after all we all have something in common: Music. Shouldn't we? I heard others saying that on their last day of school, everyone was cheering - they were happy, ecstatic, that school has ended and that they won't see each other again. What about us - people were crying, people felt heartbreaks, there were people leading the way, to cheer one last time for 209. And I think we don't have to compare with the other classes, we don't have to see their exterior of love portrayed, because we know that deep down, many people feel the same way. And maybe, like Ji Laoshi said, because we learn music, we aren't that open to share our love and let our voices be heard.

The most important thing is: We know that we care.

The last day of school was fantastic, it ended better than I thought it would. I thought it would be like any other normal school day, but it wasn't. I think the post-exam activities made us more bonded, regardless of anything else. They always say that the more fights in a relationship, the stronger the bond. Maybe that really works for us. Drama fest'09 played an important role in making us feel as one, too!! I remember this person, who never really talked to me, came up and high-fived me when we got into the finals. The look on her face, depicted from the love for our class, allowed happiness to implode into my mind. So what if we didn't win, we don't need a freaking paper to remind us of the hard work we put in. What we need is the memories, because a paper can be destroyed, but our memories are able to stay, etched indelibly in our minds.

Although we had many ups and downs, I'm proud to say that I'm from TWO ZERO NINE. And I don't need all of us to be a legacy, I just want our smiles to brighten up walkways when we pass each other, the simple "hello, how are you?" will do, in fact it will be fantastic.

When we win prizes for our class, 209, we cheer, scream and holler.
Why?
It is not only because we feel proud that we're in the class with the ability to win awards,
it is not only because we are trying to paint a picture of us being enthusiastic, overpowering the rest.
It is because we know that each and every one of the 209-ians played roles, however significant of insignificant, to achieve this standard that bonds us together, that makes us the incredible 209'2009♥, that enable us to feel as one, and that is what that creates a wonderful picturesque of memory that nobody, but us, can capture.

They can take away our future, but they can never, ever, get hold of our yesterday.

-xx-

PSL WAS FUN :D xyzomg! We totally had a huge bitching session and everyone got so excited listening to me talk. Although most of the time I was exaggerating, they thoroughly enjoyed it! WE SO HAVE TO HAVE A BITCH @ THE BEACH OUTINGGGGGG!!! I love PSL♥!! It's the L-O-V-E baby. Eunice & I had a fantastic time tricking them with our lame games until Cheryl Choo was so freaking pissed she went to tell everybody who played, REMEMBER IT'S BERNICE GOH WHO CAME UP WITH THIS, THIS IS BERNICE GOH'S JOKE. HAHAHA!

-xx-

I'll miss the lame The Cool. I really will. :( It's been awesome with you guys, your lame jokes really spiked up my day!!! During LA lessons, especially, when we all sit with each other. Even when serious gigantic problems cropped up, we'll still be all, it's okay and will even cover it with many jokes to brighten up the atmosphere. I LOVE THAT!!! And although I'm always the helper, Fatimah, I still loved everything ♥!! I MISS YOU ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLXYZ.

& can you believe it, I still don't know what I'm gonna take next year. Should I take that option?? I am so indecisive.

Malacca is gonna be awesome, and I will not let anything get in the way of it being one of my best memories, in that invisible 209'2009 album we keep in our hearts.
I'LL MISSSSSSSS YOU ALLL DARLINGS!!! :'(

A Photogenic Life

2009-10-30T20:46:00.004+08:00

Why are we always trying to pose for the best posture for the camera, when we know that we can never change reality?

Why do we always thank the cashier who passes us our change in the supermarket, the taxi driver who provided us a route to quick journey, and yet always forgetting to thank the person who is always next to us, waiting for our acknowledgements?

Maybe it's not how the world looks at you, but how you look at the world.

-xx-

We watched "The Sixth Sense". Everyone, except Chew Ling, had watched it before, but after Chew Ling insisted on watching this award-winning movie, we chartered to her request and before the start of the film, we began to give spoilers.

An hour later, at eleven, my father came back, his tie rounding his neck like a scarf. He almost thought that he had gotten into the wrong house until he saw me sitting between Pat and Sian Min.

"Wow, a gathering. Nice." he said and locked the door. "Let me see." he started to count us with his finger. "Seven of you. My car can only sit four, but if you don't mind squeezing and if you don't mind me speeding away from the Traffic Police, stay till as long as you want. I'm not sleeping tonight as there's a UEFA Champions League match, so I can fetch you teenagers home." He moved towards Chew Ling and tapped her head like a little girl. "You're so small, I think you can fit into the boot. Which primary school are you in?"

Chew Ling smiled at my father and thanked him. When he was in the bathroom, Chew Ling crawled towards me and said, "Your father is a good man."

I just nodded, dismissed what she commented as polite. Chew Ling draped her elbow beside me and muttered, "The UEFA Champions League ended last month. There's no English Premier League match, or any Spanish La Lagi match tonight. Basically, there's not a single football match tonight. Maybe softball or netball, but definitely no soccer."

Many things we do are unconsciously supported by our parents, no matter how insignificant their contribution is, they are the ones that are constantly shaping our lives to ensure that we do not live a life full of regrets, to enhance the joy we have in living a non-perfect, however blissful life that keeps the smile on our face, not plastered, not glued, but as though it's a part of our facial features.

-xx-

"I cannot laugh."

"Why?"

"When I was in Primary Three, I laughed and went to the hospital. I thought it was just asthma then. Then, a few days later, I laughed and felt breathless again. In the end, I tried not to laugh. My mother was very sad. She said, 'how can a person not laugh in her life?'. I told her it can be done.

"I told her I cannot laugh,but I can smile. So I keep on smiling. My Primary School classmates all called me 'Smiley Face'."

~~~

I could no longer hold them. I shut my eyes, tight, and waterfalls of salty, hot tears seeped down my eyes. My nose turned watery and the moment I opened my eyes, the world blurred up, blinding my vision. It was better that way, I didn't have to see Chew Ling's grinning million-dollar smile that plunged a knife deep into my heart.

"I've got bad news."

When Mr. Chou said the next sentence, a rush of cold blood imploded in my heart, then flowed its way crushingly into my head and the image in my mind was just a small little girl with two plates of chicken rice in front of her. The whole class gasped and then those who had been holding their tears gave up their fight.

"Tan Chew Ling passed away this morning at 1.55a.m. due to massive hemoptysis."

~~~

"I'm so likeable, everyone's gonna cry when I die! Tell you what, Linda, let's make a bet. If more than a hundred people cry when I die, I win. If less than a hundred people cry when I die, you win. You cool with it? Then again, you can't see me die because I think I'll outlive you!"

~~~

I slotted my hand into my bag and felt the perfect photo of the digitally modified pimple-less Chew Ling that I had printed. Just yesterday, before I went to sleep, I had mentally rehearsed what I wanted to say to Chew Ling today: I will go up to her, take out the photo inside my bag, pass it to her and then say, "Hey, thank you. You don't know what a great help you have been to me. Knowing you..."

... was the best thing to occur in my life.

Thank you.

-xx-

It's been ages since I last cried during, finishing the book and even after the book has been closed. Shedding tears for something that's merely fiction does not simply reflect on how well the author has managed to portray a vivid picture of particular characters, instead it shows how you, as a reader, reflects on your actions and relates them to the protagonist or antagonist that made you feel the way you're feeling.

Jodi Picoults don't make you cry. They don't have the ability.

What we need is the everyday novels, the stories told my our local writers, because they know how we think that the world revolves around us, because they feel the way we do, because they comprehend the way we ogle at branded materials.

Simply because, we care about how the world looks at us, we yearn for recognition, we grasp for the highest position that all regards.

But, it takes time to realise that the real winner of the day isn't the award-winning artiste who achieves all the awards, stealing the spotlight. Instead, the true winner is the person who knows that contentment in life is what is important, and she is the one who has support, not as many as the high-achiever, but from people that are more worthwhile, from people that wishes her all the best from the bottom of their hearts.

I LOVE EVERYBODY IN THE WORLD!

2009-10-26T19:51:00.003+08:00

I L.O.V.E. MY FRIENDS!

I realise true friends stick together no matter what happens.
True friends don't buy others' stories, true friends believe nobody else but each other, and only each other.

I just want to thank you guys for making me realise this - you guys know who you are.
And I love you all, and I regret not creating history with you guys earlier, I regret not going high for no rhyme or reason after the moment I was born.

Long story short, you guys bring vibrant colours to my life and I don't think I could survive this without you all. :)

-xx-

GROUP K!
You guys make me feel so horribly terrible that all of you have dedicated at least 2 posts to GROUP K specially and I have only one. And you guys constantly sms me about GROUP K and GROUP K and GROUP K and nothing else but GROUP K and GROUP K.

I do not have time to blog here, but I just wanna show my gratitude to all of you for creating a memory so vividly wonderful that it'll stay, etched indelibly and I don't want to forget any one of you.

REMEMBER TO LET ME BE YOUR BRIDESMAID! You guys will all be mine!!! I will somehow somewhere squeeze you in :D WHOOTS GROUP K, LIVE ON BABIES.

-xx-

I don't want to tell you to go and die. I don't need to.
I don't even want to wish that you didn't exist.
Just that, if I could change everything over,
if I could ask God how to plan my life,
I wouldn't mind being poverty-stricken, I wouldn't mind being lesbian,
if that is what it takes to live my life without you.

:(

2009-10-24T12:07:00.004+08:00

There's a kind of hush,
all over the world.

Memories last a lifetime. The memories of our happy days have been tarnished, like a broken photograph. You gave me a present, a frame, remember? I've printed a photograph of you and me using my printer. It's beside my bed, and I look at it before I sleep, every night, without fail. Now, I feel like taking it out and throwing it into the bin. Not because I hate you, not because I dislike you, but because I don't want to feel the hurt every time your smile and my hand over your shoulder grins back at me, haunting my dreams.

I think there are endless apologies for me to say. At this point of time, I think Thank You would be the best. Thank you, for letting me realise that you hated me. Thank you, for letting me know what you think of me.

Thank you, for giving me a chance to stop acting like a fool by smiling at you, laughing with you, and leaving tags on your blog. Thank you, for erasing all memories I have of you, for the unhappy ones have replaced the good ones, and left it even.

The hush settled, disputes broken,
by the post that left all triumphant,
but one shattered.

GROUP K - POTASSIUM!!! ♥♥♥

2009-10-24T10:01:00.006+08:00

HELLO EVERYBODY :D

xyzomg it's been ages since I last posted! HAHA OKAY ANYWAY I'M HERE TO TALK ABOUT PSL CAMP!!!!!!!!! eunice♥♥ & i were like enjoying camp esp at night when we talked till wee hours in the morning! hahaha and she sleeps so adorably :D :D her head went all the way to my hand there! i wanted to pat her head and give her my pillow but 'cos she was sleeping so comfortably and soundly i didn't want to wake her :x SO ANYWAY!!! WE HAD LOADS OF FUNN CAMWHORING TOO :D

I LOVE MY GROUPPPPPP (K POTASSIUM) IT ROCKS EVERYONE'S SOCKS!!! It's the coolest group everrr, although during ice-breaking it was kind of awkward but later, we kept on ganging up to go against our adorable, amazing and breathtaking group leader - LINSHA!!! hahaha I think her anger management classes taught her very well.

MY GROUP CONSISTS OF: from Sec 3 to Sec 1
Linsha, Lingting, Shannon, Yours truly, Kylee, Etsuko, Jingwen, Yuanmin

WE'RE ALL PEBBLES AND STONES, FOR WE ROCK :D
omg i am so lame... HAHA during the camp (esp. during dinner when the food was horrid) we crapped a lot and laughed at super lame jokes!!! mostly contributed by me hahaha after lingting heard the jooookkkkeeeee joke she was so shocked at my lame-ness that she pushed my head!! hahaha it was so funny!

ETSUKO'S LAME JOKE:
What did Chair A say to Chair B?
Ans: Nothing, 'cos chairs can't talk.

What did Sushi A say to Sushi B?
My guess: Sushi cannot talk.
Ans: What's up, B? (WASABI ._.)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAA. okay and I told many many lame jokes! And everybody had their fair contributions too and yuanmin (who's normally very quiet) started laughing like crazy at our jokes too!!! (mostly at mine HAHAH KIDDING)

anyway! amazing race was funnnnn! we spent like 1 hour on lunch ahhahah! while everybody went around desperately finding stuff. OMG I LOVE LINGTING LAH OKAY SHE'S SO FUNNYYY. and kylee was so cute at the night trail! she was soo scared and she kept on hugging me hahahha when the super scary mask woman came!! WALAO THEN WHEN LINGTING AND I WAS ASKING LINSHA WHO'S IN THE MASK STOOOPID LINSHA WENT, "huh? what mask what mask?" BUT SHE WAS TRYING SOO HARD NOT TO SMILE SO WE COULD TELL SHE WAS SO FAKING IT!!! :@ Qi si ren ah!

hahahahaha but I think our group bonded loads in the night trail, that's why we got the prize for winner at the night trail!! whooooots! but lingting was damn sad we won for that 'cos she wanted maggi mee as the prize ._. and we got kongguan biscuits (given all to linsha) and really cute halloween magnets!!! I LOVE THE CUP GAMEE THE SUCK MARBLES ONE!!! linsha is so pathetic she can't suck them! so I got really fed up and took the marbles from the cup and passed it to the other HAHAHAHAHA. then linsha was like, "that was what yuanming will do!" Apparently kylee & linsha thinks I talk, do and don'tknowwhat like yuanming!!! OH THANKS TO EUNICE I KNOW WHO SHE IS NOW!!! :D

We were all signing autographs like crazyyy! I think I signed very big :x BUT ANYWAY IT WAS SO FUN!! we passed around our camp booklets and like we started writing crap!! i signed by big awesome name everywhere and told all of them i love them! I JUST CAN'T WAITTT FOR SEC 1 ORIENTATION!!! we're gonna have tons of fun and crazy bonding time together again!!!

Linsha - The Best Pest (haha she's so poor thing always kenna by us!!! our cheer has her being a pest in it! but in the end we were so nice when she went to collect the prize we went all, LINSHA, WE LOVE YOU!!!)

Lingting - The Tortoise (did I mention that she's super duper slow in everything especially in getting lame jokes, but it's not because she's cool HAHAHAH NO LAH SHE'S MY COOLEST DARLING♥)

Shannon - The Experienced (she lost very badly in 10 fingers 'cos she has been to so many places and done so many things!)

Bernice - The Les (IDK WHY I AM CALLED THE LES I JUST HUG PEOPLEE. shannon gave me a hello panda so i went all, yay thank you want a kiss? then straightaway she went all EEE NO NO. hurt my feelings! D:)

Kylee - The Nonono Cutie! (hahaha she never fails to say "nonono" and shake her hands very violently haha! she's also very scared of linsha :O plus she's soo cute and suaku!!! her first time taking the MRT was on thursday ._.)

Etsuko - The Brainiac (W/o her we wouldn't even pass the amazing race! SHE'S SO SMART XYZOMG SHE FIGURED OUT ALL THE CLUES BY HERSELF! hahaha she's like wheeeee super good at lyric writing :D)

Jingwen - Water Games Pro! (Kylee keeps on sticking to her!!! hahaha she is so funny too! she's like AWESOME at water games zomg! :D hahah we keep on cheering for her like crazy!)

Yuanmin - Awesome Dancer! (She's a damn cool dancer who helped us at xiaoen's station with her amazing moves! Go girl! :D)

I LOVE GROUP KKKKKKKKKKKKK, EVERYTHING OKAY!!! POTASSIUM WHOOOOOOTSXZXZXZXZXZ :D

Top to bottom, left to right: Jingwen, Linsha, Kylee, Shannon, Etsuko, Bernice, Lingting
(P.S. LINSHA & KYLEE ARE STANDING TOGETHER, EVEN HUGGING HAHAHHA LOOKS LIKE THEY'RE OKAY NOW :D :D)

GROUP K, THE MOST SPECTACULAR GROUP EVER!

Bad day

2009-09-17T22:09:00.006+08:00

I feel like crap.
I feel like I'm rolling down hill and heading into a bottomless black pit.
I miss my friends. Bad.

I don't want to be so kind to you anymore. The only "skill" that you ever can succeed in is treading on others' toes and receiving benefits for your own selfish needs, putting on a front that shows that you care for the whole world.

Who are you kidding?
Not me, anyway.

Sympathy isn't enough.

2009-09-07T19:04:00.006+08:00

Remember the days, we set out together with faith. We struggled through the darkest storms, living in poverty and scraping for a sense of life.

Uncle gave you everything he had, including his younger days for you to have a better life full of prosperity. You're a well-known doctor, earning more than enough for you and your family. You don't have to give him a luxurious life full of branded atmospheres, the least you can do for your father is to ensure that he has money to survive, to enjoy his last days.

Yet here he is, selling tissue packets for ten years now. He goes from table to table, perseverance being a part of him, begging for cash in exchange for his heavy and bulky goods. Losing face is one thing, suffering with trembling hands, throbbing veins and limping legs is another. I distinctively remember him coming towards my table once, tripping ever so slightly on the uneven ground, with weak shaking hands extended the neatly tied tissue packets together. His hands were full of rough and wrinkled folds of skin, cradling them into an old crumpled ship, sinking to reach for more packets in his squeaky trolley. He moved his mouth with an expressible amount of effort and asked me to buy, to support his survival. To my utter dismay, I had no money, and I had to turn him down. The look of disappointment and weariness stirred my heart, exploding it into a thousand shattered fragments. As he thronged away with an obvious limp, I was determined to amend it right.

When my mother came back, I got money from her, sprinted towards Uncle. I stopped short in front of him, panting slightly, watching him politely persuading a couple to buy. I placed the golden coin into his outstretched palm, smiling, grinning, from ear to ear. He reached, with quivering hands, itching inch by inch into the trolley, stretching with all his might for the deeply buried tissues. Instinctively, I said, "Uncle, 不用纸巾." Abruptly, I turned away, sudden springs erupting from my steps, sending a wave of thrill vibrating through my body.

At first, silence throbbed the air.
Seconds later, a faint voice from behind:
"Uncle, 我们也不用纸巾."

-xx-

I KNOW WHAT I'VE BEEN MISSING, WHAT I'VE BEEN DEPRIVED OF.
Shopping. Expensively.
I've never done that in a million years. The feeling of exorbitant cashmere flowing through your skin and the thrill of seeing countless clothes that will belong to you in seconds running through the cash register sends you to cloud-nine.
The best part is, you're not the one paying.

Final product? W.O.W. It has always been, out with friends, having holes in your pockets and throwing yourself into piles of debt. I'm out of that, it's the bags and bags of happiness that welcomes me now. Shopping and beaming at yourself in the mirror just fills your mind with glee. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I'M SOOOOOOO ELATED I CAN CRY.

Okay, Bernice, CHILL. Yesterday was full of fun! My mum and I walked into the Gents'. And even after my mum told me time and again that it's my fault, I don't agree. It's hers. She looked at my shirt (yeah I asked her to do that, but not to the extent that she forgets where she's going). As a result, my mum and I were aimlessly walking, but somewhere deep in my mind, I am indistinctly aware that we are somehow heading towards the wrong direction. Seeing my dad pulling up his pants (ew yes omg) confirmed my suspicion. At first, my mum and I stared, rooted to the spot, oblivious. Until my dad yelled, "Oi! Get out!"

HAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAH YEEEEEEES. My mum was like, Thank God it isn't some lao ah pei. Yep, gross content. Sorry for not warning xD But anyway, I'm so used to the atmosphere of being in a guys toilet since in CCA we often go there :D

THIS POST IS LONG ENOUGH. I love you guys, byebye!
BTW. You guys should so go to Fox <3!
BEST CLOTHES THIS SEASON WHOOOOOOPS!

Remember the days

2009-09-06T11:40:00.005+08:00

Don't be afraid to smile.

Last tuesday was a good day! Went out with Natalie♥ to ion! At first I got lost, but thank heavens nat is such a good director :D haha! Anyway, we were both wearing our couple ring necklaces!! Everybody was staring at me on the MRT; they must be thinking, "Wow, this girl sure loves her 'boyfriend' a lot!" Nat got me to love Japanese food! I have to admit, the rice with the egg is delicious! We crapped a lot during lunch, with nat telling me that she performed for teachers' day!!! O: WOW! What a shame I couldn't watch it :( Oh well! We watched The Proposal! The proposal is a very touching show, it pulls at your heart-strings when you least expect it. Both nat and I were tearing at the scene where Margaret Tates goes all, "You don't want to be with me." And the amazing thing is, the show is so cleverly set to crack you up when you're crying. Nat & I bought couple tees of Starbucks Coffee! :D Which I am wearing now, haha! Later, we went to shop at Uniqlo! :D I bought a black skirt, after persuasion from nat dear! I was supposed to save money, but it turns out that nat has the exact same one! :D SO COOL, we have the same taste!!

When it was time to part, it was really sad. But! We enjoyed ourselves and that's all that matters :)

-xx-

With all of my heart, I will care.

I counted, I actually eat 8 meals a day! Not to mention huge meals. It's no wonder I'm fat.

家好月圆, Moonlight Resonance, is a touching comedy! It tugs at your weakest points and opens the gates to enable your tears to trickle down, to the extent that you don't even have time for tissues. It sums up all of our everyday life happenings into an unbelievable yet promising tragedy filled with surprises that gets on your nerves. You can't stop, even after the theme song has died down, after the disc has been ejected, the scenes of pity and sympathy races through your mind, filling it permanently, so that even in your dreams, it appears in flashes to haunt your tears.

-xx-

Even though it hurts tremendously, even though all you want to do is to break yourself apart to rescue, you've still got to hold yourself back. That's when, you really break.

Wonder Gay

2009-08-29T19:22:00.002+08:00

I bring to you, Wonder Gay.
Credits to Kah Hwee for showing me this video!
And you have to admit, they have really good hips. Not to mention pretty flexible body of curves.

My life would suck without you

2009-08-22T17:39:00.002+08:00

My life would suck without you
Being with you is so dysfunctional
I really shouldn't miss you, but I can't let go
Oh yeah
'Cause we belong together now
Forever united here somehow
You got a piece of me

-xx-

WHOOOOPEEEEEEEEEEE.
This week was such a fun week! :D
HAHAHAHAHAH THINKING OF IT MAKES ME CRACK UP ALREADY.

Okay anyway wednesday char & I stayed back to do ICT (eunice had physics olympaid!) so before doing, obviously we fooled around. WE WENT TO LOOK AT FACEBOOK PICTURES OF OTHERS'! Of strangers, more like it.
Char and I were looking looking then suddenly she burst out laughing and pointed at a guy. A guy who might have been overweight. OKAY, MAJORLY OVERWEIGHT. So we were cracking up at how funny he looks (sorry I know it's very mean and offensive) and we went to click onto his face to see his name. Let's say his name is ABC.
Then we went to the next picture, saw under the caption that his name was also tagged in the picture. So we hovered our mouse over ABC and saw instead, A REALLY SUPER THIN GUY WHO'S BETTER LOOKING AND DEFINITELY NOT ABC!!! Char and I were mortified with horror and we went like, WOW, whichever slimming centre he went to, it must be able to work wonders. Char & I were like saying, must be tag wrongly.
But actually, it was tagged correctly, just that fat ABC blocked the thin ABC!!! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA.

Okay sorry I know you don't get it. Sighhhhh! I'm just feeling damn sian. I LOVE MY FRIENDS OMGGGGGGG <3333333333!!! I CAN'T WAIT FOR TEACHERS' DAY :DDDDDD

-xx-

"You knew!" The words rang out like spitfire, blinding him momentarily. He tried to run to her, to grab her hand, to apologize, but instead received cries of outburst that sent a shocking sharp twinge of pain slicing through his throat, disenabling his ability to speak.

You knew, you knew, you knew. Dirty accusation vibrated through every vessel of his musculated body, rising against his collarbone, forcing him to grab onto everything solid, to stop him from exploding into fragments of sorrow to cover her grief.

-xx-

T H A T ' S I T .
I'm naming my son Gilbert.

i ♥ you;

2009-08-15T22:32:00.003+08:00

Today, while thinking of you, I drew a heart in my homework.
I left the inside blank, because I wanted to be the only selfish one who knows the content.
After staring at it for the next 15 minutes, I decided to draw a wavy line at the curve of the heart, envisioning it like a balloon.
Simple reason: I wanted it to fly, away, as far as possible, so that I would not be reminded of you, or the relationship my brain and yours shared.

Guess I was wrong.
You're still blowing my mind off tracks.

Wish Upon a Star

2009-08-13T11:56:00.004+08:00

Are you holding back like the way I do,
do you feel the same way, too?

Because I'm crushed, shattered into fragments that made up the love for you.
Because I'm tired, tired of your constant hints that made up disappointment.
Because I've had enough, and I'm now moving on to another path, embarking on reminiscence, forgetting you.

You're the reason to why I stay up at night,
the reason to why my heart palpitates at the sound of you.
The reason to why I mistook every guy on the street for you.
The reason to why the whole world seems far away.
The reason, to why, I'm feeling the myriad feelings of regret, remorse and utmost deprivation, because the chances of having you listening to my heartbeat is one in a million.

Forever, is never, and over.

2009-08-10T20:34:00.003+08:00

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
CHARMAINE SAW XIN YI,
MY DAD SAYS THAT KIM HYUN JOONG LOOKS
"NEITHER LIKE A GIRL NOR GUY".
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
And my mum went all to my dad, "And you look just like an old ugly man." ('cos apparently she also fan of mr. kim)

Knew this would piss you off, charmaine saw ;)
I think Junbiao not bad looking lorh xD hahaha!
O.M.G. I JUST SPENT MY WEEKLY ALLOWANCE ON STORYBOOKS ._. BUT IT'S SOOOOO WORTH IT 'COS I BOUGHT THE UNDOMESTIC GODDESS!!!!!!!!! After my long awaited 10 years... HAHAHAH :D I bought Salem Falls & THE 10TH PRINCESS DIARIES!!!
And my mum kind of killed me for buying so many. And she said I'm siao for willing to spend money, on BOOKS no less. 'Cos my dad was really dumb and fell for my "educational" books trick and bought them for me. But anyway, I'm having a very good time reading them! :D

AHHHHHH I realise that I'm a HUGE sucker for sale. Everytime "BUY 1 GET 1 FREE" comes up I'm straightaway in the queue. Damnit, I must learn to have SELF-CONTROL. Come on people, let's go for SELF-CONTROL lessons!!! :D My mum say got leh! Like therapy liddat. HAHA.

Dang. I'm reeling terribly of fatigue and I am going to faint of exhaustion any minute now. I had SUPPER at 1AM and woke up at 6.18am this morning 'cos I had a nightmare about ytd's horror movie. Shit, I really should STOP watching horror movies. Not to mention that Drag Me to Hell is still in my bloody head. OHHHHH MY MUM HAS A NEW HONGKONG DISCCC!!! WHICH I AM GOING TO ZHUI! (or zui) ANYWAY! IT'S REALLY GOOD. It's about gambling (._.) (but it's better than The Ultimatum) I WATCHED THE FIRST EPISODEEE! So scary omg, they kept on beating each other up. And very touching also lah. Got preetty girl inside! :D OH GOT JACKIE! JACKIE FROM TANG XIN FENG BAO!!! (EUNICE!!!) (CHARMAINE - JACCCKIEE, GILLLBERRRT)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHAAHHHAHAHA.

Omg I'm so high now. Okay. CHILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.
EEEEK GOING TO WATCH TANG XIN FENG BAO NOW!!! :D
And no fair lahxz, my mum gets to watch the whole drama series 'cos she's like, AT HOME FOR THE NEXT 1 WEEK. (Her company got some holiday thing)!! QI SI REN!!! And I don't wanna go to school tmr!!! :( Confirm got results being released.
SO YOU KNOW WHAT. I AM GOING TO BRING ALL MY BOOKS AND RELIEVE MY STRESS BY READING. OKAY OKAY!!!

I gotta do:
Watch Tang Xin Feng Bao
LA Evaluation
(I'm so guai I finished my WS SC2 :D I know baby, praiseee me)
Read PRINCESS DIARIES :D

Alright. Bye! BREAK A LEG TMR, PEOPLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE .

National Day! :D

2009-08-10T09:03:00.002+08:00

YOOOOOOOOOOOS :D
Good morning peopleeeeeeeee, rise & shine!

Okay. Okay. Okay.
YESTERDAY WAS A WELL SPENT NATIONAL DAY!
Special, and different!
I used to pig out with my family in front of the tv, watch the ultra boring parade and probably watch a movie before going to sleep, waking up the next day to a holiday.

BUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT,
This year is extraordinary! So first, we had a national day party (._.) at my cousin's house! THEY HAD THE YUMMMMMYYXZ MUSHROOM AGAIN!!! The gravy will surround your mouth when you eat it, and because it's soo hot (both pepper & temperature) you feel satisfied when you eat it! OMG I sound like some food promoter. Or maybe just a pig. Then I watched part of a parade while gossiping with my cousins and aunties and uncles.
And I drank wine! This is not some ordinary wine, but apparently it's the "most investment" my uncle made. A.k.a. it's the most expensive wine he bought. AND I GOT TO DRINK 2 GLASSES!!! (At first my dad only allow one I persuaded my mum to let me get a second fill.)
Because of that, I had to go through my mum's loooooong story:

Remember ah, you cannot drink outside okay! Later what if somebody go put drug in your drink then you faint and some guy will ___________ you! (then her eyes go like those I'm-your-mum-and-what-I-say-is-true-and-scary-and-you-better-believe-it). At this point of time I would like to tell you that my mum has difficulty saying the words:
1. Rape
2. Sex
3. Bastard
But yet she can say:
1. F***
2. Va _ _ _ a
3. some hokkien vulgarity which I don't know

THEN! We watched a ghost movie - Shutters! And my that cousin got soo scared he kept on hiding his face in a pillow. When he's 19 years old! HAHAHA! I wasn't even scared lah can. Okay fine I was! It's scarier than Drag Me to Hell!!! And it's so freakinggg scary 'cos they kept on having suspense and just when you thought nothing is gonna happen, SOMETHING HAPPENS. And when you think something is gonna happen, IT DOESN'T, IT'S JUST ANOTHER PERSON. So you scream for nothing. But at least the horror movie got romance. Then I'll enjoy some parts of it hahahahaha.

Additionally, I talked to a very very old ex-classmate! PRIMARY 3 CLASSMATE! :D So we were talking about how hot each other is ._. HAHA not that we're les! Just helping each ego us boost our self-esteem even more hahahahaha! AND SHE IS SUPERR EGO, I THINK EVEN MORE EGO THAN ME CAN. Finally I've found a soulmate wahahahahh xD And you know what she said, when I told her that I'm short ('cos she said smth bad abt short ppl) she went,
"WHAT, YOU'RE STILL SHORT?!"

On top of that, we played taiti (with money)! AND I STILL WIN OVERALL. I thought I was going to come back broke but nahhhhhh, I'm a pro! :D hahahah! OH and we all pissed ourselves with more food & wine. And then we watched a music video made by my uncle for her daughter's 21st birthday!!! :D IT WAS SOO SWEET LAH CAN. I bet my dad don't even know what that software is called. And my cousin had her birthday in a hotel ballroom!! HAHA soooo I took this opportunity to con my (very thin-faced) dad. I told my dad in front of everybody (so that he can't back out wahahahha xD), "Daddy, you don't have to do me a video or a hotel birthday. You can just get me a car!" HAHAHA and I smiled in this c'mon-don't-you-love-your-daughter way. I think he must have been fuming hahaha and all my uncles & aunties went, "WOAHH CAR". Like seriously, a car is not that expensive what. The cheapest one can alr! :D

And TODAY! I'm going shopping with my mum! No, it's not a good thing. Shopping with my mum therefore means that my mum does the shopping, I do the carrying. URGHH! And today my dad promised me to go change my plan to unlimited sms & get a new phone (the $1800 nokia one!!!) BUT THEN HE WENT TO CHANGE MY MIND AND SAID THAT I MUST TEACH MY ANNOYING PESKY BROTHER AND PREPARE HIM FOR HIS EXAMS BEFORE I CAN GET IT. WHICH MEANS AFTER MY BROTHER'S SA2. AND WHEN WILL THAT BE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!? So who cares man, I am not going to care about smses already. I am going to bust my phone and let my dad continue paying. HUMPF. He don't even want to change the plan! D< He want everything to be "done in one day". QI SI REN LAHHHHXZXZXZXZ!

Okay. I think that's all I wanna say :D hahahahaha I know none of you will survive reading through all that. OKAY BYEBYEEEEEEEE x3333333333333333333333333
Iiiiiie lurbbbbbeeexz alllle ofvvvv euuuuuuuuiii!

You said to move on, but where do I go?

2009-08-08T22:10:00.004+08:00

History is repeating itself.

Oh, why am I only attracted to people who'll let me down?
Time, and again.

I really should consider turning les.

Change of outfit ;

2009-08-08T13:07:00.003+08:00

YOOOOOOOOOOOOO :D

My blog has new clothes! Okay, I should stop being so lame.
OMG, you know every time you refresh my blog the pictures of each post changes?! IT'S SO AWESOMELY COOL! hahahahaha of course, (it's mine) xD

AHH blocks are finally over! Sadly though, I don't feel like it's over. I feel like, well, busy. But free. Like there're a million things in my mind waiting for me to complete but I'm not doing it 'cause I'm supposed to be free kind of feeling.

Term 3 is an incorrigible term! ): AH, I feel like dyingxzxzxzxzxzzzzzzzzzzzzzzx.

ANYWAY! Let's not dwell on the not so happy events! YAY YTD WE (EUNICE CHARMAINE & ME) WHEN TO ION :D And we saw a pig. A damned pig which was slaughtered (omg) and CUT (omg) and it was ON DISPLAY. Like in FULL PIECE. And it's eyes were like staring, emitting a look like, this-man-slaughtered-me-so-I-am-stuck-here. So char was the first to notice it and her eyes went saucer-like and she was gaping at something behind me. So I turned around and also did the same reaction and was trying to tell eunice about it without saying it, then eunice (apparently she didn't get the message) and went, "It's not nice one, not nice one". (She was saying that the PIG is not YUMMY.)
Until finally, after what seemed like ETERNITY, she REALISED what we were trying to point out to her for the past dunno-how-long and sucked in a very x100000 deep breath and sharply turned away, dragging me behind her with char following and trying not to puke.
URGHHHHHHHHHH RIGHT!! And again, we went to camwhore with expensive clothes which we will never buy (hahaha)! I think all shopkeepers hate us.
UP (:D) is a veryyyyyy good movie! It's so funny, exhilarating (I was squashing the popcorn cup at the super exciting parts that made me out-of-breath and char was asking me to calm down 'cause at a point I was yelling at the screen: "JUMP JUMP JUMP!") and very touching! D:

-xx-

That, was nothing special. I don't know why, but with you, I'd dance in a storm in my best dress, fearless.

2009-07-31T16:03:00.002+08:00

O.M.G. THEY HAVE MIU MIU AT ION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
M.I.U. M.I.U. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am going to faint with pleasure. WE MUST GOOOOOOO THEREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
Omg I want block tests to be overrr ): I don't like mugging and the sickening feeling that I'm gonna do very badly ): AH!

EEK, START SAVING UP PEOPLE. MAJORRR SHOPPING SPREE COMING UP SOOOOOOOOON <3!

2009-07-27T21:37:00.002+08:00

I HATEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE IT WHEN I TAKE 77 HOME.

Not to mention that I have to walk about 200m downhill (eh, do not underestimate the word "downhill", it is a very tiring and laborious work to walk down 5 roads with your bulky backpack), I have to go past not one, but the TWO houses undergoing construction!!!

THEY WILL ZZZZZZZZZ ZAHHHHHHHHHHH BRRRRRRRRRRR AND DEAFEN ME. But that's not the worse part! The worse part is that when I walk past, I see shattered pieces of porcelain (that was probably part of the wall) and fragments of glass (part of window), additionally rocks! Therefore, even though I'm very stupid I can still work out some common sense: if it fell at the place where I walked past, it has a 99.99999999% chance (okay maybe I'm exaggerating) that it'll drop on my head when I walk through it!!!
See, can you imagine the emotional trauma I am going through!!! AND NOT ONLY DO I NEED TO GO THROUGH IT ONCE, I NEED TO SUFFERRR IT TWICEEEEEEEEEE!

All because I missed my 173 and will kill myself if I sit on the stupid bus stop seat for the next 30 mins and wait for the chair to burn a hole in my skirt, a memory of the hardship and torture I face everyday due to the fact that 173 is a pathetic bus that is the only bus, miserably, at my house bus stop.

My life is tragic.

2009-07-26T18:53:00.003+08:00

F*** you.
You claim everything to be yours, you start a ball rolling. But have you ever paused to consider that the ball isn't yours, and that the owner might want to roll it?
Just because you have the amazing ability to feel that the whole world revolves around you doesn't mean that you have the rights to steal someone's work and pose it off as your own, signing your big name there and even inviting me to your exhibition filled with my achievements.

Go get a life, pity doesn't rain its torrents on you just because you live a sad life. You need security? Go get a dog instead.

-xx-

NATALIE:
Naturally
Astounding
Totally
Attractive
Loves
Inspiring
Everyone
<3!

P.S. Nat, there are still 10000000000000000000000 guys after you. I received endless calls after putting up an ad with your pretty face on it :D I still miss you ): A LOT!!! ):

-xx-

Birth control is an exhilarating topic xD

2009-07-22T16:16:00.003+08:00

WOWWWWWWWW IT'S ANOTHER NEW POST :D
After ahem, one month and how many days?
HAHA! I finally got around to updating it. And it was all facebook's fault.

Urghhhhhhh today I have got soo many things to do!!! But I'm still here blogging hahaha :D 'cos fb didn't give me anything interesting today. I MISS PAIGEE!!! I will be uploading the pics we took soon on fb! REMIND ME! Or I will just procrastinate and wait for the pics to rot.

OK. I know I shouldn't leave this post this shorttt but.
OH CCA!! WE HAVE CCA ALREADY :D Ah Pang is super happy about it! hahaha I got pretty hyped up also and treated everybody (okay almost everybody, some people don't want D:) to ice cream! OH! And we changed venue, we're in the board room now!!

HAHA and I'm back to sitting with my dear eunice. I know every teacher hates us now, they were all staring at us to stop talking :D hah! And yuanmei sits on our right, back to calling us machine guns again! Eunice and I simply LOVE bio! :D hahahahahaha and I can't believe we're so sick lahh. Anyway school is superr boring except for my lovely friends :D haha! Blocks are coming soonnnnnnnnn ahhh!!!!!!! I wanna die already. So many things! And I hate romeo & juliet! I have this sickening feeling that I'm gonna do very badly for 2nd blocks ):

OMG I don't know why but I have such weird moodswings ): Like seriously! Must be because of my thatthing. HAHA! I flare up very easily lah. Then I get very high also (mostly because I have people like charmaine and eunice and yuanmei) :D

I LOVE YOU GUYS (L)! LET'S GO WATCH THE PROPOSALLLLLLLLLLL & UPPPPP :D

Just to let you know, a self-centered prat like you will never go far in life. Let's see how long it takes for you to crumble down and put your hands up in surrender, to admit that yes, you are taking advantage of everybody else and poising yourself as superior.

2009-06-19T15:00:00.002+08:00

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house, that don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry
Every once in a while even though goin' on with you gone still upsets me
There are days
Every now and again I pretend I'm okay but that's not what gets me

What hurts the most, was being so close
And having so much to say
And watchin you walk away
Never knowing, what could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' it
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still harder getting up, getting dressed, living with this regret
But I know if i could do it over
I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart that I left unspoken

A comment from a Youtube user on this song:
kathryn199722 (5 days ago):
(...) and i no if it happened again, i wud say evrythin i left unsaid.

-xx-

I feel tied, super tired. I got unfinished homework to do shizxzxzxz.
And shockingly as it seems, I like hannah montana :)

2009-06-12T15:55:00.004+08:00

-xx-

I have a blister on my right index finger, mosquito bites all over my body and a sore arm.
But I am still going to play badminton with him.
AND I AM SUPER HAPPY, BECAUSE.
Today is friday :)
And I have completed my fourth fenxi halfway. :)
Plus, I have found some of my LA notes! I lost most of them oh dear. But the sad part is, the ones that I've found are incomplete.
On top of all that, I FOUND MY DRAMA JOURNAL :D

2009-06-11T15:02:00.003+08:00

Death is a painful and sorrowful step in life we've all got to overcome with hesitance.

It isn't the one leaving that's feeling the pang of despondency. It's the one that she's left behind who's mourning, melancholy overpowering every cell of their bodies, combing the past, scratching between her possessions, desperately trying to feel her broken presence within every one's heart. All who knew her felt and shared the grief among one another, although no words were vibrated through the air - silence being the main ornament that kept the salty tears from falling - the despondency and desolation passed through telepathy between all of us shattered our very souls, disintegrating our hearts into a thousand fragments. These snippets of our love enclosed by our hearts begin searching for their place in the puzzle, piecing the pieces of you together solemnly, until a perfect, quintessential picture of you is portrayed, leaving that for every single one of us to remember, to keep it etched in our memory, forever.

-xx-

Happiness is brought by love.
He called me pro, and he shared my water. Plus I made him choke while we were both cracking up. Hmm, when was I this elated again?
OH. MY. GOSH. I think I'm obsessed with him.
The best part about the flawless him is that, his name starts with a M. According to facebook, my true love's name starts with a M. :DD
Finally, things are starting to look normal for a holiday. To end off with a note that'll make you all swim with pleasure, I have not started on any of my homework except ace-learning, which I have cease to complete.
God, please help me.

What you are is God's gift to you,
what you become is your gift to God.

Tata<3 .

2009-06-08T10:43:00.001+08:00

Miley Cyrus - 7 Things - Parody

Lyrics:
I probably shouldn't say this.
Because my friends think that I'm weird.
Everytime I say I love you they remind me you can't hear.
It's because you're cardboard. I'm always ignored.
But you feel so real to me why can't they see.
And you're still standing in the same way.
Just how i left you yesterday, against the wall.
Don't fall.

The 7 things I hate about you.
You're fake, you break, you are not real.
If only I had something to feel.
You are 2D with no back side.
You cost me quite a lot to buy.
My friends are jerks they make fun of us.
Just know it hurts. I want to be with the real Miley.
And the 7th thing I hate the most about you
You make cardboard look cute ;-)

It's awkward and silent because cardboard cannot speak.
I wonder what you think about when you smile and stare at me.
Dood are you serious?! You're delirious? She is cardboard
she can't hear us.
YES I CAN. (lyke WTF)
Dood zomg did she just talk?!
She's been real all along! Say something again!

DAVE NEVER TOUCH ME AGAIN!

The 7 things I like about you.
You're hair, your eye, cardboard Levis.
When we kiss you're hypnotized.
You let me do whatever I want.
I can't wait till Chris is gone! ;-)
We never fight when I hold you tight
Ow! Splinter! Ohhh it's alright!
I wanna be with the real Miley.
And the 7th thing I like the most about you.

You make cardboard look cute.

2009-06-07T21:35:00.002+08:00

This is my 204th post.

And I cut my hair, again.
I look ridiculously like a guy. No kidding, when I washed my hair in the shower I wanted to bundle up my hair in a ball so that it can lay obediently on the top of my scalp, but I couldn't. Realisation dawned on me that I have very short hair.
In a way, that's cool. :D

I watched Slumdog Millionaire with my family. And I had to admit, it was pretty wicked. Fantastic and I wished I had just 2% of one of the producers' brain. The way they thought of everything tragic and miraculous was stunning. But I hate the part about the blind little singer. I pity him soooo much and I felt my heart pang when he was isolated in that train station 'cos of the stupid forgot-who whom blinded him.
I like the young Jamal. :) My dad says that in the real cruel world, all the producers gets the big cash through the big-break of this movie and the little kids get limited amount. But they were the ones that stole our hearts, not the damned producers. So I'm pretty fed up.

CCA OUTING WAS FUN :D!
Plus ten points! We camwhored a lot, kudos to ah pang! And then we barbequed and I have a burnt face. Anyway! We gossiped & laughed & went crazy. And I found out a new side of lagoon - she is scared of horror movies! Okay fine, me too. So we were grabbing each others' hands for our dear lives and when lagoon saw a scary part which I didn't (yay! 'cos I covered my eyes) lagoon will tell me every scary bit so there's no point in covering. And we screamed our way through the whole movie.
Just to let you know, I still am scared. D: BUT NONETHELESS IT WAS A FAB DAY FILLED WITH FUN!

Today... was awesome :D Only Nat<3 knows why.
I learnt how to play rugby today, thanks to somebody! Okay okay I found a new crush. He plays badminton superbly. :D He taught me cool tricks! But I only know:
#1. His name
#2. His address
No doubt abt it, #2 sounds weird. He's cute. And he has an American accent. Plus he's polite. :D And I should just stop right about now.

My parents and brother are watching this movie called Doubt. I managed to catch one funny part:

Student A: Can we ask the girls to dance with us?
Teacher: Sure.
Student B: But what if she turns us down?
Teacher: You can ask the other girls.
Student A: What if ALL the girls don't wanna dance with us?
Teacher: That's why we have priests.

2009-06-02T11:40:00.003+08:00

Many a time we dream and fantasize about what we want to become.
A rock star, the President, Princess Juliet.
We get held down by other circumstances, by others' expectations, by the socialite of this materialistic world. We want to become indelible, a character of a lifetime, a filmstrip tied by ribbons of immortality, papers stapled with staples of magic and the impossible.
All of a sudden, these dreams disappear along with the snap of cash, cameras of fame protruding you in the daily papers... Your dreams of being a fish goes with the wind, leaving leaves of the autumn - your decision to become an accountant ; a lawyer. You ace all interviews, watching yourself from a distance, thinking, wo-ah hey there perfectionist. You know how to react with impoverished smiles when you're thrown with a back-tracking question, you know the exact steps to be a high-flying successor, you know how to sweet talk your boss into getting a promotion, you know the correct books to claim and secure a deal with the company's alliance, receiving the expression of acknowledgement.

Only when someone asks you for your father's height, his weight, his favourite food then you sickened, finally realising that you've been sinking deeper and deeper into the quick sand of love. Combing for failures between each silicon dioxide, treading seams within your family's treasures... But you still have not gotten back what you've been leaving behind, what you've been sacrificing.

2009-06-02T11:14:00.002+08:00

I.
CUT.
MY.
HAIR.
!

I miss my old hairstyle, damnit! I have this funny fringe and I feel weird everytime my gaze does so much as look up 'cos I'll see hair! NORMALLY I DON'T. It was at the sideeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
And the hairdresser cut wrongly, it doesn't look like bangs. But the worse part is that it's too long ._. So I have to cut it AGAIN before I go to school 'cos I definitely cannot pass the spot check.

Sorry to disappoint peeps, my phone is spoilt. Serious problems so I can't upload my pretty picture of me & my bangs! HAHAHA actually I look very weird ._. EUNICE'S BANGS IS VERY NICE! She looks like Rui En! BUT ANYWAY I rebonded my hair!!! REBONDED REBONDED REBONDED!!!

Which is also another reason why I woke up with a jolt when my hair not
#1. Puffy
#2. Tangled
#3. A ball at a side
And then I realised that I had rebonded my hair. I FORGOT MAH! I have not started on any homework D: I planned to finish all my homework by this week!!! (How ambitious of me.)

When I visited the doctor, I asked him if I can grow to 165cm. He took a long look at me and said, "Let's be realistic, maybe 161cm?"
...
D:
And then he said that you will stop growing 3 years after your that thing arrives. THAT MEANS THAT I WILL STOP GROWING WHEN I AM SEC4 *&#!(@*#&)!(*#&!(@*&# !!!!!!
I tell you, at least at least at least I must grow till 16ocm. AT LEASTTTTTTT. Or not I'll just die of humiliation from all my friends like CHARMAINE SAW ahemahem***!
That is also why I'm going to marry an ang moh! Because they are
#1. Tall
#2. Handsome
#3. Not shy
#4. Open minded
#5. Romantic (wahaha)
#6. Funny
#7. Hot & Muscular

AND I LOVEEE GERMANS OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!
hahahhahaha stella & charmaine! hahahhaahaahh LEONARD.
LE-O-NARDDDDDD <33333333333333333333 DROOOOOL DROOOL DROOOOOOL.

2009-05-31T18:32:00.003+08:00

SHOULD I CUT MY HAIR!!!!!! D:
I want to cut! Short hair bangs <3

Eunice's cutting too! Ahhhhhh! Wanna cut wanna cut wanna cut!
But I'll miss my old hairstyle.
OKAY LEAVEEE A TAG, TELL ME IF I SHOULD CUT! I will start to reply tags on my tagboard now, 'cos I'm too lazyyy to reply here! BUT DON'T WORRY ALL YOUR TAGS ARE CHERISHED! <3

If I cut I will post pictures okay :D
Toodles!

You Belong With Me

2009-05-31T13:12:00.004+08:00

We create fate,
we make fate happen for us.

Flipping of coins, self-deceiving of lies upon lies. Each time you mouth your words of praise for her is as though throwing of a book onto my head, forcing me to fall, shattered once again. Surrender, telling me that I can't measure up, I'll never be the reason you get up each morning, because happy endings end with another path of closure enhanced with greater sorrows.

Get real, bernice.

I WISH EUNICE<3 & KAYLA<3 BON VOYAGE! & May she have a very happy holiday!
HAVE FUN SHOPPING LIKE CRAZYYYYYYYYAE DEAREST! Will miss you loads & loads! Take care of your health while you're there okay! :D HOPE YOU CAN FIND WHAT YOU WANT!!!
Have the time of your lives, and don't forget to miss me <3

P.S. Kayla you will have a fun time, don't let _________ get you down! :D ENJOY YOURSELF! <3

2009-05-30T15:15:00.003+08:00

I have two sabbats:
#1. Food Chemistry
#2. Chinese Lyrics Writing

If you weighed the pros & cons, my sabbats (although they are the two most-wanted) ain't much different from yours. They're equally boring with bone-dry lectures included in the package of "fun", but what matters is whether you can twist it and get out of that slackish shell to enjoy the last week of school.
Chinese lyrics writing is FUN mannn! <3
Especially when you have deskmates full of crap like: Eunice, Yuanmei & Jermaine. I shall save the best for the last, which was the lyrics that we racked our brain to come up with. For a person who can't speak / write Chinese Characters to save myself, I count on the super smart Eunice for words that rhyme and Yuanmei for the crazy ideas she can so easily craft. Tragically, the act pro instructor who can't sing or play the guitar remembers my name. Every lesson he would yell at me to shoot out his verbal threatening - me sitting at the front, alone. I would shut up, for I love the company of my loved ones.

We're supposed to write out lyrics based on a picture, first think of a title then pen out your lyrics. As it turned out, Eunice & I were gossiping while laughing with Yuanmei about our simply horrendous and riduiculous lyrics.

Alright, drumrolllllls people, here's our lyrics. I give you the not-so stomach tumbling one first.
Ladies & Gentlemen, I present to you - 求婚。

雨啪嗒啪嗒地掉落下来
你对我表达你的爱
你说，嫁给我吧
可你的最爱还是你妈

你的戒指又老又土
你还叫我洗衣服？！
我不要变成黄脸婆
每天替你脚按摩！

If you want to sing it along with the tune of Happy Birthday, here's the exact lyrics. The first four lines is one happybirthday, and the next four is another happybirthday.

雨啪嗒地掉下来
你对我表达你的爱
你说，嫁给我吧
可你最爱你妈

你戒指又老又土
你还叫我洗衣服？！
我不要变成黄脸婆
每天替你按摩！

歌词：Eunice, Yuanmei, Jermaine & Bernice.

Now, Ladies & Gentlemen, Boys & Girls, I proudly bring to you -

《咖啡》

这么好喝的咖啡，

我却只要喝一杯。

这么难喝的咖啡，

我却能和十杯。

我是否被你气疯了？

坐在屋顶上，

拿着那杯好喝的咖啡。

看见你慢慢地走过，

就想恨恨地把咖啡

倒到你的身上，

让你喝！

哈哈！

歌词：Yuanmei, Eunice, Bernice.

A round of applause for these wonderful lyricist, thankyouthankyouthankyou!

-xx-

Today I watched my eleven year old brother sling his Hush Puppies bag across his shoulder carelessly, not noticing how he carried himself. I pointed out to him that he slung it the wrong way, the back facing out - a hideous sight. He shrugged off my criticism and ran to the car, going to his piano lesson, with long socks and shirt tucked in.
His alleviating disregard to the fact that he was uncool stilled me, and then a surge of envy overpowered every vessel in my body. He does not bother about the necessities he must carry out to have I'm Cool tattooed onto his forehead, as compared to the countless efforts of every other kid in the world who's searching desperately for the stamp of being noticed etched onto his heart, to sooth it with so much as a flicker of glance from the King of the Gang upon his direction.
It makes me think, have you guys ever paused to ponder, why we fold our socks to enable the visibility of our ankles; the lowering of our strapped backpacks; or the language we're supposed to use to show off our credibility... Is it for recognition, or is it to deceive ourselves, to make us believe that we're being recognised?

2009-05-24T19:53:00.002+08:00

I AM SO HAPPY I FOUND LOVE STORY MEETS VIVA LA VIDA ON IMEEM :D
So now you guys don't have to mute your comps when you visit my blog 'cos this song is simply brilliant, the sort of music that stops you dead and demand that you listen. It's music that soothes, relaxes and inspires all the same. A melodious & fabulous piece of art, created only by hands of a genuine musician.
Something original, magical and beautiful, never imagined as possible. But yet here it is playing on my blog while you read my awesome posts, so you'll be a dweeb if you don't do so much as to turn your volume up! :D

& on a sidenote, I changed my blogskin! (Like finally.)

2009-05-21T22:17:00.002+08:00

Do you believe in love at first sight,
or do I have to walk past you again?

Credits: Isaac

2009-05-21T21:41:00.002+08:00

I AM VERY HAPPYYYYYYYYYZXZXZXXZXZXZX !

#1. Wednesday was a very very very very very very fun day with Eunice & Charmaine !
We've all realised that we love the same type of guys, we love the same type of clothes (aka we have VERY GOOD fashion sense hahaha), we can finish each others' sentences, we have all the exact same thoughts except that none of us wants to voice it out for we're afraid of critisicm.
AND AND AND WE'VE GOT A LOT OF THINGS THAT WE WANNA BUY!!! Charm got a very e-x-pensive wallet ! HHHAHAHAH we were teaching her how to walk bimbo-ly and flashing the wallet with the BIG BIG brand so that everyone can see wahahhahahha so show off!
AND AND AND !!! Youknow we all wanna buy a $69.00 belt! & a $55.80 dress! :D And a lot of other things! We spent a VERY LONG time at TAKA <3 ! Then we were all talking about being taitais & being rich & going into Hermes with the whole shop to yourself. We talk & talk & talk & eat the exact same food for lunch with the omgosh oh-so delicious Ichigo Bliss (frozen strawberry!)
AND WE ARE LIKE OMGOSH TALKING ABOUT STUFF THAT WOULD BE CLAIMED AS DISGUSTING AND EMBARRASSING TO OTHERS BUT US! We can click so well hee hee! & Y'know the stoopid Adidas person was like giving us dagger stares D: 'cos I think we (okay maybe only me) talk very very loudly in the changing room! WE THREE PEOPLE SHARE ONE! && we go to taka kids y'know! My recommendation, because there the stuff are inexpensive and we're like wearing XL / L size omgoshhhhhh ! hahahaahahahah!
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ YOU CHARM & EUNICEEEE!!!
(Just now write eunice first then charm, now write charm first then eunice - see I very fair okay!)

#2. I ATE A LOT TODAY! Okay actually that is very fattening. Recess, spaghetti from Muslim Stall! Lunch, Ferrero Rocher. Before CCA, gan lao la mian, icecream yogurt, hamburger & poky! During cca, icecream yogurt.
I must have gained at least 5kg.

#3. I passed every subject for my CA! & somethingsomethingsomething which I'm sure Eunice knows about my LA ! :D hahahhahahah & grats to her for somethingsomethingsomething too! Don't wanna sound so ego here! kk nexttt!

#4. I LOVE MY CCA MATES LAHH OMGOSH! Today CCA's soo fun! We share everybody's icecreamyogurt thing thing. AND WE DREW XIAO JI! & ah pang was thinking sick & talking about prostitutes.

#5. YESTERDAY WAS SPORTS MEET! & we camwhor-red A LOT ;D hahahha! cam-whoring is funnnnnn ! <333333
Got very beautiful pics with amazing scenery (credits to Stella Tay Xin-Ya) of me, eunice & charm! :D THE BESTEST FRIENDS WHOOHOO ~~~ Okay and I was quite sad 'cos I find somebody but guess no yuan fen bah D: and hahahha charm got A LOT of suitors yeahh!!! SO MANY PEOPLE CALL AND GO, HEY BABE MY FRIENDS WANT TO LOOK AT YOUR PRETTYYYYY FACE! Then we counted - she got 7 guys who like her! We were saying 7, one guy one day, gang gang hao enough for one week! :D hahahahhaha &&& the mornings are for us good friends! :D hahahahahhh!
(I think charm is gonna massacre me once she sees all these)

#6. TOMORROW IS FRIDAY AND NEXT WEEK IS SABBATS!!! AFTER WHICH IT'S HOLS!!! Goodbye hectic stupid school life, helloooooooohhhhh hols, now we're talking ! OH TMR I'M GONNA WATCH THIS SHAOLIN THING AT ESPLANADEEE. Apparently my dad said it's entertaining and powerful ._. ARGHH!

#7. I;m going to FOA with ah pang !!! <3333333333333333333333333333333333

BYEBYE PEOPLE I LOVE YOU ALL FOR READING & I LOVE EVERYBODY OUT THERE & MAY UNFORTUNATE PEOPLE MEET WONDERFUL CHANGES IN THEIR LIVES SO THAT THEY CAN LIVE HAPPILY LIKE MEEEEEEEEE!

2009-05-17T22:24:00.002+08:00

I LOST MY WALLET WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF.
Okay I didn't lose it.
I was forgetful & left it on the stupid toilet roll cover.
AND I WAS VERY SAD (see the was!) 'COS ALL MY MONEY INSIDE WAS THE AWARDS FOR STUDYING HARD FOR MY BLOCKTEST!!! (*@#&(!*&@#()!*@&#()!@*&#
But I said I WAS sad 'cos my dad promised to buy me stuff that's worth $150 to make up for it!
Initially he was very angry lah, but then he admitted that when he was a boy he lost his wallet too! And he lost a FEW hundred dollars!!! AND LAST TIME A FEW HUNDRED DOLLARS A LOT OF MONEY LORH!

Okay anyway I need to thank A LOT of people for encouraging me & allowing me to say this happily ! :
CHARMAINE, NATALIE, EUNICE, JIANSHENG, KAHHWEE, XINGTING! <333333333333333333333333333
At first right, when Jiansheng smsed I thought it was the Security Guard that I gave my hp no. to, and he smsed me to tell me that he found my wallet ._. 'Cos I don't have js's no. mah!!!
AIYOO. Then I see the first sentence, "this is jiansheng" or smth like that and then I felt soo sad D:
hahahhaha but now I'm very fine & happy & well!!!
YOUKNOW CHARMAINE RAN UP & DOWN THE WHOLE PLACE JUST TO FIND MY WALLET WHICH WAS ALREADY STOLEN D: And nat & kh & js waited outside the cinema for meeeeeeeee!!! I think they missed part of their show! & then I made them soo worried!!!
I feeel so bad omgosh D:

AND YOUKNOW JS & KH YOU GUYS ARE GIANTS. Charm was like, "omgosh so tall so tall so tall!" into my ear ._.

-xx-

Yes, I told everyone about your Chemistry 'O' Levels. Is there something wrong with telling?
I mean, since you openly told everyone that I won "CONSOLATION" for my Calligraphy Competition and even dragged the word consolation, smiling while you said it, thinking it's funny. Is it?

You think you're doing a lot by doing things last minute, remembering the bits & pieces of research that you scrumbled, and then completely forgetting the time when Jincheng had to do the whole Culture Project, with just a little bit of my & weiyu's help while you send a simple sms with THREE sorrys. Remember, Chem SIA, too?

You told weiyu that I thought you were Superwoman when I asked you to do a lot of things for our Math SIA in one night. Is that my fault, when I told you to do Hash Function research since hmm... 4 /5 weeks ago? If you do not recall, I DID, because I saw Hash Function displayed in your wallpaper from your notes.
Remember, you even showed me and laughed, "hahah I put there so long haven't do yet."

I'm really sorry for saying all these in PUBLIC, but since you want me to admit about the chem o levels thing in YOUR BLOG, I shall. HERE, in MY BLOG.
Idk how I'm gonna work with you for Drama, but whatthehell I don't care.

By the way, just for you to note, I left BMW-J because of you.
Solely.
And btw, you don't know how much you should treasure Jincheng. She really treats you as a true friend, so please stop calling her sotong when it's NOT hilarious because she's hurt, very very very. Even though she did not tell me, it was prominently displayed on her face.

THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK.

2009-05-13T11:42:00.002+08:00

Jon Schmidt is my new idol !
Byebye Zac Efron, you're a loser anyway. JON SCHMIDT <333333!
He's a wonderful musician, he sure has the talent from God which I failed to hold. Ah well, at least we get to appreciate and enjoy his amazing works of art!
I MEAN LIKE OMGOSH LAH HE ARRANGED A PIECE WHICH JOINS VIVA LA VIDA & LOVE STORY ALL TOGETHER! & the product is not some kind of act pro musician trying to impress nobody with a sucky piece of ear-deafening music but actually something soothing to hear & beautifully melodious, which is a crave for everyone!

Thanks so much Charmaine, for uploading it on your blog!
I think it's my 16th time repeating it. OHWELL. I'm sick & blogging. I love the part where Schmidt goes wham wham wham and the chords tumble out, his veins shooting out and his fingers pumping like angsty omgosh that hot-firing moment is astonishing and breath-taking!!! I LOVE JON SCHMIDT LAHHHHHHH!

Okay I should go back to sleep.
(I didn't go to school today! ;D)
I CAN'T WAIT FOR HIS MUSIC SCORES AHHHHH!!! But I know I won't be able to play it, since even after I've prayed to be musically inclined every night I still can't differentiate keys so.
Forget it.
BUT I WANNA TRYYY!!! Which I will give up, who wanna bet.

OHHHHH I SHALL END OFF ON A HAPPY NOTE!
I PASSED CHINESEEEEEEEEEE !!! :DDDDDD
First time since my sec school life. I'm not kidding.
Thanks Lady Luck! <3

Against All Odds

2009-05-08T20:33:00.002+08:00

How can I just let you walk away,
Just let you leave without a trace,
When I'm standing taking every breath,
With you,
You're the only one who really knew me,
At all.

How can you just walk away from me,
When all I can do is watch you leave,
Cause we shared the laughter and the pain,
And even shared the tears,
You're the only one who really knew me at all.

So take a look at me now,
There's just an empty space,
There's nothing left here to remind me,
Just the memory of your face,
So take a look at me now,
There's just an empty space,
If you're coming back to me it's against all odds,
And that's what I've got to face.

-xx-

I've learned to stop clinging on to the past, combing it for clues of successes, flashing a smile as you relate them to strangers. No one would look at you with recognition, for what they crave for is the present and your ability to seize their favour for you.
My love for you was noticed and retaliated when I was barely able to talk, you were the decision I made in life, which was to walk in your footsteps and become somebody majoring in you. I can't swallow watching you walk away with some people that does not deserve you, that has no respect for you and what you are. You can't leave, but maybe I'm just not your match, just the second card left on the shelve of the deserted aisle, waiting and rotting while watching you gleam with pleasure, jealousy seething through the rest of us, because we're not as good as you in your amazing talent of sucking up, thus gaining the spotlight from your backstabbing supporters.

I'm treading on egg shells; walking on tight rope. It's as though I'm clinging on to a thin frailed branch, hanging over a twenty-thousand feet cliff, patiently waiting for the time when I'll fall and become someone forgetten, someone from the past, unrecognised.

2009-05-06T20:29:00.002+08:00

I didn't make anything happen.
You were the one that unfolded each mishappenings into a blank sheet of paper of our future and it made me realise that I don't want to spend my unforgettable secondary 2 life with you.
It's obvious that you're plain taking advantage of many people. I gave you a chance but you decided to ignore it with your own anger, well then it's your choice.
Your constant insults left me looking down and wondering if you're someone I should hang out with, as your friends I feel that I'm just someone who's permanently there for you, hands open, for you to fall back on. I've enough, it's time for you to reflect.

I thank all the people who've been there for me: Natalie, Eunice, Xing Ting, Kayla, Jincheng, Qianyi, Ying Yee, Yuanmei and etc (like those from calligraphy and my always active sms-ers)... Who've listened and encouraged me to go on. Life has been a crazy path of zig-zags and these are the people who're kicking away the obstacles, being my road workers and digging up the road to mend a straight path for me. Really, thank you for your invitations. Natalie, thank you for reading my endless MSN offline messages and replying them with that advisor tongue of yours :D Eunice, thank you for getting scolded with me (by Mr. Mac, which reminds me I hate history) when we're talking in high spirits and bitching, and I think what Yuanmei said is absolutely right, we're like machine guns. OH YEAH NAT GUESS WHAT, WE'RE BOTH JUST NON-HISTORY PEOPLE! I got back my results, hahah tell you on MSN! :D Nvm, we shall pursue something else! And not stupid history :DD I did worse than you! Argh but thanks to Eunice I've already 看得开 and am not sad anymore! Except for the fact that because of this I don't have another 50bucks! So all your birthday presents might have to ahem...buy fake ones. HAHAH NO LA KIDDING!!! ;)

Yes, I'm seeing. And you will watch. It's like both of us watching a spectrum of events circling round a clock, ticking away our past friendship into angsty, with only two of us as puzzled spectators, wondering why the people quarrelling on stage are exact duplicates of us.

2009-05-02T19:10:00.003+08:00

hahaha I'm posting so often now! & still not replying tags. AIYA I SEE THE LOT I ALREADY WANT TO FAINT ALREADY!

Anyway I just wanted to let you guys try smth! OHHHH I'M SO EXCITED JUST THINKING ABOUT IT! okay okay if you want to know how much you like a person (I'm getting loads of spelling errors here and I have to keep on backspace-ing 'cos I'm so excited that I'm typing super duper fast), ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS CUT 10 STRIPS OF PAPER, WRITE 1, 2, AND SO ON UP TILL 10 ON ALL THOSE PAPERS, then you MIX THEM UP, and then you keep on saying that person's name in your mind and picture him/her AND YOU PICK ONEEE! (out of the 10)
ANDDDDDD IT WILL TELL YOU HOW MUCH YOU LIKE THE PERSON! (of course with 10 being the most liked) :DD
ANDD YOU KNOW WHO'S THE ONE AND ONLY WHO GOT 10 FOR ME?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!
I'm totally telling the TRUTH here okay! T-R-U-T-H!

It's the guy that I like a lot!
Okayyyy I knoww I've been saying that I like a lot of guys ._. But this one you all know since day one :D
Clue: He has hair like Mas Selamat. (yeah youknowwho peeps)
HE GOT 10 !!! OMGOSHH MY REACTION WAS:
(in order)
1. Heart stops.
2. Eyes turn as big as saucers.
3. Scream.
4. Jump jump jump!
5. Smile and stare at the paper.
6. Think of the guy with Mas Selamat's hair.

I REALLY BELIEVE IN FATEEEEE <3
You guys should, too! :DDDDDD
Oh & when you try it, pleaseee be smart to NOT have a blank piece of paper okay! WRITE 1 TO 10! go go gooo try! & tag on my blog to tell me the results!!!

P.S. My phone sms is going to explode. Try to tag me on my blog if you need me / call my house phone :DD Or not you can't sms me at all 'cos my phone will go straight into the dustbin.
OKAY BYEBYE <33

2009-05-01T15:34:00.002+08:00

I'M VERY HAPPY :D
I love my cca omgosh. Okay I know I've said this a lot of times :x Ohh & to clear one sterotype of calligraphy, we are not good in chinese. We suck terribly.
With the exception of Miss Phua Yi Yun & 0 1 0 :D hahaha!

YOUKNOW SOMETHINGGGGGGGGG!!!
My fo guang shan prize giving ceremony is next saturday :D Which is very good! Because then I can get my trophy (I REALLY REALLY REALLY HOPE THERE'S ONE!!!) & Nat can hold it like she wants to on 16may :D

hahahah I find human beings very amusing.
A is a girl.
B is a guy.
I asked A about smth, she replied within 3 secs.
When I asked her if she liked B, she took hours to reply but in the end she didn't ._.
I asked B about smth, he replied within 3 secs.
When I asked him if he liked A, he took 1 hour to reply, and totally ignoring the part about liking.
Love is really a very funny thing when you look at it from another point of view :D

& I AM VERY HAPPY 'COS I FOUND OUT WHO B LIKES!!! :D Finallyy, like after almost a year ._. See that means that even a person who loves to keep things to her/himself can trust the awesome me :D

I FINISHED SO FAR...
#1. Tribute :D
yay me right!
I still left...
#2. LA SIA (filming & script writing - sunday 'cos yixuan's in malaysia now and can't come today, which reminds me of something I'm feeling very remorseful about -- SHIJIA WENT ALL THE WAY TO CLEMENTI MRT TO WAIT FOR ME 'COS I DIDN'T KNOW THAT SHE CHANGED HER NO.!!! ): I feel so bad omgosh. SORRRRYYY SHIJIA!!!)
#3. Math Revision
#4. Revision for history & geog quizzes
#5. Culture Project

Y'KNOW I FOUND A WHITE HAIRRRRRRR :DDDDDD
I was wondering whyy I haven't got one yet, after all the stress-filled mugging.
hahaa k byebye <333333

AFTER MATH BLOCKTEST I WILL REPLY TAGS.
I want to promise but I'm scared that I won't keep to it... so I'LL TRY MY BEST K! <333333

2009-04-30T15:08:00.002+08:00

WHOOOOOOOO CLAP FOR ME :D

I'm ultra happy 'cos I'm so OVER dance & into CALLIGRAPHY<333333! I've also changed my at the side thing to my love for calligraphy ! :D
It's really not an uncool cca lorh, to whoever that thinks it. IT'S COOL. And from now on I'll say with pride that I'm from NANYANG SHU FA <3!
& that I LOVE MY BATCHMATES A LOT A LOT A LOT A LOT A LOT!!!
Hope THE PRAWN SHELL COMES OUT!!!I DUN EVEN NOE WHETHER ITS INSIDE?! - YIYUN
Yiyun thinks that her body has swallowed the prawn shell & she feels SHARP and POKY in her lungs, her heart is VERY PAINFUL and she wants to DA BIAN (shit) so that the prawn shell comes out :DDD
ALL THANKS TO ONE SMALL TEENY WEENY PIECE OF PRAWN SHELL.
which she is NOT EVEN SURE if she swallowed it / not.

And she made xingting & I type in our wishlist to get the stupid prawn shell outta her body.
WHICH MAY NOT EVEN BE EXISTANT.
I told yiyun to go cough it out she don't want, tell her to shit it out she laugh laugh laugh then I told her skali she laughed it out and she laughed some more.
THEN SHE SAID THE PAIN WENT AWAY & SHE FELT BETTER :D
10 mins later she got paranoid AGAIN.

HAHAHAH OKAY BYEBYEEE <333
This post is dedicated to Ah Pang 'cos she wanted me to post.

<333333333333 EVERYONE FROM CALLIGRAPHYYYYYYYYYY !!!!!!!!!!!

Oh P.S. the taiwan thing is rescheduled to dec ): 'cos june no time le! BUT NEVER MIND WE ARE STILL GOING AS ONE LOVELY CCAAAAAAAAAA :DDDDDD
Are you jealoussssss? :D :D :D

OHH & CONGRATULATIONS TO NYSE FOR GETTING A GOLD! They played fantastically well :D hahahha see weiyu actually I wanted to dedicate this post just to calligraphy...but then I decided to include nyse too :D HAH SEE YUANMEI! I love you all so much :D hahahah and I'm sure you all love me, too! :DDDDDDD

2009-04-25T16:47:00.005+08:00

Friends, is it just another word to describe human beings or does it represent one's true relationship?

Friends don't emphasize on your failures. If you're a true friend, then you should know that you do not go around telling anyone who'd listen, boasting and making out your friend's unsuccessful attempt as jokes you deemed as hilarious, seizing this opportunity to gain interest from others'. You don't act sympathizing and ask your friend about her obvious upset failures, instead you fake ignorance and steer her focus onto a cheerful subject. That's what friends are for. You don't shoot your glib tongue with words of sooth and feel your heart glide inside you. You give words of encouragement to boost her confidence and guide her step by step onto her mission to success.

You're not my friend, and will never be. You're filling yourself with opaque broken shards of glass, and then cheating yourself because glass is transparent. Your fake nonchalant gestures used to move me and had given me a mutual trust which I strongly believed, but now your transparency enabled me to see you crystal clearly and know that beneath all those hugs, you're just another human being who taught me the negative side of life.

Friends, they don't need you to shed crocodile tears, all they yearn for is your constant support and never failing trust in them. They have you to be their magician, to change their misfortunes into successes, to flip their downturns into little brinks of smiles and then slowly wide broad grins into finally guffaws of laughter. Even when their day is horribly rotten, they know you'll be there with a tissue or a leaning shoulder and their trust in you, engraved onto something invisible --- friendship.

2009-04-21T22:09:00.002+08:00

Lame is something we call people who come up with jokes that are funny, but in a pre-schooler kinda thinking.
Not when it pierces somebody's heart. Not when it ain't funny, instead it creates an air of stillness. Not when you're the only one laughing.
It gets annoying, when you make an obvious desperate attempt to act nonchalant and cool, but still you're not up to it. You're not a comedian who leaves the audience awe-stricken.
And will never be.
Insults are never hilarious, it never lightens a person's mood. Teasing is enjoyable, when it's functioning two-way. Know the difference, for you'll never succeed in planting smiles onto people's faces and will only end up being alone.
You aren't cool by retorting with lame remarks.
You're being stupid, and to everyone it's a type of chagrin, which others will stare and snicker, leaving trails of hard-core gossips imprinted with black footprints of hatred behind.

2009-04-19T19:13:00.002+08:00

Balloons inflated with sorrow burst;
Gold made with happiness came pouring down instead, like infinite droplets of smiles embroidered within.

My mood's slightly better (:D) so I'm replying tags! I know it's been decades since I last replied (._.) yea yea SORRY MANXZXZX (D:) !

Here goes:

NAT: HEYY! Hahahahha okay I shall join Taek one day... :D And maybe next time if you're being bullied I'll be there to KEE-CHAAA the person! :DD

JC: hahahhahah thanks for saying that my blog is "chim", but it's not la! :D Just very wishy-washy... :x I NEVER DAO YOU D:

Kayla: Sorry, you've got to ask the pro to translate - minghui :D

Jasmine: HAHAHA YES I LOVE YOUUU <33

JC: hahahah you ARE forceful, and THANKS FOR SAYING THAT I'M CUTE :D

weiyu: YEAHH hahahah! thanks soo much! good luck for math (since you don't have chinese, humpf) ! :D

eliz!: relinked :D

Rae: hahahah yeahhh it's so funnayye! :D I read and felt like, omgosh so poor thing... until I read the last line .__.

yuanmei: It's Chicken Soup for the Soul :D Teenage one!

Kayla: HAHAHAH DARLINGGG, ALFRED IS SHUAI OKAY :D

JIANSHENG: hahahaahahah I'm fine, thank you! HAHAHA TRICKED BY MY STORY!!! How can lah, I'm not so daring to say who I love so deeply for the public :D hahaha lucky you got such a good girlfriend to rescue you! :D HAHAHA relinked le lah! yep meeting on 16 may already :D

natalie!: hahahha yes I agree he's VERY blur :D THANK YOU FOR SAYING THAT I ROCK! <33333

weiyu: HIS NAME IS ALFRED :D ain't he just lovelyyyyyyyyyyyy <3 WHAT HE'S NOT HOT??? COMEON I KNOW YOUR TASTE AIN'T THAT BAD!!! hahaha :D

JianSheng: I shall reply the same way as you do... haha... thanks for your offer... yes... you and natalie have both helped me to relieve my anger... I agree... they are losers...

natalie!: yepp thanks!! :D

Kah Hwee: hahaha thanks for tagging, nice to meet ya! :D sorry about the auntie thing :x NAT'S FAULT LAH hahahha no lah kidding! ;)

yuanmei: thanks for tagging! :D

XINGTING!: hellooooo darling! :D hahaha.

eunice: OMGOSH YOU TAGGED!!!!!!! :D hahahaha very happy to receive your tags! :D must tag more okayyy :D

Kayla: HE IS NOT SHORT OMGOSH KAYLA ! (I don't like L___'s nose =P)

weiyu: NO OF COURSE YOU'RE NOT A CLOSET MUGGER!!! you are my TRUE friend <33333! just some others... y'know (; I'M NOT TELLING NA NA NI PU PU!

natalie!: I MISS YOU LOADS!! YOU ALWAYS CHEER ME UP TOOO <333 hahahhaha we always think so far :D (P.S. have you & js decided on your son's name ;O I HAVE! :D)

Charmaine: WOAH YOU'RE ANOTHER WHO VERY LONG NEVER TAG! hahahahah thank youuuuuuuu so much!!! :D aiya first is impossible! hahahha :D I get consolation alr very happy okayy! :D

weiyu: HAHAH YES MY BLOG SONG IS VERY NICE!

Wan Lin: hahahhaha thank you for tagging ! :D yeaaa FIRST time win mah, of course must make it big and thank everyone :D thanks, you jiayou too! GET FIRST EVERYTIME HAHAHAH :D

weiyu: woahhh... visiting just to hear the song? AWW MAN <3 how sweet of you! :D visit more visit more! I should go put those counter thing... and soon there'll be like hundreds of thousands 'cos you keep on coming :D

natalie!: SURE!! :D hope that I'll get it before 16 may then I bring to let you hold! CAN EVEN POSE WITH IT :DD hahahh I'm SUREEE you'll win many more prizes! after all you are proooo <333

LOW SHIN YUN: HHAAHAHAAH YES YES YES !!! THANK YOUUUUUUUU <3333333! :D

moky: OH PS PS SORRY!!! >< the name isn't in order of who I like... it's random!! :D AT LEAST YOUR NAME IS UP THERE! :D hahhahha yeah I should put you in front of Lagoon... (later people think that I love siao people a lot :D) DON'T WORRY, I'M SURE YOU'LL WIN LOTS OF PRIZES IN YEARS TO COME! ;D

LOW SHIN YUN: hahahaha okayyy! No wonder... I was wondering what moky was talking about :x

OHMYHOLY. SO MANY TAGS!
you guys killed me man.
NEVERTHELESS THANK YOUUU SO MUCH FOR ALL YOUR LOVELY TAGS!
had a great time reading them!
(but not so great time replying)
KIDDING :D

<3333333333333

2009-04-18T15:01:00.005+08:00

TODAY IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!
Okay maybe not the best, but definitely one of the best!

I WON A CALLIGRAPHY PRIZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! :DDDDDDDDDDD
Since P3 until now, I haven't won anything. And I'm not kidding.
Although it's only consolation (eh don't think lowly of it okay, consolation very hard to get one y'know!), I'm still very happy!
When my name appeared on the screen I went like, OMGOSH!!! YAY YAY YAY! :D
And then the announcer also went, "Wu Jun Ting!"
Okay I know I am very boastful and haolian la. But it's worth the celebration! I even called my dad when he's in China ._.
But right, the prize giving ceremony wasn't today, it's don'tknowwhen. SO I DON'T HAVE MY TROPHY YETTTTT D: very saddening. But it's alright! :D

Today's achievement was all thanks to the following people:

GOD! (I prayed to Him and He made my paths beautiful, 'cos He enabled me to win!
WU LA LA LAO SHI~~! For being forever encouraging and never failing to make me feel good with her smile, for all her wonderful techniques that crafted today! <3
All my calligraphy batchmates: Mei Juan, Xing Ting, Yi Yun, Yue Min, Wan Lin, Shin Yun & Xiao Chou, for being forever encouraging & saying that I've improved & that I'm pro! hahahahaahahahaha you guys are the best! Also, helping me when I was rushing my tikuan! <3333333
Zhuo Lao Shi! For being encouraging and constantly saying that I've improved! <3
Fo Guang Shan Judges, for thinking that my words rock & allowing me to win! :D
My family members! For not giving up on me and always waiting for today, knowing that I'll succeed! <3
My friends for always loving me! <3

Did I miss out anyone... :x?
If I did must tell me hor! :D
I AM SO HAPPYYYYYYYYYYYY ! THANK YOU ALLLLLL <3!>

OKAY BYEBYEEEEEE <33!

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
not with your understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
and He shall make your paths straight.
:)

2009-04-14T19:41:00.003+08:00

Blogger is a place where I can rant and not scramble for words to fit in those empty spaces. I've been talking to crazy Xing Ting these times and I've realised that they're many similarities between us.
I miss primary school.
Although then I've always looked forward and waited impatiently for secondary school, the eagerness to start anew was boiling up inside me each day. But then, I found myself heading towards Nanyang, a small dim lamp in the bright spotlight of dreams.
Suddenly, I became more of a robot. I never had my own ideas anymore, instead everything's blur, there are no crystallization of outings, lies filled the room of liars.
Closet muggers loomed and they made you feel inferior, non-closet muggers were innocently classified, too. Torrents of pity sometimes emerge, but many a time you get engrossed in the overflowing gossip that you forget what it's like to be young again, and not in this drastic working life which we are facing 10 years earlier.
I've been acting like a geek, studying and being kiasu, shamelessly selfish at times, too. At times I feel my mind wondering... Will we continuously sharpen and polish our acting skills to the extent that we forget who we were, who we used to be? Will we forget the incidents that made us tumble with laughter, or was smiling only existant when you were the top in class?

I've always told my mum that studying ain't a neccessity, as what if you've been studying for your 10 years since you've been born, working aimlessly for your PSLE...but omninously a tragic disaster escaped and you're gone. What use is that 10 years of studying, without having a taste of the WII or LAN?

I know I should be studying History, since I haven't even memorized anything and stop fooling around with my "husband" (aka laptop :D), but today I felt an incontrollable sense of urge to blog. Oh hell, I'm sure I'm gonna flunk History.

I miss Natalie oh-so much! D: Nowadays memories of Natalie came back to me... Like the time I wrote her surname wrongly in my xi zi, and she's always inhesitant to come straight up to me and see what I was doing, instead of just being shy & all. Nat's really the bestest friend ever!!! <333333 I can't wait for her wedding (;

I should change from saying "I miss primary school" to
I miss my true friends.

2009-04-03T15:01:00.003+08:00

I utterly detest disgraceful copycats.
People who rip without lining credits, people who pretend that they're the inventor with ideas full of creativity and fantasy when they plainly duplicated others' works and named it "My Own".
I have tolerance for patience, sorry to mention and drown your uplifted spirits. You want to use metaphors like I do? OH YEAH HOW SMART OF YOU TO SPIT IT RIGHT IN MY FACE. Every blood vessel in my body is squirming and boiling with vengeance, indescribable levels of anger and discrimination of you.
If you think that you have the damned brains to read this, which I think you do everyday to make your posts seem so alike to me the professional, please turn away from being such a ignorant brat, change your way of posting to the way it used to be.
You are nothing but a gigantic copycat who never fails to jump on an opportunity to snatch and photostat for pleasure, a selfish actress who never paused to think who you had been treading on all these while when you were plain downright copying. You always claim that you're being bullied, and pity falls on you like infinite droplets of rainfall, but have you ever thought about those that you had been sacrificing?
YOU ARE NOT A PRO - COPYING NEVER REQUIRES TALENT. If you have the guts to show to the whole world that you're not somebody whom people ought to respect, please I'm begging you be who you were, or if I take drastic action, forgive me.

I'm not hesitant to point you out, if you need the guidance.
For your dearest information, a copycat never gets recognised. That's probably why people all see through and pin-point your bad qualities, after all you're too transparent and busy ripping.

2009-04-02T14:58:00.002+08:00

Life now is a series of confusion.
Crystallization of fabricated stories exaggerated from facts are carving a statue of hate and disillusion. Pity is a word that's non-existent in our pre-prep conversations, projection of anger are yet so prominently exposed.
Through experiences, I've understood that hurtful words are optimistically another perspective that people see you. I've received them before and gone through them through buried torrents of anger and blaming others, but have we actually thought of blaming ourselves instead?
Like, maybe if we could twig it and become someone else that people would love, would these tags be still roaming for the world to view? You can't blame people, really. Self-blaming ain't the perfect choice either. It's more of both parties. If people cannot accept who you are, then move along and find others who are more suitable to share your sense of humour and your way of life. After all, perfection isn't a heredity trait.
If you do not accept others comments and pass them off as a type of chagrin, you'll never become a better person with smiles that charm, laughter that attract and voices that lures people's imagination to a world that you've created. However hurtful they may be, it might be because one's mad and intolerant of your behaviour. Also, pitying is of no use if you do not instill a sense of justice and morals in yourself. I'm not taking sides, but instead learning on my own and sharing my points of view with all reading. Life's a learning journey; as the Chinese proverb goes, “活到老，学到老。”

-xx-

Phew! 2 down, 4 more to go. Hmm on the optimistic side... We're 1/3 done with our block tests! Not to brag and blow my (huge) trumpet, I've become an even more hardworking person this year. Don't you all think so, too? :D It's like I'm even completing worksheets that ain't graded. Last year I couldn't even cope with assignments, much less tuition homework. I think Eunice's a fantastic influence, *grins*. I bet she's being egotistic when she reads this.
I'm in Comp Lab 2 now while blogging, and they have new computers - LG! Wait, I think it's either I'm currently having deja-vu or I've used this computer before because just as I said it's "LG" (you know the one with the smiley face logo thing), I felt a sense of recognition.
I must be aging.
OH I CAN'T WAIT FOR CONFESSIONS OF A SHOPAHOLIC! <33! I've been waiting since Elizabeth told me that they showed, which was probably in Nov / Dec last year :O And now there are like stoopid block tests! Nonetheless, I'm snipping and pinching out bits of time, so I'm most probably going to watch it right after History block test. Reasons being:
#1. Chinese is next, I suck in Chinese and I cannot prepare for it.
#2. There are 2 weeks before the Chinese block test!
Yep, and so far only Eunice's going to watch with me, anybody else! :D Please leave a tag / sms me / tell me in school!

Well. Calligraphy is in 10 mins.
That's perfectly alright, for I simply adore Calligraphy. Yeees.

2009-03-27T20:47:00.003+08:00

I've been waiting and staring,
being innocent for probably a decade.
In the long run I've always wanted you to be here.

To be with me, clutching my hand as though I'm the only one in the world,
to be together as one
and laughing heartily with your silly jokes.

Seeing others with their happiness,
makes me look down at my empty heart.
Songs have you constantly ringing in my mind,
emails about you are yet so true.
Why do I keep on palpitating when you set your eyes on me,
it just ain't right.
I should stop deceiving myself and get a life with someone else.
But yet still you're ringing in my mind and I re-read our memories,
as though they're a written book in my heart.

It's time I stopped dreaming,
and made something happen.
It's just that, I'm not going to take the first move.

I want a boyfriend, damnit.

2009-03-27T18:40:00.004+08:00

I aspire to be like Chen Jie, the awesome and incredibly fit dancer captured in the stunning picture looming above.

She's kinda hip-hop mixed with gymnastics and at the same time, flexibly graceful.

She could be lifted in a handstand high up, and do a perfect 180degrees split without stumbling. She makes minimal flusters and is definitely a much better dancer than Jeanette Aw, but I don't see why Jeanette gets more attention, and won the Ockoto thing.

Chen Jie's moves with the guy that bears the name Chen Huabao (something like that) is wonderfully coordinated and it makes you exclaim in wonder, "Woah, was that just my eyes playing tricks on me?!"

She's just undeniably gratifying and satisfying, the elongated dress flowers over her while she spins and jumps... Or when she's wearing black short skirts, her body flies with it and filled with inexplicable strong punches that adds feeling to a dance.

Gosh, watching her makes me drool with envy.

2009-03-27T17:19:00.002+08:00

Everyone's commenting that my previous post, titled "The Special Someone", is hilarious.
I was scanning through it and going, "Wow, what a detailed experience" until my eyes landed on the last sentence. If I recalled correctly, my jaw had dropped (like this: O:) and I smiled at the utter lame-ness of it.
The book is actually Chicken Soup for the Soul - High School. That was one of the real-life stories. Mind you, that previous post was scraped out by hands tapping on the keyboard, not simple copy and paste. So if you want to treasure that precious post, you might want to re-read it and this time, taking notes of each word and learning new vocabulary. :D By doing this, you're soothing my heart by telling it that I've not wasted my efforts.

Hmm, I think it has been a long time since I've last posted. Well, maybe not that long but some people have been complaining!
Geography Block Test is over, hip hip hoorayyy! I think this is probably the first blocktest that I've worked and studied repeatedly for. I've practically stuffed all the 6GB of information into my 2GB brain, and surprisingly it could fit.
Perseverance brings you far, that's what I can conclude from all the never stopping, heart aching and brain racking flipping through of pages and rambling of words, tumbling into a beautiful ink fall of scribbles on the test paper.
Come to think of it now, I have not cleared my room table. It now looks like a pig sty, thanks to the numerous paper mountains of Geography notes that the teacher threw on us.

I still have not watched Confessions of a Shopaholic D:
I wanted to watch today, but I would be a loner if I did. And I don't want to watch it with my family 'cos it's a chick flick, and it'll be utterly ridiculous sitting beside my parents and watching Becky kiss Luke.
It just ain't right, and it doesn't fit the citeria of enjoyment. Sorry to say, but that's true.
I'm waiting till the Intergrated Mathematics Blocktest is over, then maybe they'll still have the show.
Otherwise, Eunice & I will rent / buy the disc and we'll both watch. [: ANYONE ELSE WANT TO COME??? You're invited, if you read this!
(Hah, see if you are a loyal reader of my blog, you'll stand a chance to receive fun-filled entertainment!)
(Gosh, I sound like a advertisement! :O)
Alright, I shall stop laming around and spare you guys all the trouble from squirming in you seats and aching for this stoopid post to end.

TATA & THANKS FOR READING ! <333

-xx-

God created today,
we must rejoice and be glad in it.

That Special Someone

2009-03-23T20:26:00.003+08:00

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequitted love.
~ Charlie Brown

From the first moment I met Evan, I knew that he was that special someone. Even if I knew I wouldn't be spending the rest of my life with him, I knew that I absolutely adored him before I even knew his name.
I met him in Drama Club, and I took an immediate liking to him. He wasn't all that handsome, but what I fell in love with was his personality.
I know that you probably think fourteen years old is much too young to claim to be in love, and I agree. However, I could tell that when I met him, I would spend a long time mooning over him. As it turned out, I did.
Mine was the type of crush that would stop me in my tracks when I saw him in the hallways. He would sometimes smile at me, sometimes he wouldn't, but I would still let out a breath that I had been holding in after passing him, and once he was gone I could feel my body stop shaking. It was sickening how completely crazy I was about him, especially since I was a freshman and he was a senior.
As I stated before, I met him in Drama Club. It was my first year and his last, which made things even harder. The first day of Dram Club, I hardly noticed him. It was our first meeting after auditions, and I was nervous, even with my normal friends around me. I saw seniors, and I was extremely and utterly afraid of upperclassmen.
One of our first exercises was to get into groups. I wasn't in a group with any of my friends. Instead, I was stuck with a sophomore and two seniors - one of them was Evan.
I smiled faintly, and we went on with the exercise which we had to say our character name and walk around in a diamond as everyone repeated the name coupled with a dance move. My two-syallable name was perfect for the exercise, and at the end, Evan smiled at me, telling me that I had great rhythm. I grinned back, my voice high: "Th-thanks!"
I knew that there was definitely something about him that I liked. Perhaps it was his constant happiness. Whenever he was with me, he would accompany his "hello" with a smile and a cheerful wave.
Maybe I liked how he brightened the room. He could dance and sing, make anyone tumble with laughter and pull off any joke or stunt or outfit... I absolutely adored him through and through.
In our play, he was the antagonistic character, the Devil. He played the part perfectly, and I would sometimes stand backstage so as to watch his dancing skills as he practiced.
I was fortunate enough that year to find my own skill in dancing, something that caught Evan's eye. The entire Drama Club applauded me with a standing ovation - twice - for my skill, but I would have given it all way just to have him look at me and smile, even faintly. I could tell that he liked me as a friend, at least. Evan would smile, I would melt. He would laugh, I would sigh. The list went on and on.
I suppose at this point, I should move on with my life. All that I have left are the memories and a few weeks until the end of the school year. I have a few pictures of him - a friend from Drama Club took a picture of Evan with his arm around me, wearing my favourite costime of his from the play. I haven't gotten it from her yet, but once I do I will be framing it and putting it next to my bed.
I adore Evan. I really do. I'm a freshman and he's a senior. It's too bad that he's graduating this year. It's too bad that I won't be able to see him for a very long time.
And it's too bad that he's gay.

~ Roxanne Hawthorne

2009-03-19T11:29:00.002+08:00

My thick strands of white hairs are itching to stretch out of its roots.
I can't stop the irresistible yearning to use the Internet, and yet I have no time management. I repeatedly told myself, 30 mins 30 mins, but when I plonk my butt down the stale hard chair, it's like I'm super-glued on it or something, 'cos I can't get it out for at least the next 3 hours.
And at the same time, warning bells are setting off by themselves in my head - I have not started on any homework or studied even a single slide of Geography.
Today's my mum's birthday :D
(I shall give her a birthday dedication l8r)
and so... at lunchtime we're going to go out and behave like monkeys till dawn.
Sat, too.
Now, how the hell am I supposed to complete my studying for Geog + Homework???
I've already planned to study Geog only next week :O , 'cos anyway Geog's on thursday.

OKAY NOW FOR THE DEDICATION!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUMMY!!! ♥♥♥♥♥♥

May all your wishes come true :D
Hope that you can be more relaxed & can start on all the aspirations you have of yourself!
May your this birthday be filled with surprises in all shapes & sizes! [:
Oh and puh-lease la, you're not old :D Just one year older.
Thank you, a million ke zillion times, for being such a great mother, being here with a tissue, and bitching about people whom you have never seen before, in the hopes of making me feel better.
Thanks for giving me advice about guys, and telling me which one is the shuai one and letting me know that I have such a horrendous taste.

P.S. YOU'RE NOT FATTT!
You're slim :D

I LOVE YOU LOADSSS!!!
Enjoy your birthday darling! <333333333

Oh, have I said before that my mum comes to my blog sometimes :D
hahaha! so I must say some uhm good stuff about her.
Ohman I gotta go now :D

SEE YA, MUAXXX!
Love & Peace, yo [:

OHWAIT :D
I want to make my goals list!

A1 - Integrated Mathematics
A1 - Physics
A2 - Language Arts
A2 - Geography
A2 - History
A2 - Chinese :O

MY MUM SAYS THAT PER SUBJECT I GET A, I'LL GET 50 BUCKS.
For chinese if I get an A I'll get 100 bucks :D
So if I reach my goals for everything... $350!!! :O
I've already planned on what to buy.
Nat's birthday's coming soon - 15th May!
I'm buying her an Adidas shirt, the one that Eunice & I tried on! :DD
I'm sure she'll love it <33!
SO I MUST WORK HARD! And get $$$ [:
Yeppp.

OKAY BYEE I REALLY GOTTA GOO !
I shall upload the Adidas shirts pictures sometime [:
TOODLES <3!

2009-03-18T13:47:00.002+08:00

When you're unpopular, you become superhuman.
You don't need to hear the whispers and yet are sure that they're bad-mouthing you.
You know how to lip-read and the last stall in the toilet's your favourite hang-out.
You don't need to turn around and yet can count the number of people who're staring at your back.
Maybe being superhuman ain't so good after all.

2009-03-17T13:16:00.002+08:00

I love Jasmine :D
and Jincheng.
Okay the jincheng part was added in just 'cos she would be sad if I didn't write it.
HAHAHA JUST KIDDINGGG!

Jasmine is a crazy deluded person. She normally takes 67 from Nanyang side, but after OM yesterday she went to take with Jincheng & I to Bukit Batok Interchange, on board the 852. After 35 mins she looked out of the window, saw the trees and said, "Hey this reminds me of KAP."
I stared at her and went, "This is KAP."
Her mouth went like this: O: and she exclaimed with a slight disdain of horror, "WE'RE STILL AT KAP?!?!?!?!!?"
So she decided to get out of the stupid bus and cross the bridge to take back to Nanyang again .__.
SHE'S WILLING TO TRAVEL AN ADDITIONAL ONE HOUR JUST TO SPEND 35 MINS WITH JINCHENG & ME!!! (although it's more of me :D)
hah man I envy her. 'cos she wasted 1 hour when she could have spent that on her Chinese SIA + Yuedubaogao which were due TODAY.
Ohgosh.
I hoped she managed to complete it.

PAINTING IS FUNN!
Now Jasmine is my Romeo. [: in the new OM script.
I think right, most of our goals (aka Amanda's, Jasmine's, Samantha's, Jincheng's and mine's) are all to just finish this OM and not embarrass ourselves in front of other schools during the performance. I KNOW IT'S BAD D:
OM IS JUST FOR US TO ENJOY & HAVE FUNN!
Thanks to Jincheng & Jasmine I'm addicted to Chinese songs now.
ESP LIN JUN JIE'S! D:
awwwwwwwwwwwwww shax.
But they're really melodious! Although I have no idea what they're singing about.

-xx-

I never liked people who invaded my privacy. In other words, asking for my results even though I made it fairly obvious that I did not welcome their minds into storing my scores.
Sure, you're curious.
But if I asked you about something that you didn't want to tell me, something personal that you'd rather keep to yourself, would you like it?
Not only did you stop asking at my head shaking, a sign of no, you continued pestering, and made me seem like the bad guy.
Go figure.
I felt like asking you about something that you've been doing to yourself, just to let you have a feel of it, but somehow I held myself back.
I don't want to hurt you, esp in front of people whom you're acting cool for.
But it's time for you to learn, too, to stop being so persistant in knowing the curves and straights of people's lives.

My mask of tolerance is about to slip.
Bernice, exhale, for life is on the margins.

-xx-

I CAN'T WAIT FOR BLOCK TESTS TO BE OVER!!!
I've got a date at K-box :D
(*winks* pokka green tea & jc)
We're booking a sound-proof room, in an effort to help people 'cos I don't think they would like hearing voices like ours :x
I think I might need to buy a mask.
Just in case there are complaints.

2009-03-14T17:52:00.003+08:00

I've realised with an undeniable doubt that I have a level of patience is pretty low.
I flare up within seconds, and my blood boils with every syllable that a person whom I find unbearable spells out.
What is happening to me?

Nanyang is competitive.
That's a stated fact. Even if you strongly object to it, there are many evidences pin-pointed for you, leaving you speechless and unable to argue.
I'm starting to get used to it - the constant exchanging of results, the continuous questions raining on you. You can't not give. Whichever way, you're the loser who falls out in the very end.
People change with time, and with you yourself.
Copycats don't come naturally, they're nurtured. They see a good trait in you, and they eagerly try their utmost best to copy, but hey it ain't that easy. I'm still trying to get used to the saying, "Jealousy is a compliment." Copycats copy you 'cos they're good.
But why hasn't anyone thought of a proverb that explains perfectly why when a copycat succeeds in copying, you're not the one whom people look upon?
Good people, they stay with you till the sky falls down and the rocks cave in. You can tell who are the selfless guys, with one question you'll know, an answer etched in your heart, drawing you inconsiderably to that norm who ain't blinded by the complexity of life.
We all strive for the best, yes we do. But do you do this by snatching and scratching for bits of information, pouring them out by turning your "good friend", a scholar, upside down, and one day when you succeed, while he fails, will you help him in turn?
Or do you say "no time" and carry on like he's someone you just bumped in the wet market when you're bargaining for chicken?

You know the answer. You know the truth that lays at the bottom of your heart, while you're desperately trying to keep it mum. You act, with your flawless words and aching smiles, but an actor is never perfect. There's bound to be a "No, not good. Try again." and the whole scene shoots again. Too bad, na na ni poo poo, there ain't no such thing in life.
One slip, and there you are. Why can't you let people have the good knowledge, must you keep it all to yourself? Are you even sure your brain has sufficent space?
One day, when the omninous shadows of the trees are elongated, I will explode with all that buried confusion and throbbing worries. If you want help, yes I am most willing to offer, but if you want to copy, NO, THANK YOU. That's my hard earned effort, that's my brain cells invisibly hidden in it. There are even people trying to copy my way of posting. Not typing, but posting. They try to post like me - some ridiculous words that I use, the repeated 修辞手法 and my emotionally mood swings.

There are people whom I can entrust my whole life to, but I can count them off my fingers. There used to be countless - even with my toes I couldn't finish.

I miss primary school.

-xx-

I WANT TO WATCH HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU :D
Eunice is going to watch with me!
OOH sweet Eunice said that my posts & wishlist are funnyyy ! <33
That's really nice of her, haha!

Meanwhile, I'm trying to complete and furnish my geog SIA before I go mad and enjoy my holidays.

TA TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA DARLINGS!

Oh pleaseee leave a tag, greatly appreciated! :DDDDD

2009-03-09T15:15:00.003+08:00

I feel a sense of unadulterated joy, having completed my Chinese SIA.
Mind you, this piece of work was undoubtedly crafted by my aching hands with throbbing veins, and I bet my brain is distorted while I type this post out, so pardon me if my sentences sound mysteriously horrifying and does not make any sense.

I've been reading this book on Law which I snuck out from my dad's bookshelf, and it's highly entertaining. You get to see the innocence side which unfortunately is being failed to portray by our local newspapers (probably reporters being evil witches?) of criminals who won or lost cases. You get to read their testimonies, through an Ah-Long point of view, or through a wrongfully accused gentleman, whimpering his sob story. I find defense attorneys highly admirable - they defend and win cases in which they find their client horrendously heinous. It's just like supporting a vegetarian rally when you are own a poultry stall in the wet market.
Now that's amusing.

I am going to attempt to finish my history assignment, calligraphy, and studying for my physics quiz with consideration for my Chinese tuition later. In addition, Heart of Greed will be showing in the living room, making it impossible for me to ignore it. My plans for working at night will have to be demolished.

Oh gosh, why the hell am I in such dire straits? I am a student, for goodness' sake. Not a high-flying and almighty Emperor of China.

2009-03-09T12:19:00.001+08:00

MY BLOG IS IN CHINESE :D
I am very cheena, look my chinese so pro!
AND PLEASE DO NOT TRY TO INSULT ME BY SAYING THAT MY NAME IS 伯尼斯.
Thankyou. :D
HERE'S THE LINK!
Credits: Minghui & Google (?)

http://translate.google.com/translate?prev=_t&hl=en&ie=UTF-8&u=http%3A%2F%2Fapathoflove.blogspot.com&sl=en&tl=zh-CN&history_state0=

ENJOY ! <3

2009-03-08T13:20:00.002+08:00

OKAY TIME TO REPLY TAGS :D
Sorry I took very long yes I know :x

minghui[: hahahhah yep the quiz you did was hilarious! :D and highly amusing. undoubtedly unbelievable though :x haha! YOU AH EVERYDAY DON'T WANT TO DO HOMEWORK! actually me too lah :D

Andrea: YEAH! I saw your fb picture and I was like, woahhhhhh is this Andrea :x HAHA! I changed a lot, too. [:

jw: THANKS! Happy belated CNY to you, too :D

JASMINE: Jasmine darling, soorrrryy that I didn't link you. WHAT'S YOUR URL!

YIYUN: HELLO! The converse thing is cool lorh :D got my name and plus I'm labelled "the star".

Rachel t: HELLO! hahahah ohh you have a blog :D so cool! okay I will link you [:

weiyu: hahah yo! :D I want to go to munchkings & queens again! I LOVE THE SOUP LAHHH <333 yep yep I took a lot of pictures with you during LSC whattt.

charmaine: OHGOSH. So many tags :x okay where shall I start... I'M A GOOD FRIEND! That's why I want you to look good with designer earrings [: and it seems that I must buy those really thick ropes. 'cos right, you so strong (learn taekwondo) skali later can break the ropes :O YES! our school everytime want us to donate $ then don't use it to invest on a good sound system ._. hahahha I don't think they will listen, but nonetheless I'll try okay :D 为了你！hahhahah THANKYOU <3! EXCUSE MEE I AM VERY STRONG OKAY! why can't I do taek? I am so tough :O ! hahahhha you belong with me <3333333! BUT NOWWWW "MY LOVE WILL GET YOU HOME" IS SO MUCH MORE MELODIOUS <3!

yuanmei(:: HI DARLING :D

QIANYI: AHAHHAHA YES I KNOW! Thanks for the blingblings on my phone :D

kayla: YES LA SENZA, wo de lian dou bei ni men diu guang le.

clarice: THANK YOU, of coursee my blog is nice :D nanyang's life is like that one, no choice lah D:

yuanmei(:: hahaha but you spoilt it :O but its okay lah :D THE PACT IS DAMN NICEE <33
vanessaaa<3: THANKS FOR TAGGING! :D

jingren: THANKS! oh uhmm your card right... paiseh ahhhhhhhh I shall not explain to you but you'll get it by next week, I promise :D

weiyu: YA LA SOME PEOPLE GO AND MESS UP MY MOOD! of course I'm creative hahah thankyou! <33

j'aime barney (bernice): thank you dearest for loving me but HOW MANY TIMES MUST I TELL YOU I'M NOT BARNEY .__. YAY now I've got ANOTHER SONG which is also very nice :D soothing to the ears.

vanessaaa<3: YES DANCE ROCKS <333333333333333333333333333

jc: hahah I love you too! and you never dao me la, it's always I dao you one :x

weiyu: WALAO EHH ! hahaa kidding :D hahha ILY too!

[:shichen:]: hahahhah thanks for tagging! of course, visiting my blog brings you unadultered joy, right :D

natalie!: Idk when it's coming to Singapore! D: IT'S SHOWING IN THE US , THOUGH. Maybe it's on its way... OKAY LET'S GO TOGETHERR :D

charmaine: YES! but thank God that now it's fixed :D

weiyu: I NEVER CHANGE LAH! but now it's back to normal :D so happypyyyy!

minghui[: I know! You can always buy me another one :D BUT REALLY GOT ONE VERY NICE OKAYYYYYYYYYY!!! <333 I show you next time [: you'll look even chio-er in it :D hahaha not that you're not chio without it :DD

lesley: THANKS!

yuanmei: JOE JONAS ROCKSSS <3!

weiyu: Joe Jonas is not gay la! he's hot :D tell that to mathea, too :D

clarice: YA LORH! joe jonas is hot lorh D: hahahah paiseh! take so long to reply :x

jermaine: DANCE IS THE LOVEE <33 high five dudette!

natalie!: hahah okay I'll try to write all the details! camp is all that you've mentioned :D mixed feelings, actually! thanks for tagging! <33

weiyu: haha it's okay lah! :D I don't mind [:

minghui[: HAHAHHAH SO AMUSING RIGHT. :D the lunch, I meant. hahahha welcomewelcome! [:

BERNICE TO ALL: I find myself stupid. BUT ANYWAY MY BLOG IS FIXEDD WHOOHOOO~~~!

OHGOSH I'M FINALLY DONE.
better read okay. :D

2009-03-06T20:54:00.002+08:00

Walking my way through the streets,
can't you see the light shining,
spotlight on a fly.
It gets trampled, beaten and eventually dies.
Oh boohoo, the life of a fly.

I'm not being sarcastic. I'm being...tired.
RIDICULOUSLY TIRED.
And I have to waitttttt before I can watch Heart of Greed 'cos my mum came home late today.
URGH!
I have nothing better to do than to sit here and think widly about how messed up my life is.
Sometimes I wonder, how long is it going to take before everything starts crumbling down, revealing an opening that we've never ceased to discover.

2009-03-06T20:20:00.002+08:00

You left my heart palpitating, thumping at alarming rates.
Your words seemed so gentle, but yet they're like thunderstorms, raining torrents on me while I etched each word and engraved it into my mind.
I dreamt of fairytales --- knights and castles; princesses flopping down their endless trail of hair; true love's kiss... And your one powerful word tangled my dreams, popping it like a prick in a balloon, leaving me to smile in shame, wondering why I even dreamt in the very beginning.
I want you to say you've made a mistake, that you're sorry, and you didn't mean your words at all. I'm here; arms wide, ready to embrace your misinterpretations, hoping against hope that you're on your way.
That I'm not a princess this aint a fairytale
I'm not the one to swept off her feetlead her up the stairwell
This isn't Hollywood this is a small town
I was a dreamer before you went let me down
Now its too late for you and your white horse to come around
- White Horse (Taylor Swift)

-xx-

CAMP WAS FUNNNNNNNNN :D
We had loads of slack time, gossips were flung everywhere, words tumbled out from many people jumbling up into a crinkled smile bonding us as one. Laughter was strewn along with our towels and at the same time...there was this hard, cold-stricken floor that is decorated with strands of hair, making it disgustingly difficult to sleep comfortably.
This year 209 seems bonded, and I'll upload pictures another time.
Plus, thanks minggy & jincheng for the wonderful lunch *winks & grins*

2009-02-28T18:10:00.003+08:00

It all happened 13 years ago when my dad knew my mum was pregnant and bought a "20, 0001 names for a baby" book. He flipped through it for ages, finding a name that's unique and at the same time utterly meaningful.
Until today I've been skimming through each page repeatedly, and in a scrunched up paper holds the many names I want to name my future kids. If this goes on, my daughter will probably end up with a name that goes like, "Joey Ariel Joeline (surname) Dana Jo Mel Jie Yi".
I've found out that "Cullen" means "Handsome".
Now we all know how Edward Cullen got his name.

-xx-

There are people on Earth whom when you praise them, get shy and turn humble.

There are others who will go, "Of course, of course" but it's merely at the tip of the tongue, not actually meaning it.

There are some, who thinks highly of themselves and is never ready to take others' comments, instead try to succeed on their own.
Some, who always wants help to be constantly improving, but never eager to help others in need.
Some, who has much pride in themselves, fighting for the best, never pausing to reflect on their mistakes, wants to strive for excellence, achieving the top positions, but yet does not give a damn on who they're trampling on.

"Talent is God given, Be humble. Fame is Man given, be grateful. Conceit is You given, be careful."

2009-02-21T16:21:00.002+08:00

I've got good news & bad news.
Good news: My sore throat is cured! :D *clap for me!*
Bad news: I'm sneezing every nano second.

Y'know as I see people's wishlist and get taken aback by the number of bags / skirts / shirts they yearn for, I compare them with mine and realise that I do not have them.
That's partly because when I want something, I buy it. But later I chuck it somewhere, buried in my wardrobe and forget about it.
I start to reflect on this and I start wondering if what my mum said is right... That because I spend too much, I may not have savings next time when I go out to the working life.
I'm afraid. Really. It's like, when I go out with my friends and thus I don't have that much cash with me, I don't manage to buy. And when I get home, I totally forgot that I wanted to buy it.
If I stopped to think whether I need the stuff even when I have the cash, I will save loads on things that I actually don't really want.
And with the current ongoing economic recession... I should help my parents save money.
Yes, so from today onwards, I will buy stuff that I need! :D

Okay that's it, I'm deluded.
Being sick makes my mind go crazy.
Of course I'm still going to buy that nike bag :D

2009-02-20T19:01:00.005+08:00

ARGHH THERE'S SOMETHING MAJORLY WRONG WITH MY BLOGGG!
HTML pros, you're in for a job.
(of course, it must be FOC lah.)

-xx-
Where have you gone,
in your place instead,
stood a stranger I can't recognise.

Your mouth starts to form words I can't comprehense,
your thoughts mixed me up.
Your fists of fights for the academy of high-ranking positions left me stupified,
does being at the top carry that much importance to you?

Self-centered, that's the kind of people you've used to gossip and bicker about,
but look where you're heading.
Where have the other priorities like friendship gone to?
Or is competing the only thing that you see in your eyes.
-xx-

2009-02-18T18:23:00.002+08:00

Stella sent me new songs which are melodious and beautiful, gently wrapped with meanings. I feel obliged to sing along, to let the melody ring in my mind and run through every blood vessel in my soul.
But some stupid thing in my throat made it sore, thus I could only manage an indistinct croak.
Note to it: Just because you're unbearably hurting me, it doesn't mean that you can obstruct my singing.
And anyway, I can still swallow with a pathetic dot like you in my throat.

Oh mannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.
I just realised that I couldn't eat chocolates with you little wimppy ball in my throat.
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Here's a joke which my mum shared with me:
Finding a love partner is just like finding a parking lot in a shopping mall that's always mulling with shoppers.
Because when you finally found a lot...
it's a handicapped.

2009-02-15T20:11:00.002+08:00

I need a break omgosh.
Life is peeing into my coffee and stepping on my toes.

Jodi Picoult's Mercy is excellent.

AND D'YOU KNOW THAT CONFESSIONS OF A SHOPAHOLIC IS IN THE NEWSPAPERS!!!
:D :D
& it hasn't come to Singapore, damnit.
WHO WANTS TO GO WATCH WITH MEEE!
So far Eunice's coming! [:
Who else who elseee.
IT'S A GOOD SHOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

2009-02-12T22:11:00.003+08:00

You gave me a hint, I eased into it.
It was you & me against the world.
Was it something that I said?
Was it something that I did?

Even so, I did it so to open up, the smiles were a hidden note to pretend.
I was stuck onto you, your endless words flooded my mind, leaving no space for the rest.
Yours was the first name that popped into my mind when I needed a leaning shoulder.
I was told, what's done can't be undone.
I told myself to forget, but somehow fighting it does no good.

Or did you lie from the start?
Was I a fool, thinking of the better?
Was it just a damned implication,
was it a joke I was supposed to fall into?

I almost accepted, but you suddenly disappeared.
You left, leaving me to figure how I was supposed to piece the broken shards together,
without giving me the model example.
Those mid sentences, are you going to finish it?
Was it something that I said?
Was it something that I did?
'Cos I gotta know what made me unbeautiful.

2009-02-07T21:06:00.003+08:00

THIS HAS BEEN A HORRIBLE WEEK (with the exception of wednesday) !
Cum last week.
URGHHHHHHHH D:
2009 ain't looking bright enough for me to look forward to the next day.
Being supertitious doesn't help either. I've been avoiding no. 4 (apparently it's my unlucky no.) even to the extent that my music volume must be either 3 / 5 regardless of if it's too soft / too loud.
Call me crazy, but I want a better year.

Nonetheless I still have my amazing family & friends whom all in my opinion should be in the Mental Institute receiving aid to cure their illness. They're a bunch of sot people, but they never fail to make me smile. (:
I love you all ! <3

Then again, I don't see why not-so-nice people should interfere and causing my brain wires to disconnect.
I have a weakness - I can't say no.
I bet that if a terrorist whom bombed some country comes up to me and asks for $100 to pay for his daughter's school fees, forbid me but I would still give it to him.
God knows why.
It's infurating but yet at the same time blissful.
Unfortunately, it's more of infurating.
I don't particularly like people who come to me when they need help but suprisingly when I need their help they turn their backs.
I don't like people who duplicate my ideas and pass them off as their own, thus getting the exact same kind of credit which I deserved.
To sum them up all, I don't like self-centered people.

I hope that what Dr. Martin Luther King had said will come true: That others-centered people will cover up for those self-centered ones. That one day there would be a million helping hands reaching out, eager to help someone who's desperate.

2009-02-01T13:13:00.002+08:00

You spend 5 mins of your life reading my post.
Pulling out a kopitiam chair takes 2 secs of your life. Sitting down takes another 2.
You spend 10 mins carving out a schedule which you never got down to follow.
Yet we never paused to think about what we would have done in place of these minatures - saving the world, helping people, doing something important.
Because when you got right down to it, we lived for the sake of living.

-xx-

Whenever my day is getting rotten, I read. Reading gets my mind off things, when I read I can pretend that the world is heavenly but with a beep, I can get wrenched out of my thoughts and brought back to reality. Normally reading sob stories would cheer me up, because it feels good to know that there's always someone worse off than me in this world, a human trying to figure out if her existance would really matter, period.
After all, what's the point of digesting when you're going to pass it all out; what's the point of remembering when you're not going to forget.

Adults always say that they want to be fifteen again, because then they only needed to worry if the drop-dead gorgeous guy or the girl with the radiant smile fancied them and their algebra homework.
Lucky for them, they weren't born in the 20th century.